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The only person who can revoke papers such as durable or medical POA is the person who gave them. Once the person's dementia reaches the point where they are considers by a doctor to no longer able to conduct their business in a business like manner, then that person will no longer be able to revoke the POA they gave. Also, no one can revoke a will written when a person was of a sound mind. Are you the person with the POAs? I sure hope so. What's going on with the ex-husband daugther?
sammie: so sorry to hear that you are having to deal with these family legal issues as well as caring for some one in need. Did I read correctly that this is your ex? The daughters should be grateful to you and love their father. But, alas, this is never the case. I, too, hope you have his POA and other legal docs that were prepared before the onset of dementia. If he has been documented by his doc, there is nothing the daughters can do. But, it would not hurt to talk to legal counsel...then someone else has heard your story and can back you up. Your ex's assets are for his care....I would use them up to cover all his needs and leave the greedy daughters nada. Wow...you work a lifetime, save your pennies, then when the first sign of illness arrives, the vultures decend....at least it "outs" everyone and shows their true colors. good luck and act quickly. Lilli
It is a sad commentary on the human condition when someone's ex comes to care for them and their daughters are who knows where. I wish they would appreciate what you are doing for their dad and how highly that speaks of your character.
crowemagnum,,Thank you for your advice. I am the POA his daugther's don't know about it,I am he also has a willing will & advance derctive naming me the only on them. As for the grils we haven't heard any thing from them. He won't sleep in his bed this has been going on for about 2 mouths. He has had a lot of sinus drainage it is just clear water. He sleeps in my recliner in the den and dining room.He has an A-FIB. HEART.At night all the sinus drainage gathers in his throut i am afreid that it will drain in to his lungs.When it comes time for a hospital bed i don't know how i will get him to go back to his bedroom.He knows that he is sick but don't understand how bad.H goes back to the Dr. the 29th.
Why don't you tell his daughters that you are the POA in charge and whatever gripes they have, they can either peace chill or peace go somewhere else. So, he has a living will and an advance directed. What about his actual will. As his POA, you really need to know everything about his business affairs including where his will is. Now, you can't do anything to the will, but you need to know where it is.
I wish your ex could see the doctor before the 29th with all these health challenges. I guess he has his reasons for sleeping where he does. Has he ever been tested for sleep apnea? What is he or can he take for the sinus drainage?
It is very kind of you to do this for your ex. You must have a big heart and a deeply caring soul. :)
It took me about 8 months to find my mother's will and living will. I don't think Jack Baur from the TV show 24 would have found where my mother hid it.
I discovered that since 1978 when it was written that she sent it to her mom's safety deposit box where it remained even after her mother died with the estate paying for the box until about a year or 2 before I found it extremely well hidden in something no one would ever suspect a will to be found. I looked in that same drawer in that same dresser I don't how many times until I felt my hand along the bottom of that drawer and found something, but it did not look like anything but an old letter. Wrong, that is what the will was in. Her living will was in a box of spare buttons in the linen closet. Her lawyer, semi-retired, did not remember that he wrote up that will in 1978. I'm the executor and the sole inheritor of all that she owns, ever bought, inherited, or was given and I have the list of what all that entails. It was so good to learn that I'm the executor in case she died before these past due taxes were done. I've seen her husband's will for it was among his papers that I went through trying to find tax related things. I know places to search in his bedroom that the helper either was not allowed into, did not feel comfortable looking or had not idea that was the place to look. My step-brother is too afraid of his dad to look in these places and he is the executor as well as the POA. He's left everything to my mom but if she dies within so many months of him all of his stuff goes to his three children and there is a list of that stuff too. I don't think that my step-dad would want to know that his wife left him out of his will. On the other hand, he might not be surprised. Five years ago, my mother made me joint owner of all her personal accounts with the right of survivor ship and two years ago did this will all of her personal securities. This plus the deeds to 200+ acers of usable farmland which produces income from her mother's estate comes is rather valuable. The 600+ acers of my grandmother's four farms now produce income for all three siblings. Her sister and her bother all had three children and my mother only had me.
Thanks for the advice, Yes you did read that he is my ex...I don't know if he has a will or not .The only asscest he has is 3/4 of an acre of land and house that his daugthers live in RENT FREE. He has always said yhat he couldn't charge them any thing. Half the time they wouldn't pay the power bill .So the light would get turned off.Their Dad would have them turned back on. The lights have been his name for over 30yr's.We have been togather 5yrs. We were divorced because I put a stop to the ligth bills. After a while he moved back into my home.He said that he just couldn't live in his own house becase it wasn't kept clear. I have never been in that house, so i can't say what it like.I maild them a letter saying that they could step up to the plate and help or not.I put a cope of his Dr.s report in with it.It has been a weet now and I haven't heart a word from them.They only live 10min. away.
What an ironic twist! He became your ex because you put your foot down about the light bills which he had no business paying or letting them stay there rent free and now their dad needs them and you are the one back trying to help them. What are those girls doing, i.e. drugs or something and living off of welfare? It was not wise at all for him to divorce you over light bills which meant he was putting his girls ahead of his wife in the list of priorities and my is he blessed to have you now. You must love him greatly still.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I, too, hope you have his POA and other legal docs that were prepared before the onset of dementia. If he has been documented by his doc, there is nothing the daughters can do. But, it would not hurt to talk to legal counsel...then someone else has heard your story and can back you up.
Your ex's assets are for his care....I would use them up to cover all his needs and leave the greedy daughters nada.
Wow...you work a lifetime, save your pennies, then when the first sign of illness arrives, the vultures decend....at least it "outs" everyone and shows their true colors.
good luck and act quickly.
Lilli
As for the grils we haven't heard any thing from them.
He won't sleep in his bed this has been going on for about 2 mouths. He has had a lot of sinus drainage it is just clear water. He sleeps in my recliner in the den and dining room.He has an A-FIB. HEART.At night all the sinus drainage gathers in his throut i am afreid that it will drain in to his lungs.When it comes time for a hospital bed i don't know how i will get him to go back to his bedroom.He knows that he is sick but don't understand how bad.H goes back to the Dr. the 29th.
I wish your ex could see the doctor before the 29th with all these health challenges. I guess he has his reasons for sleeping where he does. Has he ever been tested for sleep apnea? What is he or can he take for the sinus drainage?
It is very kind of you to do this for your ex. You must have a big heart and a deeply caring soul. :)
It took me about 8 months to find my mother's will and living will. I don't think Jack Baur from the TV show 24 would have found where my mother hid it.
I discovered that since 1978 when it was written that she sent it to her mom's safety deposit box where it remained even after her mother died with the estate paying for the box until about a year or 2 before I found it extremely well hidden in something no one would ever suspect a will to be found. I looked in that same drawer in that same dresser I don't how many times until I felt my hand along the bottom of that drawer and found something, but it did not look like anything but an old letter. Wrong, that is what the will was in. Her living will was in a box of spare buttons in the linen closet. Her lawyer, semi-retired, did not remember that he wrote up that will in 1978. I'm the executor and the sole inheritor of all that she owns, ever bought, inherited, or was given and I have the list of what all that entails. It was so good to learn that I'm the executor in case she died before these past due taxes were done. I've seen her husband's will for it was among his papers that I went through trying to find tax related things. I know places to search in his bedroom that the helper either was not allowed into, did not feel comfortable looking or had not idea that was the place to look. My step-brother is too afraid of his dad to look in these places and he is the executor as well as the POA. He's left everything to my mom but if she dies within so many months of him all of his stuff goes to his three children and there is a list of that stuff too. I don't think that my step-dad would want to know that his wife left him out of his will. On the other hand, he might not be surprised. Five years ago, my mother made me joint owner of all her personal accounts with the right of survivor ship and two years ago did this will all of her personal securities. This plus the deeds to 200+ acers of usable farmland which produces income from her mother's estate comes is rather valuable. The 600+ acers of my grandmother's four farms now produce income for all three siblings. Her sister and her bother all had three children and my mother only had me.