My 50-yr-old disabled friend is living with her 75-yr-old Vietnam vet dad who now has dementa quickly moving to late stage. They need help.
She suffered a severe brain injury at age 12. Disabled ever since. Always lived with dad. Now getting 4 hrs/wk caregiver. Dad gets all healthcare from VA.
Her brother controls their lives and their money, mostly because he's convinced them it's "easier" to have her bank card and password and get cash when he buys them food. It's a huge mess, but here's specific questions.
Does the VA provide any home health care? Brother has been saying for 2 years that he's working on getting home care for dad but nothing happens.
If VA does not provide such care, where to turn for care? Dad bought a condo only in his name about 6 years ago. He has about $100K of equity now. Between a retirement and Soc Sec, his income is $2,500-3,000/mo. Hers is a little over $1,000/mo from her late mom's soc sec. I think bro doesn't want dad to get home health because he'd have to pay for it and less $$ for bro to take.
When Dad was first diagnosed with Alzheimer's, bro got dad to sign a POA. Is that even valid?
There's so much more, but if I can get these questions answered, it will help me help my friend and her father. Thank all you helpers out there.
https://www.va.gov/pension/aid-attendance-housebound/
"To apply for the Aid and Attendance benefit, you must meet the following military service requirements: You must have served at least 90 days of active duty, with at least one of those days falling during a wartime period. You must have an honorable discharge."
POA is not generally assignable once an elder is diagnosed with Alzheimer's. A certified elder care attorney may be the one to contact now with ALL of these questions, including the brother's right to control bank accounts that get Social Security funds deposited into them! I know that when I controlled my parent's VA Aid & Attendance monies, I had to become the Federal Fiduciary in order to do so. That required me to get letters of character written on my behalf as well as other criteria.
It sounds like this 'brother' is abusing his dad and his sister, at least financially, but also in other ways if he is restricting or preventing health care aides from coming into the home. Is your friend mentally capable of visiting with an elder care attorney for advice? If not, maybe you can go with her to take notes. At the very minimum, dad should be hiring help to come into his home to relieve his daughter, even if he pays for it out of pocket. This is where the brother should NOT be controlling the purse strings b/c he's preventing that from happening AND not getting answers from the VA about what benefits dad may be eligible for but not receiving! That's criminal!
Best of luck and bless you for trying to help out a friend in need.