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My mom is 80 and has Alzheimer's. She is starting to not recognize my father and trying to leave. The local memory care wants to meet with her before going forward, how do we get her to go to the meeting? She knows she has memory issues, but refuses to admit what the problem is and that it is getting worse. She gets very stubborn when you try and get her to do something she doesn't want to do and thinks people are plotting against her

She is not able to make a decision. Her brain is broken. Unfortunately, that’s our job, now.

The wellness director at my mother’s MC came out to her and did the interview that way. My mother wasn’t told the company that she represented.

Just as you wouldn’t give every bit of info to a small child, we can’t give it to a person living with dementia.
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Reply to cxmoody
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My daddy had a bad fall and was in the hospital and I had to move him from the hospital to the resident facility. I told my daddy that until the doctor released him he could not come home. My suggestion is this: take her on an outing, get her tired, then have the person that is going to evaluate her meet you at a restaurant, park, or you can say you are going to this place to visit a friend DO NOT TELL HER IT IS A MEMORY CARE PLACE. This will freak her out and she WILL resist. You need to tell therapeutic statements, these statements are to help her and you. It helps with getting the patient to do what is going to be best for them even though they cannot comprehend it. Blessings and prayers for you at this time.
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Reply to Ohwow323
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If she will not go, and you cannot make some sort of mock "We are going to lunch and then to meet my friends" then I don't see how you can "make" her go.
I would discuss with the memory care place. Generally people entering memory care are "interviewed" to see if they are manageable. If they don't "show for the interview" there may be some cherry picking of residents more amenable to going into care.

So TRY HARD. What I would suggest is that you tell Mom "We are going to a place I am thinking of moving to. Would you come to help me look around? I have to have an interview there".

From there it is, as with all things "dementia" a case of "expect the unexpected".
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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