Mom is filling out and sending money to sweepstakes in the mail. She insists that "someone has to win" and REFUSES to believe that they are scams. I've tried to reason with her, but it didn't work. I'm terrified. What should I do?that they are scams. I have 1. Tried to reason with her. Didn't work. 2. Went down to the post office and asked to get her mail redirected here (so I could trash the ones she wants to send money to). I did tell her I did it to help cut down on her junk mail.
At the time, she was okay with it. This was only last week. Today she came over my house and said she went to the post office to get it all delivered to her house again.
I am terrified. She used to believe they were scams but now "likes doing it." She has money in the bank and I don't want those predators to take it. What should I do?
Getting her mail stopped her from writing all the checks, but these vultures call her, and she donates on her credit card. In the last few weeks, I've started calling all the shady ones and changing her contact info in the database, so if they call, they'll get me. I've also reduced the amount, and in some cases, cancelled regular donations altogether.
My mother does have causes, and for those that are legit, I'm keeping. But the shady ones? No way. It's a LOT of work, trying to stay one step ahead of someone with dementia, not to mention the scams.
Maybe if Mom or Dad understood that their donation check is paying for that mega mansion and fancy cars of the executives, Mom or Dad won't donate to that group anymore.
BTW, NO legit sweepstakes requires money or purchase up front.
Write your congressperson and ask that bulk mail from a non-US source be subject to a major fee for delivering to a US address.
I would try to intercept the outgoing mail and file it as evidence.
I have asked all the charitable solicitors that call me how much of what they collect goes to the actual charity. After awhile I stopped getting those calls. Some of the call center people were surprised when they asked their supervisors and found out that it is usually very small.
Some charities she gives regular monthly credit card donations to, and they STILL call her, requesting a "one-time donation" -- which drives me crazy, because they know full well that she's not aware she's already donating monthly. She'll go ahead and make a rather hefty "one-time donation". ARGH. I've begun to call these charities too, legit or not, and am changing her phone number to mine in their database. And sometimes I'm stopping the regular donations, even if the charity is legit. They take advantage, they lose a donor.
drowndinginmail.wordpress
The biggest things we did were changing her address to mine (I'm not in the same city) getting Power of Attorney to get her bank account under control and put a stop on the checks she sent out. I have been at it for 9 months and have got it down to about 20 pieces a week.
Sign her up for DMA Choice today. That will stop some of it. If you have a smart phone get the PaperKarma app. Every time you visit use the app and take photos of her mail. Or you could go full ninja, change her address again, and put harmless mail in her mailbox.
You can block her from using Western Union
drowndinginmail.wordpress014/09/25/drowning-in-junk-mail-how-to-block-a-loved-one-from-using-western-union/
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/stop-junk-mail-174488.htm?cpage=0&post=1&cm=425592&z=1#425592
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If you know the groups who she sends money to, call them to get her off their list. Find out who their direct marketing firm is and contact them too. There are ways to go around her with out her knowing.
I started going on the BBB website and printing out the bad charities reports and letting her see them, and news stories online about the fake sweeps. I did convince her, I think.
This is the link to get her off their mailing list:directmail/directory/mail_preference/Default.aspx
If you want more charity reports go to Charity Navigator.charitynavigator.org/
http://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0262-stopping-unsolicited-mail-phone-calls-and-email
She has very little money but she is spending enough of that little to get her overdrawn often.
This is what we have done so far:
--put my niece on her accounts as joint accounts
--moved most of the remaining money into a savings account she doesn't know about
--the staff where she lives is working hard to keep her from sending money off, including trying to intercept her in-coming and out-going mail, and keeping her from buying stamps. They are holding the mail for my brother
--my brother, my husband, and I all have POA
--my brother takes her shopping and keeps her credit card
--when he visits he regularly sweeps her house for mail & throws it out
--I've filed do not mail for caregivers and deceased people for both my mom & dad
But there are signs of addiction and we just don't know what to do. The staff at where she lives says she hangs out in the mail room, so they often can;t grab her mail. She watches for people she doesn't know to buy stamps from. She has stopped recording checks. Sometimes she sends cash to these people. She has also sent blank checks (w4e caught at least one of these).
When we have tried to intervene, she denies she sends any of this stuff out. Several staff people at her facility have told her these are scams and used some of the scare tactics mentioned her, but she says she can tell what's a scam.
Many of the suggestions you folks have made are great and I'll be trying them. But any other ideas? I hate feeling like she's become both paranoid and addictive.
Close her checking account. Get hold of and shred the remaining checks.