My brother lives with my husband and myself. He's 66 has dementia and right side paralysis due to a TBI from 1979. He makes all his own decisions. He does not require a guardian and we want to keep it that way as long as possible. We have siblings in other states but no one close. Brother goes to VA for all medical care. He has no service connected disabilities. I am 68 and in good health but am looking ahead. If something were to happen to me there is no plan in place to help him or my husband with him. Hubby absolutely cannot take care of him. Brother requires 24 hour supervision and guidance. I am contacting AAA in a few days to once again inquire about a contingency plan. The VA told me yesterday that if all else fails, hubby could take him to an ER and refuse to take him back with him explaining that he can't provide the care brother needs. VA rep said hubby might have to be firm. It's a plan but not what I had in mind.
Can someone help me with how I can approach this conversation with AAA? Is there such a thing?
And I apologize if I have posed this question in the wrong category. If it needs to be moved, please do so.
Thank you all for your help.
Aid And Attendance?
Or, Area Agency on Aging?
Neither of those will be helpful.
Get him assessed for LTC by a doctor. Then I would find a good, local LTC facility that accepts Medicaid and get him in on private pay until he is a few months away from running out of all his money (except about $2k, but this varies by state). Then apply for Medicaid for him (you don't need to be his PoA or guardian). Once on Medicaid he will receive all the same care at the same facility.
If he already doesn't have the money then you may still be able to get him on a waiting list in a good quality facility. Look for faith-based ones (in my personal experience they give better care).
If you leave him in the ER he will most certainly go to a county-run Medicaid facility and they are mostly not good quality.