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Hi Lynn,

It sounds rough.

I go to a therapist when I can.

I got a gym membership to the YMCA and go there when I can.

I try to get together with friends when I can. I find the laughter really helps.
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Dear One, You have been dealing with a lot of stressful events on your own. That adds stress onto you that need not be. Please consider finding support group(s) for the type(s) of diseases your spouse has. The members of these groups understand and can give the best advice. Also take the time to find a primary care provider for yourself that you can trust to be yourself with. Make an appointment to get a good physical for yourself. Start doing things that nurture you (aka self care).
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My mother is 90 years old. I live with her and am her caregiver - Home Care comes once a week to give her a bath, which she complains about every time. I am SO unhappy and depressed and can’t stand being here any longer. I know she’s my mom and dementia isn’t her fault but all I want to do is run away - better yet, move her into a home. Our relationship is in ruins and my patience is pretty much gone. The constant bedding changes, diapering, monitoring her every move is just too much for me to handle and I’m a wreck. She’s having no fun either. A facility? Waiting lists and financially almost un-doable. I hate to say that I hope she dies soon. Terrible to say, I know, but that’s how I feel. Poor her AND poor me!
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My mother is 90 years old. I live with her and am her caregiver - Home Care comes once a week to give her a bath, which she complains about every time. I am SO unhappy and depressed and can’t stand being here any longer. I know she’s my mom and dementia isn’t her fault but all I want to do is run away - better yet, move her into a home. Our relationship is in ruins and my patience is pretty much gone. The constant bedding changes, diapering, monitoring her every move is just too much for me to handle and I’m a wreck. She’s having no fun either. A facility? Waiting lists and financially almost un-doable. I hate to say that I hope she dies soon. Terrible to say, I know, but that’s how I feel. Poor her AND poor me! I feel as if I have PTSD too and I don’t think that’s unusual given all the postings on here about caregiver burnout and depression.
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i think one can definitely get PTSD from caregiving. first, some LOs are extremely abusive. being treated terribly day after day will affect you, no matter how tough you are. similarly being around grumpy people all day, will affect you. second, some caregivers are pretty much slaves. of course SLAVERY will cause you to have PTSD.

i wish those who need healing, to heal. hug!!
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Lynn64, my issue is more of a phobia than PTSD. For me, I developed a phobia of driving that started when I was taking my parents all over hill and dale, for one thing or another.

Then the phobia accelerated when my Mom could no longer get into my vehicle and I had to use their car that they still had, which I always hated to drive. It was like steering a large dining room table down the highway. By the time I got to our destination, I was a nervous wreck, fighting back tears.

Eventually I mentioned this to my parents, and they just looked at me like my hair was on fire and said "who is going to drive us?". Mom refused to ride with a stranger so cabs and the senior bus were out.

My parents have passed but, to this day, I still white knuckle it when driving. My driving limit is just a few blocks. So sad, as I had loved to drive :(
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I was my Dad's sole caregiver and was eventually, after 3 years of Chronic Stress, ended up with a diagnosis of PTSD. Yes, you can, in fact, if you look it up, Chronic Stress Disorder, untreated can affect the brain to the point of running on empty, literally. Psychological, if done correctly, will require some medication to restore the brain activity (which I gladly did). I didn't care what the diagnosis, I just wanted to be able to cope without reliving it, physically, and mentally.
But to agree, C S D needs to be considered as it can eventually turn into something else. After being under persistent stress for 2 years, my father called me in the middle of the night telling me his (dead) father just threw him out of the house and he was crying, "Where am I goin to live?" Then, he didn't answer his phone for the rest of the night. I drove up the next day and he had packed his truck. I relived that so many times and became reactive. It's all connected, but caregivers need to let their doctors know they are caregivers. You'd be surprised at how many times they hear that. And a good doctor will respond. I just wish more caregivers would go to the doctor and inform then of their lifestyle before they get to the point where they can't.
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