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I'm 47, live at home and I do everything in the house. My mom isn't very mobile because of her back and spends most of her time on the couch. She refuses to take care of her health, and it's never her fault. My dad does do things, like goes to the store, but he doesn't help much. I'm in therapy to deal with them and my situation. My parents are 66 and 75. I'm just so done that I want to run away.

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There's a lot of people out there w/ back problems who work, function, etc. At 66 she's still relatively young. Maybe she needs physical therapy and support to help get her moving and then you will be better able to focus on yourself and your own needs.
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Reply to Nan333
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One step at a time. Social Security disability takes time. Have you been to your local Social Service office. If you can prove a disability, you may be able to get Social Supplimental insurance (SSI) and that comes with Medicaid for health. That will give you some income. While there ask about housing and other resource you may be entitled to.

Social Security Disability you can apply for at Social Services. You maybe turned down the first time. This is when you get a SS lawyer. They get paid from the retro money you receive. This covers from the time you apply till you receive SSD. I think retro only goes a year now.

Once you receive SSD you get Medicare. If you plan to go out on your own, you may be able to get SSI too. There is HUD housing that requires 30% of your monthly income. You can get food stamps. There are food closets. We have Phiabundance where I live. You can live on your own and check in on Mom and Dad. Time for Dad to take on some of the caregiving.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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SchalaMagus, you should have "run away" like 20+ years ago instead of staying stuck in a dead end situation.
Why didn't you move out and spread your wings in your 20's like most people do? It's not too late to do that now, and I hope you'll find the courage to do just that.
Your parents are grown a$$ adults and have chosen the lifestyle they're living, so quit enabling them and just let them be. If your mom doesn't care about her health that's on her not you. Your dad will just have to step up and deal with things. And if they can't physically do much for themselves anymore then they'll just have to hire someone to come do it for them like the rest of us have to do.
66 is not old nor is 75. I am 67 and am far from being old, so time for you to spread your wings and fly right out of your parents coup.
And if your therpist hasn't already told you that, fire them and find a new one who'll be upfront and honest with you.

I just read your responses below where you say you're "disabled" and you can't work because of "mental health issues" yet at 47 you've never applied for disability and are wanting to now. What's taken you so long?
And just FYI, there are millions of disabled folks who still are able to work at least part-time and provide for themselves, so I'm not sure if you're just using your supposed disability as an excuse not to work or not to get on with living this one life you've been given, but only you can change that.
What are you going to do when your parents die? How will you fend for yourself then?
It sounds to me like you've never had the kind of parents to encourage you to get out there in the real world and do your best despite any "disabilities" you may have, and that is sad, and for that I am sorry.
We are ALL stronger than we realize and are ALL capable of great things if we apply ourselves, and quit making excuses as to why we can't do things.
I hope and pray that you'll find the strength and courage to make the changes necessary in your life so you can again get on with living and enjoying this one life you've been given.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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Does your therapist suggest you move out? Honestly, this would be the one thing that would 100% save your sanity (and boundaries after you move out).

Your parents are full-grown adults fully capable of taking care of themselves. They have gotten comfy with the one-way arrangement.

You aren't responsible for their happiness. You have your own life to live before it's too late. Move out and don't provide any more care for them... you've done your tour of duty. Let them figure out their own care from now on. I wish you clarity, wisdom and peace in your heart as you make fruitful changes.
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Reply to Geaton777
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SchalaMagus 15 hours ago
No. Right now, I'm unable to(I have no income) I'm applying for SSI so I'll have something I can support myself with. I want to move out, but I'm worried that Mom won't get the care she needs. She refuses to let a in home care nurse in the house. She got mad when I let one in while she was napping. I'm torn, but I want to live my own life.
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Are you in therapy and under intensive psychiatric care? There are inpatient facilities for most kinds of mental health issues, and medications that can make a huge difference. So don't give up on yourself. You should be able to get some accommodations under disability and employment law.
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Reply to MG8522
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SchalaMagus 16 hours ago
I'm in therapy and I see a psychiatrist for my various issues. My psychiatrist suggested that I go to therapy to help me because I'm at my wit's end with them. My sarcasm and disdain comes out more often which I don't like but I need an outlet. My therapist said it's like I'm raising my parents. That's how I feel. Thank you for your kind words.
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I'm disabled. I can't work because of mental health issues. I'm basically stuck, and have been for a looong time.
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Why are you living at home with your parents at 47??? Moving out would solve all of your problems with burnout!
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