How can I get across to my Mom that she is spending away all her savings on stuff?

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My mother started gambling back in the 1990’s while my father was still alive. My father tried everything, took her name off all bank accounts, cut up her atm card and her bank debit card. My mother was sneaky, before he took her name off the checking account, she started taking blank checks from the check book and taking the money out by writing a check to herself and cashing it. When he was in the hospital my mother called for a debit card and said there must be some mistake. She said her name must be on the account. She said her husband worked at the bank for 35 years. This was all true. So they sent her a debit card which she hid from my father. She always found a way to drain the account. After he died in 1998 she managed to drain ALL of the money he ever saved. She is 95 years old, still competent and still finds a way to gamble. She takes call a bus to the grocery store and they drop her off once a week from noon till 7pm. She shops for one hour and the rest of the time blows her money on the scratch off machines that they have in the grocery store. She’s competent. It’s her money. Nothing I can do to stop her according to the elder lawyer.

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Cetude, I agree with everything you said. My 95 year old mother is competent, always scheming and figuring out things. She does things slowly but everything she needs to do gets done. The only thing I was able to block her from doing was getting a motorized scooter to take on the sidewalk of the village to go to the gas station for the scratch off tickets. I called her doctor and told her what she was up to so luckily she was denied the scooter. She doesn’t drive anymore because she outlived her car. Her car died 3 years ago. The car was 20 years old. She couldn’t buy another car because she gambled all her savings away. So she takes call a bus once a week to gamble.

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Cetude, again I agree with you. I have POA of my mother and I cannot use it because she is competent. It is only to be used when she is incompetent. She’s never late on her bills, she pays all her bills on time, electric bill, phone bill, taxes, etc all get paid on time. She had her social security and half my fathers pension and she manages her own money. In fact, since she can’t drive anymore she can’t go to the casino anymore. She doesn’t go every single week to call a bus to the grocery store so she does have a little bit saved in her checking account. She had put my name on it but I have never used it for withdrawals. I have only used it to deposit checks she has gotten. Since she doesn’t have easy access to gambling, she has been able to save a little money.

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I am in the same situation but when I had bills mailed to my address, changed her credit card to a very minimum amount, had access to the bank records she pulled the POA and Will from me and gave it to my adopted brother. She has dementia but the Lawyer let her change the paper work.

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You didn't say how old your mother was. Unfortunately a POA does not give you control over your mother, it is so that you can assist her. If she doesn't agree with what you're doing, you may risk her removing you as POA, and that will be tragic, if she were to need you to help in the future, maybe when she becomes incapacitated. I would give her back her accounts, and her bills and let her take care of them. If the utilities get turned off, they get turned off. Hopefully, she will end up coming back and ask for your help. Then, I would take her to the bank and let them know that two signatures are needed for counter withdrawals. Some banks have "senior" safeguards for situations like this. You can also get the bank to alert you when withdrawls are taken and debit cards are used. Tell them to not allow withdrawals over a certain amount. Now, this may get your mother upset, so make sure you explain to her that you need to make sure you save as much funds as possible in case she needs help later.

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How can I get across to my Mom that she is spending away all her savings on stuff?

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