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I would start with UTI check. Then go to a geriatric neurologist or geriatric psychiatrist. She doesn't need sleeping meds, she needs antipsychotics. When my mom was in that stage, they gave her Seroquel. It didn't make all of the delusions go away, but it did make it more bareable.

Also, validation doesn't always mean agreeing, it just means acknowledging her feelings. "Mama, I know you want me to show high morals. I promise you I am...." See if that helps. "Mama I can see that you are upset and scared, how about we lock the dead bolt and have cocoa and cookies together."

This is such a tough stage to go through...my heart aches for you and for your mom. Try different strategies. Read and watch techniques by Teepa Snow and Naomi Feil. My mom hasn't been able to walk for several years. I always say is was the Lord's gift to me ;-). I, too, would have been spending a lot of time chasing down the street. The best thing I can tell you is that this too shall pass.
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liverlips486, have your Mother tested for an Urinary Tract Infection as such an infection in an elder can cause hallucinations and delusions. Antibiotics help the infection.

My Dad had that issue. He was seeing ants on the wall and in his food. His caregiver took Dad to the urgent care to have a UTI test, sure enough that was the problem. Once the meds started to kick in, the ants went away. Whew.
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It is ridiculous that the doctor won't give her anything to comfort and relax her and give you some respite. If your mother's pulse is too low there are medications that might elevate it- or the physician can see if she has other meds that are making it low and change them. Why is it so low? I don't know her other medical conditions, but it seems to me that with her constant hallucinations and delusions there is a risk for any number of issues ( including physical combativeness against you or your imaginary boyfriend). I would visit a geriatric psychiatrist and a neurologist and have them consult with her primary care physician on the best plan of care involving medication.
If that physician were in your shoes, she/he might think differently. You're situation is not sustainable. This is no life for either of you
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Oh, lips! I am so sorry. I can only imagine how upsetting this feels to your Mom AND how it wears on you night after night. Have y'all tried melatonin or magnesium? Has she been checked for UTI?
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