My dad, 88, moved in with my adult son and me about 3 months ago. I thought it would be temporary, but after he'd been here a week he abruptly decided he wasn't going back home. Now we're in the process of finding a place for everyone and their possessions.
My mom was a hoarder, and I was raised in a house packed to the ceiling with junk. So I have an aversion to clutter, especially when it involves useless items-expired tubes of ointment, stacks of coupons from 5 years ago, numerous cameras that are held together with rubber bands, etc. When I take Dad to his house to get items he wants to keep, that's the kind of things he shoves in his pockets-leaving behind priceless photos, important papers, and awards.
I'm tired of feeling mean because I don't want my house turned into the junk heap I grew up in. I've dealt with the expired meds and worthless paper, but he's digging in his feet at the idea of getting rid of things like the broken cameras and power cords to electronics that have been gone for years (like a Commodore computer).
Any suggestions on how to get Dad to give up some of this stuff?
It's your house; your rules.
Who's making the compromises in this situation? I would suggest that this is a two-way street; you're glad to have him, but not all his stuff. Nor can or will you allow it in your house.
You understand he wants it; if so, he can pay for a storage unit and it can be put there. His stuff, his money.
Perhaps gradually he'll forget about it and you can secretly start throwing it away.
But he can't have it both ways if he wants to live in YOUR house.
I had to smile as you wrote about what your parents had saved. It's due to be raised during the Great Depression, you saved everything because one couldn't afford anything new. My parents didn't hoard but there were things also held together with rubber bands that broke off due to age, or with cello tape that turned yellow. I tossed out an old IBM computer that Dad said if he had time he would fix.
Another writer on this website gave me an excellent idea. Swap out some of the things that my Mom had with items I could easily part with. Example, custard cups I am now using to hold paperclips where before I was using old candy tins, thus the tins either got donated or trashed.
Gosh, surprised your Dad can remember what stuff he had in the house. You could just say sorry you couldn't find it among everything else, but you will keep looking [as you are tossing it out]. I plan to call a liquidation company to come and get everything if the price is reasonable.
Good luck !!
I don't think you will ever get him to be happy about giving up his stuff, so your choice is to be the bad guy or to accept things as they are. Guess which one I would choose.