Many of our friends on the site get support from their belief in Christianity, which is wonderful. However they are not the only people who cope with the Ageing issues that the site is for. I remember a post from a Jewish poster some years ago, who was dropping out because of the strong Christian emphasis of so many of the posts. That seemed to me to be a great pity. I have never seen a post from a Muslim, and that is also a pity. The chances are that there may be even less knowledge and support for our ageing issues in other faiths. Atheists on the site usually keep their heads down relatively low!
I asked this question when I first joined the site, and the reply was that most fervent Christians restricted their activity to the thread for ‘Believing Caregivers’, started by Smeshque a long time ago - if you don’t follow that, you can ignore religious comments you don’t agree with. However Christians who post on other threads usually just assume that everyone follows their faith. They rarely get called out for views that may not be shared.
What can we do about it? Perhaps Christians could remember that other faiths have many many followers whose belief is just as important to them, that most faith's moral standards are fairly well in line with the Sermon on the Mount, and that all of us have the problems of dealing well with our ageing relatives. And try not to take offense when other viewpoints come up, in the same way that other posters don’t object to theirs.
One of the best caregivers that mom had was a young woman who practiced Wicca. I didn’t tell mom that she was Wiccan because it may have made my mother uncomfortable. Mom would not have understood an ‘earth’ based religion. My mother believes in the trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit with Jesus as the savior.
The caregiver told me that she was a solo practitioner of that faith and asked how I felt about it. I simply told her that I did not care about her beliefs as long as she was a good caregiver to my mom.
I asked her if she was going to be bothered by my mom being a life long Catholic. Mom had a crucifix on her bedroom wall and said her rosary daily. The caregiver wasn’t bothered by mom’s religion in the least. So, I then told her that it was not an issue.
I appreciated her sharing this information with me. She did not have to. I’m not sure why she did. She was a very sweet woman and I think she just wanted to be herself around me.
I’m sure that some people may have been uncomfortable hearing her news but I wasn’t. Mom liked her. She liked mom and they got along fine.
Again, I thank you for bringing up this topic. If it is discussed openly and from a non judgmental perspective it is good and we can all learn something.
Did this caregiver influence me to want to become Wiccan? Not at all, but I certainly didn’t mind her telling me about her personal beliefs.
Try and force someone like my brother to have a discussion that doesn’t have God in it. It’s impossible! He will continue to try and harm with his biblical references which are completely taken out of context.
Once I asked my brother when did he get a theology degree. He got so furious! It was funny! Laugh or cry! I choose to laugh at people like my brother because they certainly aren’t worth crying over!
Oh when I asked my brother how he could try to enlist the help of his son to cover for him cheating on his stepmom, he was floored by my question! He always blamed the woman for his failed marriages. You’d think after wife number four that he would have some inkling that he was a serial cheater! Hahaha
I knew a woman who acted the same as my brother. I ended up telling her that if she were my only example of a Christian or Godly woman that I would definitely become an atheist!
The only thing she ever told her children was, “God is going to punish you!” I told her that God is not some big bully in the sky lurking about to punish everyone!
She chased all of her children away from her and the church. They wanted no part of her hatred and negativity.
I asked this woman if she felt that God loved her. She answered, “Yes, I do!”
I simply told her that she could have fooled me because all I ever heard her talk about was how God would punish people.
She expressed nothing about God’s love, mercy and forgiveness. It was fire and brimstone all the way!
My brother is one of the most ‘preachy’ people on the planet!
He will beat everyone over the head with the Bible and in the next second has asked his son to cover for him so he could cheat on his wife! It’s sickening!
Then my brother got mad at his son because my nephew would not help to cheat on his stepmother. He is currently on wife number four.
So how can we take people who are so ‘preachy’ seriously? They lose our respect and don’t do anything to earn it back.
It’s always best to ignore these types of individuals. They are narrow minded and will never listen to reason.
Who cares what they say or think about others? I certainly don’t. Why waste my time and energy on a lost cause? We can’t control other’s actions. We can only control our reaction to it.
Fun to see AgingCare weigh in, and I love that they have an eye on us. This thread shows we can both be human and remain helpful to one another, and kind.
Aging Care's weigh-in is a reminder to me to "play nice". I often need such reminders! Lest I have to come steal lealonnie1's tums.
As Sendhelp and others have noted, we do have a general statement in our guidelines regarding religious content. It has always been our policy to keep moderation to a minimum in order to allow conversation to flow. Additionally, it is always our intent to make caregivers' lives easier. That being said, we would like this to be a comfortable place to find answers and support. As with any place a person visits, politics and religion come up- they are an important part of our lives and our discourse. Courteous discussion, even through differences, is welcome here. However, hate speech, personal attacks, or targeting someone based on religion or politics is not tolerated. What we ask is that we converse here in the way that we would when face to face. Generally, we know that at holiday dinners or in mixed company- politics and religion are a sure-fire way to stir things up. For that reason, we don’t encourage it. As moderators, we often make difficult decisions on what we’ll allow. As long as conversations remain civil, we welcome all views and opinions from those who come here to hang out.
Thank you very much for bringing up this topic. Many people feel as you do.
I admire your courage and caring enough about all fellow posters to start this thread. I appreciate your thoughts on the topic.
There are many world religions. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs or no belief at all. There are atheist that have fine morals.
I don’t care what people believe. Just be kind to each other. Stop being so defensive. Believe what you want to and respect others.
It boils down to something very simple. We can only control our own actions. We cannot control others.
Even if we voice our opinions on this topic I seriously doubt it would change anything.
Here’s an idea. Start different threads. If Christianity has a thread, then have other threads for people that don’t hold those views. That is only fair.
Alva, if you post an atheist thread I will drop in to say hello and welcome! You are loving and kind and would welcome everyone.
Initially I thought this an interesting subject, but after reading a few comments I can see that it could be divisive. I bow to your greater wisdom.
Anything divisive is ultimately probably not worth it. We have enough troubles right now in the world; people are feeling shut in and anxious.
So this is going to be the third thread I will leave in as many days, and get back to our attempts to help folks deal with Aging Care.
These illnesses DO have not respect any religion (or our lack of one).
However, if the original post is asking for advice about dementia, AD, or any other illness, wouldn't you want the advice, suggestions, or experience offered by those who can maybe help. These illnesses have no religion. If you're religious, atheistic or angostic and your post can help me, I'm all ears. It's too difficult being a caregiver to worry about who's posting what.
Perhaps you do not know how much your comments are appreciated on the forum?
You are listed as one of AgingCare's TOP MEMBERS for a reason!
That is fitting in, and that is acceptance!
You even have a following of people who agree with you!
I also appreciate and like so many of your comments, even though you have been hostile to me throughout. I figure it to be a personality issue, and I ignore it.
"Personal attacks and threatening language are prohibited and will be removed. Avoid the use of profanity and be respectful of others’ sensitivities. Do not post offensive or discriminatory remarks towards groups of people based on their race or ethnic origin, religion, disability, gender, age, veteran status or sexual orientation/gender identity."
Personally, I have been offended and discriminated against the most on the "believer's thread" you mentioned. To my knowledge, there is no ban on posting quotes on AC, including bible quotes.
I agree with Cwillie, in that the "Believer's" thread is inappropriate.
However, I disagree that bible quotes should be relegated to that thread only. Everyone is free to post their opinions everywhere.
If anyone is offended by a bible quote, or any quote, just scroll on by, imo.
Thank you for clarifying that, it does make sense out of lots of things.
I admit to being opinionated. However, I hold back.
This time, I will comment though.
Starting a discussion on both politics and religion is asking for trouble, dissension, and criticism. imo.
When you target christians by admonishing that group:
["What can we do about it? Perhaps Christians could remember that other faiths have many many followers whose belief is just as important to them,"]
and you did, just there in your statement, you are bringing up and focusing on differences in beliefs between posters here on the forum.
I do not feel 'banned' by saying things about religion or politics, however, a wise person would make some attempt at following the guidelines of the forum hosting one's presence here on the forum, as we are all guests, really. Before someone accuses me of working for AC, let me explain. I will need to go to the AC Administrator to ask that this post be removed, just like any other poster would do.
Again, it is causing trouble to even bring up religious or political difference between posters, imo. In that respect, I agree with the AgingCare guidelines.
I have not found that anyone has any problems with it. That I know of I have not once had anyone attack me for atheism. For writing posts that are too LONG?? Oh, yeah. I get it for that, and well deserved, too. Was even told I was passive aggressive the other day. But as we all know that isn't a religion. Once I even caught it in the neck for calling someone "hon". Never did it again.
I think that a Muslim would be welcomed here. I have had a Jewish poster tell me she wouldn't be around because it was a high holiday for her.
I don't really even think that there is a lot of discrimination politically. We often disagree about what is being handled well or not being handled well, and our "left" or "right" is pretty clear in that.
Basically when I post out best wishes I tell someone my thoughts are with them and when someone who is a believer does they say thoughts and prayers. I don't really know who they are praying to and it really doesn't matter to me and I, even as an atheist, would gladly accept the prayers of anyone.
I am not seeing what you are seeing, and I just wonder if it is a particular post that has you upset recently?
We here all have our own political view and our one vote. We all have our faith or lack of it. We all have our personalities. But I have a feeling if one of us was next door to the other one we would help whenever needed.
Many other faiths (Muslim would be one) often keep their private dealing with family problems within the family. I am not certain if that is why we seem to see few? That is perhaps culture more than faith.
It is an interesting subject. There have been a few times here I have felt somewhat "judged", I have seen people being harsh, but I think I have never been judged because I was an atheist. I mean, it isn't like it is a choice for me. I always tease that I am missing the gene. 78, lots of foxholes, and no religious enlightenment for me in any of them. So far.