I am slowly going through my childhood home and packing mom and dads clothes etc and taking them to charity.
My wife wants to keep the house and rent it. The house has not been updated in 40 years so it is dated, at first I was all for renting it since I could then hold on to my childhood home.
I started to figure up how much rent we could get without updating the house and it would take 20+ years of renting it to get what I could just sell it for now that is not even counting anything that would break in the 20+ years of renting it not to mention all the headaches that come from renters that I would have to deal with myself, I handle all the financial stuff.
We do not have any kids or any other family to leave it to so I want to sell it, take the money and invest it for our retirement we are in our early 40s so that would be 20+ years of interest as we already have investments in stocks etc. We also already own a home that is paid for.
I'm sure other people here can relate to going through your mom and dads clothes by yourself packing them up it is not easy, I come across clothes that I remember them wearing it just makes you sick to your stomach.
My wife of 20 years is not being supportive. I am packing up all there stuff on my own in there empty house. I have gotten her over to mom/dads a few times but she just wants to keep everything she just tells me it's strange with them not being here she just kind of shuts down.
I already have someone that wants to buy the house! We have been paying tax, power bills for months on a empty house. I do hate to see it go but I think it's the best choice.
I have to give my wife credit, she did take care of dad a few days at the end. He has been gone for 7 months mom has been gone for 5 years.
Anyone else a only child that can relate?
Thanks for listening/reading this forum is kind.
If her name is not on the deed then in reality she has no say in what you do with the house.
Also if it was left to you, she has little to say in what happens to it.
I think if she sat down with a realtor and understood what is involved with being a landlord and the risks involved she would see that selling is the best option.
Please make sure that the sale that you have lined up is Fair Market Value.
Obviously your other option is to sell your other house and move into your childhood home and renovate if you wish.
If you are taking votes…put me in the sell the older, outdated house column
I an sorry your wife is not being supportive. It really is your decision. I hope this does not drive a wedge between the two of you. Your post really shows you want to sell and if you have an interested buyer that is fortunate for you. Good luck with what happens.
I am not suggesting you are looking via a cold-hearted business mind - no, no. Just that you can separate the emotional loss of your childhood home from the actual building that stands before you.
Would your wife be open to a kindly suggestion for some counselling around this issue? To me it sounds like she may need a little help with this emotional adjustment - and that's OK!
If not, would taking photos of items help? Making a memory book? Selecting only say 6 objects that truly bring the best memories? Kind of KonMari style.. keep a few, thank the rest & let them go. Sounds silly but I fully intend to thank this house when I move. I have many fond memories of things that happened here within these walls - but they will live on in my mind, I don't need to keep the actual walls.
Tell her you're sorry but you really want to sell and just be done with it. Ask her what will make this easier for her. She might not know but show an interest in her feelings about this. But go ahead and sell!
I am an only child too so it was hard for me to donate my father's clothes after he died. I saved quite a lot of them and my step daughter took 6 or 7 shirts home with her when she was here visiting, unbeknownst to me. She had stuffed animals made with dad's shirts in patches and sent them to me! An elephant, a bear and a dog. Once I had those mementos of dad, I was able to donate the rest of his clothing without a problem. Maybe you can do something similar with your parents clothes to keep their memory alive thru pieces of their clothing you fondly remember them wearing.
Wishing you the best of luck
Tenants have rights and they are favored by the courts. So even though you own the house, you can not just kick them out, no matter what they are doing or not doing, like paying rent. Thousands of landlords are scrambling to make ends meet right now because they couldn't evict anyone for any reason, yet all of their expenses continued. It takes months to get someone out, at your expense.
Everything that breaks or needs maintenance is at your expense. The law governs how quickly it needs to be dealt with.
You still need to carry fire insurance and pay property taxes. So that comes right off the top of rent received. Along with all maintenance and repair.
Some tenants gripe about everything, anything and nothing.
An outdated house may not get quality renters, so you will be dealing with issues all the time. Neighbors being angry because of what your tenants are doing will be calling you as the owner.
Renters that get evicted tend to tear the place up and it takes time and money to get it rentable again.
We had a house that was in a gated community, high rent district and the people let their animals use the brand new carpet as a toilet. Fortunately, we had required pet insurance and a huge deposit but, we couldn't rent the house until all the carpet was replaced. It was 2 months with no tenants, which meant a vacant property insurance rider that cost hundreds monthly. Not even mentioning that they were constantly violating the HOA rules and we were notified as the owners.
Oh, we bought this house and the prior renters had stolen everything that wasn't part of the structure, right down to the light switch covers, door knobs, carpet, padding, bathtub fixtures, toilets, counters, cabinets and everything else. No recourse for the prior owners, so they sold, they couldn't afford the 60k to replace everything that had been stolen.
Tell her from me, you don't have any idea what a burr in your butt is until you have been a landlord and it has to be a money maker to make it worth the trouble and one outdated house is not a money maker. We were happy campers when we were able to sell that place.
There are easier ways to increase your monthly income.
In case it comes to it. Inheritance is NOT community property, unless you place the money in a joint account. From a legal stand, she doesn't actually have any say because it is your sole and separate property.
Right now you have someone willing to buy it as is. Get an assessor in there to see what it is worth "as is". Then sell it . I, personally, would not take this on.
There was minimal talk of renting our current home, and loving our neighbors as we do--it was not even an issue. Renters will ruin a house in a hot minute. We're selling to our nephew and his wife. A new young family!
Letting emotions run the deal is a very bad idea. This is not your wife's home, it was yours. It's actually sweet that she cares so much, means she has good memories and that is wonderful. When my MIL dies, I probably won't ever go back into that house.
Change is hard, and the older we get, the harder it is. I am really struggling with a resurgence of the depression/anxiety than has dogged me for years. Everyday is a challenge.
Some people are OK with being landlords--my daughter is one, so is my nephew...and they have a VERY high tolerance for their renters and the ensuing problems. My sister has had 3 suicides in her places (they're basically slums) and that adds a whole other level of drama. I couldn't bear it.
I have flower bulbs that came from MY grandmother's yard and after they bloom in Spring, I will dig them up to plant at my new house. I'm not overly sentimental, but these mean a lot to me.
Don't do a ton of work on the house--our new one only has to be 'broom clean' and we are actually NOT allowed to do any touch up painting or anything besides deep cleaning.
Good Luck--my heart feels for you.
I had to comment when I saw your post about the flower bulb from your grandmother's place.
I have rhubarb from my childhood home. It is over 55 years old and when my parents built a new house when I was 11, I insisted that we bring a clump of the rhubarb. When I bought my house in 1997, I asked Mum for a clump of the rhubarb.
I have already moved a clump of it to the property where I hope to retire to in 5 years.
What makes it special? I have never seen another rhubarb plant with such large stalks and leaves. The stalks are green and up to 2 inches in diameter and always tender. The plant is well over 2M in diameter. I can harvest from early spring right through to fall.
I would also keep the money from the sale in a separate account in your name only. Once you co-mingle community property and inheritances, it all becomes community property.
My brother and I have recently inherited my parents' house and we plan to sell it. My husband, who has decided he's now a real estate mogul is disgusted that we aren't keeping it and renting it for $7k/month. Mind you, it's a 90-year-old house with one electric socket per room, a kitchen last updated in 1969, and two broken chimneys that were damaged and remain unrepaired since an earthquake in 1988.
No one in their right mind would pay $7,000 per month to rent it, and we're not interested in being landlords nor spending around $300,000 to fix it up. Fortunately, my husband can rant and rave all he wants -- he does not own the house, nor does he get a say. Neither does your wife.
So i do feel like i am being rushed. In a way it's good because it is motivation to push through.
Family members wanted to buy the house for about 30 seconds until I said, " I am here to help my parents. You'll have to pay market price. It's not negotiable."
Make sure you get the home appraised before you sell the home to the interested party.
Keeping the house is a viable plan if your market research says rentals in that area are going for a lot. If you use the equity loan to fix and rent it, that could be the best investment ever. People always need a place to live but the stock market is fickle. Ask yourself whether your monthly return on the purchase of stocks would be more than your return on a rental. Also, which one has the greater risk of loss? In many places, people pay more in rent than it would cost to pay a mortgage and taxes and insurance. If you are renting yourself, you might move in to the house and fix it up and save your rent money. If you own, you might rent your house and move into your parents for a year or so and fix it up.
For a relatively small fee you can hire a management company to deal with the tenants so you don’t have to. Owning rental property gives you additional tax deductions and it’s an asset you can borrow against in the future if you need to, possibly even to buy another house.
I know it’s a hard decision but you are young and you need to think about your financial future. Your wife has a valid point and you should seriously investigate your options before you rush to sell. You might regret it later. Best wishes.
I say you should give your wife her share if what would need to be done to rent it out and go for it, use it as a rental and if it doesn't work out, you can always sell it.
Realestate is about the best investment you can make.
You can also do a little fixing up a little at a time.
The best real estate investment is one where you buy into a brand new development before the houses are even built. Then hang onto the house for 10-15 years. Then move into that rental property for a couple of years before selling so it becomes a "primary" residence and not an "investment" property. A CPA can explain more.
It is not unusual for someone to purchase a previously owned home near the top of market, only to find themselves trying to sell when the market had corrected itself, only to sell for what they paid for the house. That happened to me.
When I cleaned out my parents apartment, I intentionally tried to to donate or give away most of their things. It made me feel good that I was re-purposing their "stuff" and clothing. I kept many things for myself too - but in the end, it's not the stuff but the memories that are always in your heart and life does go on.
My condolences and warmest wishes for a positive outcome.
Accordingly, decisions regarding your inheritance should be yours alone. You need not consult your wife or evaluate the quality of any unsolicited advice she forces on you.
She may think she knows how you feel, or how she believes you feel, but only you know how you feel
The correct answer is not just based on financials, you may want to separate from this past chapter emotionally, in order to achieve your best future.
Do what YOU want and don’t accept anyone else’s input (including advice from strangers on this forum).
That way, in the end, you will only have yourself to thank (or blame) for the decision.
Perhaps that house is someone's dream house waiting for a renewal.
Did you know you can get purple heart to come pick up the donated items? If you have a lot, you can call them and they will have a truck and more people will come to load it.
I know it is so hard to deal with. But you are stronger than you know. There are businesses that will come help you clean it out. Not just take it to the dump, but help you sort and do what you want with the items.
My parents were hoarders in the end, so luckily I found a company that helped me. You must be there and supervise. Don't let them go off and work on separate rooms.
I have a sublingual that refused to help at all but wants to control and block everything.
I am really sorry your wife is shutting down. That is not helpful at all. Id have a coming to jesus moment with her, that is not being a good partner. It is so stressful and you need help. It is overwhelming for you not her. I'd remind her of that. But I'd hire help if you can. It will go so much faster that way. Or have a company come in and auction it. Altho I had 2 very bad experiences with that. I didn't go that way, and they are greedy. You can put some items for sale on Facebook marketplace, and offer up. Sold quite a few items on there.
Do not have them meet you at parent's house. I had better luck having them meeting me at entrance to my development. That way if they don't show, you didn't waste an hour loading, driving it to a public place. I had a lot of no shows when I'd meet at public place.
I know there was some days I didn't want to get out of bed. I still don't some days. I went and got Sam- e and that helped a lot.
Kenchanting on here and venting. I feel your pain.
Gold luck.
Caring for a rental property is a big responsibility and costs more than you think and nets you less than you thought it would. Renters rights are on the rise, landlord rights are on the decline. Getting rid of unwanted tenants is very difficult and very expensive. You do not want that headache. Sell it to somebody who has no emotional stake in the property. They will deal with it better than you could. Every time I have rented out a home I have ended up promising myself that I will never do it again.
Now, do a chart showing how much money you would make [if any] if the house was kept as an "investment" and having tenants. Being a landlord is like having a business. There are profit and losses. Real estate market has it highs and lows, just like the stock market.
For myself, back decades ago I had excellent tenants for my properties, I went through a Realtor. The tenants were vetted, etc. I even allowed pets. As part of their rent, I paid for lawn service.
If your wife wants the house as a rental, is she willing to do the spreadsheets for income and expenses? I hired a CPA to do my income taxes, as it was complex. Is your wife willing to field the calls from the tenants, this is not a 9 to 5 M-F job.
Is she willing to go over to the house to fix things? Ready to wheel and deal for new items the house will need? Does she know any good roofers? Plumbers? Electricians? Is she willing to pay real estate taxes, higher homeowner's insurance/umbrella policy? Purchase new carpet between tenants? Understand in the Lease regarding "normal wear and tear".
Let us know what happens.