Follow
Share

He initially thought he won the big 8.5 million lotto, then he was conned into sending money to save the man's job. He was tested for dementia earlier this year and was clean but his behavior in regards to this scam has me concerned so I am in the midst of petitioning the courts to strip his rights and become ward. He was in the hospital and left in altered mental state but still did good on test. Will I be able to get guardianship on grounds that he is being exploited into gambling his money away?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
JJ it’s good that you’ve clarified a few things in your posts, but I haven’t seen any mention of any steps taken to inhibit communications. Ex, disabling the cell or house phone, losing the charger, changing the phone number, changing email address or his password. You may have to do these things creatively under the radar and with a good story.
A suggestion: When my mom was getting more confused using her computer email and getting tons of junk mail, I switched her to PawPaw Mail which is a service for elders (or anyone actually) that is very simple for them. The system required an administrator (me) with my own password. I set up all her current contacts and if anyone not on the contact list tried to email her, it would come to me instead, and I could approve it or not. She could still do all her other games etc, nothing looked different on the computer. This was solely for email and changed her addy from a TimeWarner address to a pawpaw mail one. This was a few years ago, there may be other providers like that now as well. Again you may have to get creative in execution.
Helpful Answer (7)
Report
jjwahl Dec 2019
I blocked all these numbers, send them go to hell messages and even had the calls forwarded to the authorities. When his phone was disabled they went onto the computer and contacted his sister and threatened to kill her. My father is dug in determined to get his damn winnings and refuses to believe its a scam. When he was in the hospital being watched for his altered mental state, I told the staff that he has an obsession with lotto and is being scammed wishing theyd send a psychiatrist in. He seems to be slowing evolving on it being a fake lotto scam but hasnt quite let it go yet. It seems like it would be an easy fix but its not in this situation. He is behind on his mortgage. Contact is made through his decade old flip phone only, I will block their number and they call from another and he scream at me asking me if I put in the blocks. My father will find a way to call them. I admit I have not been creative enough for the criminally intelligent players, I honestly thought that having their calls forwarded to the police would get it but these savages are brazen and have no couth. My father has made them greedy multimillionaires that are hungry for more.
(0)
Report
See 2 more replies
Try to find out if his carrier has the new spam scam blocking ability, Verizon just implemented this and it stops these calls from coming through.

I would also change the numbers in his phone and have the new number one that says it has been disconnected, make sure that the number looks very similar to the original.

I would also contact the credit agencies and put a fraud alert on all 3, this way they can not open new accounts in his name. His identity has been stolen by them at this point.

As others have said show him videos that tell his story to him.

Best of luck, the exploitation of seniors and vulnerable people is on the rise and it takes some creative solutions to protect our stubborn, know it all elders.

My mom just got hit with a solar installation that she thinks will be cheaper than the 100.00 a month power bill she was paying. No convincing her that the 109.00 monthly lease fee is already more than she pays and she will still have a power bill. Thank God we showed up when we did or she would have had a giant hole in her house that they just left. What?!? And she was okay with this.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
worriedinCali Dec 2019
Isthisreallyreal, is there still a power bill even if you have solar panels? I know a few people who actually receive checks from PG&E instead of a bill! I don’t know how solar panels work because we don’t have them. My BIL put them on the house he lost to his divorce. My SIL got them as well and said they will save her a lot of money on electricity. Seems like it’s a long term investment. Because you have to pay so much for the panels. My BIL put them on a 900sq ft house and the cost was $20k! The payment is around $100 a month. So I guess it will take YEARS before you see a return on the investment.
(0)
Report
See 2 more replies
This story hurts my heart and upsets me greatly.
$30K!
Why oh WHY will he not listen to his own child or logic and reasoning?
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
jjwahl Dec 2019
I posted the scammers name and number on the internet as fraud, he believed it and called the scammer and told him to go to hell! I was ecstatic until I watched my dad weaken under the spell of his scammer. Its become a bromance scam.
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
Jjwahl, don’t enable him or bail him out and save your money for counseling for yourself. He is an addict. He will have to suffer the consequences of his actions. If he is deemed competent he has to fall down all by himself. He is an addict. My mother is a gambling addict, an alcoholic and a hoarder and very competent!!!! I got counseling for myself to let go of HER!!!
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
jjwahl Dec 2019
sound advice, he is driving me crazy.
(3)
Report
I see you’re on his main bank account? He got his check yesterday and gave them most of it? Can you intercept the checks on line as soon as they’re deposited and move them to a different account or withdraw it before he can? If you are on his account you should be able to if you keep a close eye on the deposit.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
jjwahl Dec 2019
he writes checks to himself for cash. I alerted the banks ..nothing until the courts give me rights a guardian. This is maddening as hell, I contacted gambler anonymous yesterday, it seems silly but AARP said he likely has an addiction. He wires through Western Union, I notified them and they stalled one wire recently, but he called and gave them a load of yells and they then allowed it to go through.
(0)
Report
Very few things in life upset me as much as these scammers taking advantage of the elderly!

I'm sure you've done all the internet searches on this, but do checkout the U.S. Embassy website in Jamaica:
https://jm.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/victims-of-crime/scams/

I'm not sure going after guardianship is the easiest or best approach. I don't believe a court is going to grant guardianship simply based on the fact your father is gullible and trusting of these scammers. You do, however, need to convince your father that this is, in fact, a scam!
Show him the embassy web page above, show him news articles (https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/jamaican-lottery-scam-victim-waiting-full-restitution-66893264), but don't be argumentative over it. Be persistent and caring. Make sure he knows you are just trying to help, but also that this is a very real scam that many others have fallen prey to.

If you haven't already... REPORT IT! So many of these scams go on for years because nobody reports them.

Contact the following:
Federal Trade Commission at www.ftc.gov
Internet Crime Complaint Center at www.ic3.gov
U.S. Embassy in Kingston at KingstonACS@state.gov
Call a local news station, call your representative, call the police, etc.

Unfortunately, your father, in all likelihood, will not see any of the money he's already lost ever again. You need to convince him to stop. Maybe "accidentally" lose the checkbook for a month and take that time to convince him.

If he truly is addicted - I have my doubts, and I wonder if deep-down he knows he's been had, but simply can't admit it to himself or others - then what about playing the lottery legitimately here in the U.S.? Make it a father/son thing: Go down once a week and buy $5 worth of lottery tickets. Didn't win this week? Oh, well, we'll try again next week.

Just brainstorming here, but please do REPORT IT!

All the best!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
jjwahl Dec 2019
great suggestions and many of them I have already done, the embassy forwarded the info to the police but one of the videos I showed father about Jamaican lotto scammers said that the police there are corrupt too. They have a lotto scam task force that I contacted who so far have not done anything. I must admit I do not want my father displayed on the news just in case he sobers up, bad enough he is one the books as a potential incapacitated ward. I will mention his playing the legit lotto, great idea. If he thinks he has been had, why be double had by giving more money. So complex these victims are. Thank for the brainstorm advice, any other suggestions are most welcomed.
(0)
Report
See 2 more replies
So he has an old flip phone.. somehow manage to "break it" and oh boy,, now we have to get a new one, with a new number.. hopefully he does not have the scammers number memorized,, and with a new number perhaps they will no longer be able to contact him. There are still flip phones out there if he only wants that kind.. like the Jitterbug that AARP advertises for? I would be all over "knocking it to the floor by accident and then tripping/stepping on it" Good luck with this!
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
jjwahl Dec 2019
sometimes he is so under my skin perturbing, I want to say he deserves it!
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
"He was screaming at me for not giving him money for the lotto scammers and they told me that it sounds like he is an addict and they sent him a letter about common scams"

Please do NOT EVER give him money.
Ever.

Because you KNOW how it will be used if you give him any.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
jjwahl Dec 2019
well, what should I do when its the weekend and he is out of lifesaving medication? I have bought it myself, otherwise I give him nothing. Great advise, thank you.
(1)
Report
See 2 more replies
If he is passing the tests, he is not going to be declared incompetent and made a ward of the state. If he gambles his money away, then he will have to face facts. It’s his money to lose and you can’t control if he is competent. Do not enable him.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
jjwahl Dec 2019
Thank you for your advice, well taken. I wish I never learned about this, he told me himself. I must admit that I can be a controlling person especially in situations like this. He better not sober up a broke old man and ask me why I didn't do anything to stop him! Do you think the courts may intervene somehow and mandate him to counseling? I just don't stop do I? I wonder if I will have legal issues for even bringing him to case, I do have DPOA and HIPPA papers..I could've read that there's no dementia issues, or talked to his Drs but was eager to stop him asap and didnt believe him when he said he passed.
(0)
Report
JJ, have you spoken to his primary care physician about this issue? There are some medications (primarily for Parkinson's) that can lead to uncontrollable gambling.

You need to sit him down and tell him that you will NOT be responsible for him if he loses all his money, that he will be a pauper and possibly become homeless if this continues. Put it in writing; get it notarized.

If he has a lawyer, take him to his lawyer and make a big deal of telling him in front of the lawyer that you are relinquishing your "obligations" as a dutiful child because of his addiction. Tell him that he will need to rely on his so-called "friends" to care for him because he will have no money for care.

I'm sorry that he's gotten caught up in this.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
jjwahl Dec 2019
that is a great idea!
(0)
Report
See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter