They move her 4 times in 4months. My mother does not like having a roommate and when they come in to take care of the roommate she gets angry and tell the worker to get out of her apartment. My mother had started arguing with the roommate and they had to move the roommate for safety. Another time she always said her roommate did not like her and hit her. Each time this happens the social worker moves her to another unit. She is very argument . She has CHF, I ask if she could be place on a med to help her. Nothing never happen with that. I am afraid they might tell me to take her out. I can not take care of her myself with my disability. My mother on Medicare and Medicaid I can not afford a private room.
She also needs to be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist to determine what kind of meds will help her. Some of them have serious side effects but the improvement outweighs the risk. If the facility isn't making these arrangements, you need to talk to the director and find out why. Taking her out to an office visit is not an option. She needs to be evaluated right where she is and where her behaviors occur.
My mother was exactly the same. She could be pretty wild. She went on a wait list for a private room in the secure dementia unit. Those are hard to come by, but eventually one opened up and that's where she's been for a while now. She won't be moved again until she passes away. Risperidone also was a big help with the anger and paranoia that makes someone be combative.
Is your mother receiving any medication that might help her behavior? Perhaps something for agitation? Has a doctor at least considered this? Sometimes nothing helps, and you don't want to turn your mom into a drugged zombie. But especially in cases like this I think it is important to at least do some experimenting to see if anything will help. Treating the CHF is probably more dietary and perhaps a water pill. Are you sure they aren't watching her salt intake and monitoring her weight carefully? It is the dementia rather than the CHF that would be my first concern.
Do you think she would do better in a private room? I just tonight heard of a Private Room Waiver under Medicaid. I don't know much about it, but it seems to me if anyone would qualify as needed it for their well-being, it would be your mother (and her roommates!). Maybe that would be something to look in to.
If this nursing home decides they cannot care for your mother, they will have to help you find a better fit for her. You will NOT have to bring her home. One possibility is a dementia unit.
Your mother's argumentative behavior is not a true reflection of who she is. Dementia causes this. Continue to love her and see that she is treated with respect.
Come back and tell us what is going on.