Follow
Share

Replacing the much lamented 'On My Mind' profile option, this thread is for musings, jottings, whimsies, preoccupations and the rest of the thesaurus for anyone to jot down anything they please.


I can't remember what the maximum character count was before, can anyone else? But anyway it wasn't very many so let's keep to that.

1 2 3 4 5
Update on my mom:

The shingles spots are continuing to get smaller and lighter, with some disappearing altogether. She had a normal bowel movement without the aid of magnesium citrate back on Saturday, the first normal bowel movement in a little over a month. And Home Health will come by in a couple of days to collect information and get the ball rolling with PT.

Something I didn't mention when I gave the shingles and PT updates. Later on the day of her doctor's appointment and the day after, we talked about various things both of us will be able to do once PT is taken care of, from going places to not having TMI moments. I also made note of various things we've both missed out on because of her being immobile.
(0)
Report

Hothouseflower,
I'm so sorry that your family doesn't want to get together to celebrate the holidays.

I do feel blessed that the family I have left still wants to get together for the holidays.
I just don't want to be the host anymore and do it at my house.
Because,
For the first 5 years after Mother died,I did do Christmas at our house,filled all the stockings,cleaned,cooked everything,etc.but it was hard on me and none of my family offered to help and they just took it for granted.
They just expected me to do it.
So finally,
I told them that I couldn't do it anymore because of my health problems.
They wer'nt happy and they didn't like it but I just couldn't do it anymore.
So,
Since then,we've gone to my brother's house for Christmas and met at restaurants for other events.
I'm sorry I probably came across mean when I wrote.
My story goes deeper,but I won't go into it now.
(1)
Report

Luckylu, I think you are lucky to have a family that likes each other enough to want to be together for a holiday. This is not how it is with my family and I envy people who have that. I wish it were different for me, but it won't ever be. We couldn't even get it together for our mother's funeral..
(1)
Report

My family expected me to step into Mother's place after she left and host all the holidays at my house but after taking care of Mother so long and having so many health problems,there's no way I can be the new Matriarch of the family.
My family wants me to though and they try to make me feel guilty about it but I don't care.
(1)
Report

waytomisery, years ago I would never think I would need to bring my computer glasses to the dentist, just to sign in. And what is even more complicating is trying to sign your name using one's finger on the screen.... oh what a mess.


I do like it when the doctor's office sends me e-mail prior to my appointment to fill out paper work. I use a computer at home with a large monitor, and that makes it so easy then trying to fill out numerous pages attached to a clip board, especially when it print is so small.
(3)
Report

CWillie, I commiserate.

My first instinct when I receive an invitation from my family is to say no. My mind immediately tries to think up excuses why I can't attend.

As far as I'm concerned there is no matriarch in my family anymore. Not since mom passed. My elder sister still hosts Christmas. Every year it seems less of us show up. I show up sporadically but usually end up regretting it.

Willie, I admire the fact that you are even considering this invite you received as it was rather oddly put forth.
(3)
Report

I keep telling people that when you get an invitation your only options are to accept or decline. Instead we always get someone asking (demanding?) to change the day, the time, the venue, the menu... all of it 🙄
(4)
Report

I think I have it resolved. I sent my regrets to nephew #1 and expressed hope that we would all connect on Monday.
Even though I played the role on behalf of my mother I'm not the matriarch of the family, that would be sis, and the way I see it her absolute refusal to step up and make plans through the years is all part of the problem. For most of my life family gathering for a meal on holidays was a given, and for religious ones church was also a given. There was no thought about anything different 🤷
(3)
Report

Cwillie,
Could it be that family is trying to assign "Matriarch" to you, at your expense?

Their back-peddling (not going to be there, doing other stuff) confirms it to be a non-invitation invitation, imo.

How to handle this non-invitation invitation?

On second thought, tell them to bring the turkey pre-cooked, ready to eat with sides on Monday, lol. Maybe someone else can bring a Ham.

Give them the stability of a plan, at least. No one seems to have one.

BTW
Was this a real invitation?
"I was asked if I would be joining nephew #1's family for Easter weekend and I answered I try to be there."

Another choice, you won't be home on Monday?

The key is, rather than be disappointed, what do you want to see happen?
What would you like to do? Start there.
(1)
Report

LOL Send.
I just don't understand how every family gathering turns into this craziness. The reality is the matriarch of the family was the glue that bound us together - first my grandmother, then my mother. Now there is no glue and everyone is always pulling in opposite directions 😔
(4)
Report

Cwillie,
This is a set-up.
Tell them to bring the Turkey spatchcocked so they can BBQ it outdoors on your patio, on Monday.
(0)
Report

Once again my family has me stressing over dysfunctional holiday planning.
Back at the end of February I was asked if I would be joining nephew #1's family for Easter weekend and I answered I try to be there. Now I hear that they will be away until Friday afternoon, then on Saturday they will be involved in a sports event pretty much all day. No actual invite to a meal has been issued for any day although they "bought a turkey". WTH?
On top of all that they are planning to come up my way to visit with nephew #2 and family on Monday, who are only here for a few days.
How do I handle this😶‍🌫️😥🤯?
(1)
Report

In my own mind , I’m tempted to suggest that an awning and outdoor space heater and benches be added outside the door of the dermatologist office for bad weather . 🤔🤔😂😂
I don’t understand the lack of being able to use the patient portal on their website to check in ahead of time as another choice .
(1)
Report

My BIL doesn't have a cell phone and my sister would have a heart attack if she was asked to download an app. And there's enough of a difference between Apple and Android tablets that even those who are familiar with them might run into difficulties.
(I wonder how many days before all the stylus go missing🤔)
(5)
Report

Went to the dermatologist today .
They have a “ new system “ , at check in . You can either check in ahead of time on an App on your phone OR you arrive 1/2 hour early and you pick up a tablet and stylus at the waiting room . You can’t do a pre check in on the website portal either which I thought was dumb .
The line for check-in was OUT THE DOOR because of so many seniors not able to handle the self check in and needing help from the receptionists .

Good thing is was nice weather . 😂😂
Seriously , don’t they realize a decent amount of the current elderly will never learn to use the tablet or a phone APP , or have a smart phone ?
(3)
Report

@golden23

Thank you!

She's not experiencing pain from the shingles. She's experienced the lack of bowel movement, dry mouth, dry eyes, and slight fever that has come because of the shingles.
(1)
Report

Bob - I sure hope this makes a difference in your life and in your mother's life. Shingles can be very painful. I hope she recovers fast She has gone a long time without PT. Wishing you both the best. outcome in all this.
(2)
Report

Back on Friday while I was adjusting the back of my mom's shirt, I discovered some red spots on part of her back, her right side, and her stomach. She had me go to one of the doctor's offices in town and get lined up with one of the doctors to find out if it was a rash, hives, the measles, or something else entirely. Also, she hadn't had a bowel movement in a week. She had gas, but nothing came of that. The things she normally ate and drank to help her do #2 didn't do anything.

Today, she was outside the house for the first time since July 2024, went into town for the first time since February 2020, and she was inside a doctor's office of any kind for the first time since January 2019. It was a little bit of a challenge getting her in and out of the car and she was somewhat slumped over in the car seat heading to and from the doctor. She was prescribed magnesium citrate to treat the bowel issue and pills to treat what she believes is shingles. 3 hours after drinking a bottle of the magnesium citrate, she had a bowel movement for the first time in a week and a half. She had another one earlier tonight and it was a mess that took time to clean up.

But the biggest thing that came from the doctor's visit. And it's something I've been waiting for and praying for for YEARS...

MY MOM WILL BE DOING AT-HOME PHYSICAL THERAPY.

She's finally seen the light and accepted doing PT when the doctor brought up doing it! There's finally some light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. Throughout today and tonight, we talked about various things she hasn't done in years, some of which pre-date the cancer diagnosis, and things she'll be able to do again once she does PT, from avoiding #2-related messes to being able to travel places.

The presumed shingles have been a blessing in disguise. Pray PT goes well when she starts it, she doesn't slack off, and normalcy can finally return to our lives.
(7)
Report

Cure for early morning awakenings....

Hot cocoa.
(2)
Report

Cwillie ,

Yes they make pantyhose.
Ohhh 🤦‍♀️, I hadn’t thought of C shaped seats because I’ve never seen that in anyone’s residential house . C shaped seats are always in public bathrooms,
I was only thinking about someone’s house because this topic was started about your cold seat. lol
(2)
Report

You people are messing with me first thing in the a.m. lol
So I think I have the answer. If you have a C shaped toilet seat you can slide socks or pantyhose legs over the seat.
(I haven't worn pantyhose in years, do they even make pantyhose any more?)
(3)
Report

Send ,

It could be a hack to catch a stool specimen . 🤷‍♀️ ( without cutting a hole in the pantyhose ) .
(1)
Report

Almost no one has noticed maybe.....
An ad or reel, or video offers a solution and you click on it because of that one solution.

Then, crickets. That one solution, or life hack is not covered in the video. Even if you listen forever, it just is not covered. Happens a lot. They call it "click bait?"

So, when something pops up to use pantyhose to cover your toilet seat, what did I do? ha ha. Lol.

So, what do we do, and what for? Do we cut a hole in the center of the panty hose? They never even said it was for warming the toilet seat.

Anyone got a clue?
(2)
Report

hothouse - glad things are working out. Yay for your daughter,!!! A cruise sounds like a GREAT idea. You definitely deserve a break.
(2)
Report

Hothouseflower,

Enjoy your cruise . Well earned respite .
(2)
Report

Thanks for the kind words, Way, Golden and Send. DH came home this morning after an angiogram revealed the problem causing his angina episode on Thursday and prescribed medication. I think we're good and I think we are going to go on our cruise on Saturday if things are okay this week.

I did speak to my sister yesterday so the Dad situation okay for now. My sister got him on hospice. And she told hospice we do not want our father on blood thinners. We only want palliative care. He gets an aid for 4 hours a day in the afternoon so even if someone does not come he's not alone all day.

I had been so upset on Thursday when I called my daughter telling her we were on the way to the hospital yet again and then I told her what my sister did. My daughter told me she called her aunt to tell her that her passive aggressive crap is unacceptable and that I was going through a lot right now and to quit it. I don't want my daughter to fight my battles for me but I was grateful she did this. My sister has to learn this behavior is not acceptable.
(4)
Report

Hothouseflower ,

Sorry, hope your DH will be OK. DH is your priority.
Your father is taken care of in his nursing home . Don’t worry about him . You know he’s declining , nothing you can do about it . It’s not worth getting upset over your sister . At some point, likely fairly soon , you can choose peace and not have to deal with her anymore .
(((Hugs)))
(2)
Report

Hothouse -I am so sorry for all you have to deal with. My sis is similar to my mother too, only worse - colder. I have cut contact with her for my mental health. Prayers for healing for your husband and for peace for you. Keep us updated.
(3)
Report

Hothouseflower,
You are in the midst of a few crises for sure, and I hope it eases up for you soon.
(3)
Report

My DH is back in the hospital again with heart issues. I had to take him to the emergency room yesterday.

On top of that something happened with my sister yesterday about our father. I received a call but she decided to hang up and I called her back and it went to voicemail. I texted asking if everything was okay. I got back a cryptic response Done. I responded telling her I was on the way to the ER with my husband and that he was in the hospital two days last week and had to go back in.

No response from her at all. I know I can’t think about what’s going on with her or my father until I know what’s going on here with DH. But her callousness is just horrible. She is just like our mother.
(3)
Report

1 2 3 4 5
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter