Follow
Share

I have durable power of attorney and iam the executor of my mother's will my brother hasn't seen or talked to my parents for twenty seven years just moved away and that was that. I have been talking care of my parents for over twenty years after many illnesses. There probably won't be any of there money left after my mother's death because of the cost of the care that she's getting now and of my dad's care at the end of his life. Everything according to there will goes to me house and everything else except for half of there money which won't be much .Do I have to give him money even though he has done nothing and left me with everything. Just doesn't seem fair if I do what do you all think

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I addition, There can be codicil to will that leaves $1 to him that shows acknowledgment of him
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

No …I wouldn’t even tell him when they pass away. He’s officially estranged from family. However, protect yourself by letting lawyer you & parents have for Wills & any other important documents, know about this.Hugs 🤗
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If the money is in joint accounts or in payable on death accounts, it won't go to the estate but directly to you after your mother's death.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You execute the will acc to the desires of you parents. Period. Feelings don't enter in to it.

It sticks in the craw to write a check to a person who has chosen to be vacant for whatever reason. But you have to be very transparent about dividing things up.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

The answer is easy. Yes he's entitled to the money. It's your mother's will, not your will.

I have a male friend who was in the same situation. Sister did nothing; estranged for years. My friend still split it correctly, according to the will, but he had bitter feelings, too, against the sister. The right thing would have been for his sister to say "no thanks", but of course she didn't. Selfish, non-helping, entitled-attitude sister.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report
CaregiverL May 2023
God will even things out in end, I believe.
(0)
Report
You do not have to give him anything because you state the will leaves it all to you. You are also entitled to an executrix fee which is usually a certain percentage of the estate should there be anything left.

I could be wrong but I read your post with the understanding you were left everything in the will
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Countrymouse May 2023
The OP states that the will leaves the OP the house "...and everything else except for half of there money which won't be much."

The brother is therefore entitled to half of not much money. But he is still entitled to it.
(3)
Report
You are obligated to follow the will… it’s your loved one wishes. You cannot change that. I’m sure your brother will feel cheated because you get half the money and the house….
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

According to the Will he inherits half the money remaining after the estate is settled.
The time to address this is before mom dies and if she wishes she can change the will ONLY IF SHE IS COGNIZANT.
"You" are not giving him half the money your parents are, you are carrying out their wishes, those instructions left in the Will.
I would be more concerned about the house and how it is passed to you. I hope that an Elder Law Attorney or one that is well versed in Family / Estate law has set this up. If not I would pay a visit to one to be sure that there are no problems or financial aspects that you have to worry about.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report
gladimhere Apr 2023
If Medicaid/MediCal is paying for dad's long term care the situation is no longer an estate issue. It is elder law attorney issue.
(3)
Report
See 1 more reply
Are you on the deed to the house?
Speak with an elder law attorney about how inheriting the house may be effected it they need Medicaid or MediCal for their care. Laws vary by state.

And also keep in mind if the house is sold before they pass this does increase cash available for their care, and still half brother's should they pass before all the money is spent.

And MediCal, if needed, will place a lien on the house that will be paid on sale.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Horribly sorry to personally be well versed in your situation.

Nothing in my sad situation or yours, is based on “fairness”. It is TOTALLY based on LAW.

If managing and providing your LO’s care has overwhelmed you and depleted your personal physical and emotional resources you may legally say “I cannot do this any more”, and pay for help to provide her care, or if your mother’s status warrants, residential placement, but HER debts must be paid for from HER resources, and that means that if HER house is in HER name ONLY, and her cash resources are spent for her care, the house will need to be sold to pay for her needs when her money is gone.

The TWO SAVING GRACES in my personal situation were that in spite of her terrible treatment of me, I loved her dearly and had fond memories of HER KINDNESS and COMPASSION before she’d begun to suffer the symptoms of dementia, and also, the fact that by the time she’d begun to fail, both of her responsible parties KNEW without question, that she could NOT live in the only home she’d ever known, because of safe inaccessibility of the only bathroom in the house.

What I think or you think has nothing to do with the law. It will only hurt you more if you continue to focus on fair/unfair.

Focus instead on how you can lighten YOUR burden right now. Hire help, find a beautiful nearby residence, whatever it takes.

YOU need help and consolation. Focus some attention right now on what you need to be more comfortable and peaceful, and aim for that.

YOU are worth it.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

If the will states that your brother gets half of any money, then you as executor are absolutely bound by law to ensure he gets it. If you don't like it there are ways to resign your executorship; but you do NOT have the option to vary the will.

Perhaps you can console yourself that there won't be much.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Yes. If the will says to give him half of whatever, the executor has no legal authority to do otherwise.

Note that some assets don’t pass through a will:
Joint accounts generally pass to co-owners.
Accounts with specified pay on death beneficiaries pass to those beneficiaries.
Items owned through a trust pass as directed in the trust.

So it can be a problem paying someone’s final expenses if there isn’t any money for the executor to work with. You have to understand whether the person would want to cheat their creditors, and what legal rights the creditors have. Watch out for Medicaid or other liens on property that is in their name(s).

Gifting time and money to your parents doesn’t make it OK to steal it back from your brother. Once you give it away, it isn’t yours anymore. If you think you might be conflicted, it would be better to stop paying any of their expenses from your own money, pay yourself or substitute paid assistance or convenience products where possible, and use the parent’s money to prepay final expenses until there is little or none left to be an issue.

I wish you well in honorably navigating through “fair” and “legal.”
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Fair just doesn't count under the law, VickieLee. The law is the law. And the law dictates that the Executor of the final testament will follow the dictates of the law. So you, as executor will have to do that. Now, your parent--your Mother--is still living, as I understand it. If she is competent still to make her own legal decisions, and she wishes to change her will, she certainly can do that. But if she is no longer competent then she cannot.

You observe that there will likely be little left, so simply distribute it as directed under the law. You do know that as executor you can claim payment to settle the will also? So you can spend on a good attorney, and etc., have a beautiful funeral for your Mom.

I do wish you the best, and the best of luck with taking good care of your mom in the last years of her life. Recognize that you are the lucky sibling, even in hard times.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Yes, as POA you are to carry out their wishes, not yours.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report
MJ1929 May 2023
POA ends at death. It's her role as executor that's in play here, and she must do exactly as the will stipulates.
(1)
Report
You are required to give him whatever the will states as it is a legal document. If you have been caring for them and not getting paid, you should start paying yourself for their care.

Too many people think they are owed or entitled to more of an inheritance because they provided care. That is never the case as you must legally do whatever the will states. Too many people also don't get pay when they provide care, which is why they think they are entitled to more.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

As executor, you are bound by law to carry out the terms of their valid will. You have no choice,
Helpful Answer (6)
Report

If the will says your brother gets 1/2 of the money , then that’s what he gets. Unless your mother is competent and draws up a new will leaving it all to you .

Wills are written all the time that families don’t think are fair for one reason or another .

Have you prepaid for your mothers funeral with her money ? Also any of her remaining bills for her care will need to be paid after her death . Some states charge inheritance tax . But that may not apply if it’s a small amount of money left. When the estate is settled , and bills all paid your brother will get 1/2 of the money that is left . Like you said there may not be any left anyway .
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

No I don't think your brother deserves money from them but I am confused by the statement that everything goes to you except half.

Since you have a will that is your guideline. If half of their estate is mentioned in the will as going to your brother then if your parents are of sound mind a new will should be made.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter