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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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No. Certainly not. My parents didn't have services, nor did my brother, nor will I. We all have had/have opted for simple cremation and disposal of ashes.
If it's you , you are asking for absolutely not. If you don't want one, don't let anyone guilt you.
If it's for someone else, I believe you should respect the persons wishes, if it doesn't cost you money and within reason. If the person wishes for a big elaborate funeral, they should figure out how it will be paid for , way before death.
Are you asking for yourself or if you have to have a funeral for a loved one?
If you don't want them to have one for you when you pass away - I would just make your wishes clear to the loved one or Executor of your estate. They will have to do something - be it bury or cremate - and you can talk about all of that as well. But you can absolutely tell them that you don't wish to have a funeral.
As far as the other side of the question - if you are asking if you have to have one for a loved one - nope (in most cases). Unless they have PREPAID for an entire funeral AND left specific requirements for said funeral - in which case you probably have to HAVE it but that doesn't mean you have to tell anyone else about it - so you don't have to go through the process of having an actual funeral with receiving line and well wishes.
My FIL was in the middle. He wanted a "state" funeral. He had it all planned out, choirs, special speakers, special music, massive amounts of flowers, the most ornate coffin. You could tell he had envisioned it as if he would be there. (my FIL had NPD).
BUT...he never paid a penny to make those dreams come true. And frankly he didn't leave enough in his life insurance policy to cover even a third of what he wanted.
So, instead we did what WE wanted to do. Which was to cremate him and have no service.
In my opinion, funerals are for the living. And MANY MANY of the living are getting to the point where they don't want to go to funerals anymore if they can help it.
This is as personal as dying. If you are asking for yourself...YOU do what YOU want. The best thing to do if possible is to pre plan and pre pay your funeral. That way it is all done the way you want it done. There is nothing that says you HAVE to have a "Wake", a Visitation, a funeral or a burial. If you have everything pre planned the funeral home can be called and they will come and pick you up and begin to carry out your wishes.
My DH and I are being cremated. I want no viewing or service. If my girls feel they want a memorial service, thats up to them. I told them to just go for a nice dinner.
I think COVID taught us that funerals are not really needed.
Ugh; funerals. That was the topic at a dinner party my husband and I went to a couple years ago. I was the only one at the table who said I do not want a funeral, I do not want a memorial service, I do not want a celebration of life party, I do not want a gravesite for anyone to visit. I want to pop off into the ozone and be everywhere and nowhere. I will plan and pay for that in advance.
Although no one came right out and said it, it was implied that I am selfish for denying my loved ones the chance to mourn me and say goodbye; that “funerals are for the living”. I reject that. But I did tell my daughter that if at my death she feels the need, she can put together one of those online memorial sites where an obituary is posted and people add their farewells. If she doesn’t, it’s certainly not going to bother me up there in the ozone!
Tha'ts fine for you, especially if you're not religious. In my faith (Anglican), we're like Catholics in this regard. A body must be placed in a casket and buried in a funeral plot or if cremated, the urn must be buried in a funeral plot, placed in a niche in a columbarium/mausoleum, or buried in a memorisl garden with a marker (our parish has one). My late husband wanted burial, so I purchased a funeral plot and casket and prepaid for everything else about 15 months before he died. I had obituaries in three newspapers and had written his up and ready to go when he entered hospice care. Visitation can occur in a funeral home or in the church's parish hall the day before or prior to the Requiem Eucharist. Depending on the priest, he/she might allow family members to serve as lectors and lead the Prayers of the People, but probably not as chalice bearers during the celebration of the Eucharist. I asked my late husband's sisters and one of my sisters to serve as lectors at his Requiem Eucharist. I also had this live-streamed and several people from his high school and college (we lived over 400 miles from there) were able to watch the live stream. (Although not required, the Tech Services Ministry that does this has a limited budget and I donated some $$$ to them for this service.) His long-term care center typically sends a few people to attend as well. They also keep a picture of the deceased and a copy of her/his obituary on display for a few days. They asked me if I wanted his clothing back. I knew a number of the residents were mostly dependent on Medicaid to pay for their long-term care (my late husband was private-pay) and their personal allowance is pretty skimpy. So I said they should give his clothes to someone who could use them.
No, and let it be known that I am tired of going to them. There've been so many, and traveling to a funeral is difficult. I loved an online Gathering that my friend's family held after she passed! We all signed into it from our own computers and shared stories of what our friend had meant to us in our lives. Compared to the sadness, the coffin being wheeled out, the drooping flowers, and devastated wives, husbands and family of the deceased at a traditional funeral, the Gathering was uplifting. It was even fun to hear all the others' stories of our dear departed friend.
I'm not having a funeral other than military commitment honors when I join my husband in a national cemetery.
NOT having a funeral seems most considerate of others.
Not sure which national cemetery you will be using, but I just had my mother interred at Arlington National Cemetry (Dad was US Navy in WWII and was interred in the Columbarium at Arlington 30 years ago.)
To say the service was short would be an understatement -- as the Spouse, Mom got a 5 minute service (after waiting 10 months to be interred). I don't know if all Veteran cemetaries have the same restrictions.
Absolutely NOT. In your will or trust make it clear that you want NO SERVICES or end of life gatherings. No one in my family had services. I don't intend to and have said so in my End of Life documents.
No you don't. You just have to abide by state laws on how to dispose of a body according to that's states rules and regulations. Funerals are expensive and can be as complicated/simple as the person who's dead wishes them to be. Work with your loved one to find out what and how they want in terms of burial/cremation etc. and if they want a funeral.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My parents didn't have services, nor did my brother, nor will I. We all have had/have opted for simple cremation and disposal of ashes.
If it's for someone else, I believe you should respect the persons wishes, if it doesn't cost you money and within reason. If the person wishes for a big elaborate funeral, they should figure out how it will be paid for , way before death.
That the way I feel anyways
If you don't want them to have one for you when you pass away - I would just make your wishes clear to the loved one or Executor of your estate. They will have to do something - be it bury or cremate - and you can talk about all of that as well. But you can absolutely tell them that you don't wish to have a funeral.
As far as the other side of the question - if you are asking if you have to have one for a loved one - nope (in most cases). Unless they have PREPAID for an entire funeral AND left specific requirements for said funeral - in which case you probably have to HAVE it but that doesn't mean you have to tell anyone else about it - so you don't have to go through the process of having an actual funeral with receiving line and well wishes.
My FIL was in the middle. He wanted a "state" funeral. He had it all planned out, choirs, special speakers, special music, massive amounts of flowers, the most ornate coffin. You could tell he had envisioned it as if he would be there. (my FIL had NPD).
BUT...he never paid a penny to make those dreams come true. And frankly he didn't leave enough in his life insurance policy to cover even a third of what he wanted.
So, instead we did what WE wanted to do. Which was to cremate him and have no service.
In my opinion, funerals are for the living. And MANY MANY of the living are getting to the point where they don't want to go to funerals anymore if they can help it.
If you are asking for yourself...YOU do what YOU want.
The best thing to do if possible is to pre plan and pre pay your funeral.
That way it is all done the way you want it done.
There is nothing that says you HAVE to have a "Wake", a Visitation, a funeral or a burial.
If you have everything pre planned the funeral home can be called and they will come and pick you up and begin to carry out your wishes.
I think COVID taught us that funerals are not really needed.
Although no one came right out and said it, it was implied that I am selfish for denying my loved ones the chance to mourn me and say goodbye; that “funerals are for the living”. I reject that. But I did tell my daughter that if at my death she feels the need, she can put together one of those online memorial sites where an obituary is posted and people add their farewells. If she doesn’t, it’s certainly not going to bother me up there in the ozone!
I'm not having a funeral other than military commitment honors when I join my husband in a national cemetery.
NOT having a funeral seems most considerate of others.
To say the service was short would be an understatement -- as the Spouse, Mom got a 5 minute service (after waiting 10 months to be interred). I don't know if all Veteran cemetaries have the same restrictions.
In your will or trust make it clear that you want NO SERVICES or end of life gatherings.
No one in my family had services. I don't intend to and have said so in my End of Life documents.