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THE OP's GRANDMOTHER HAS PASSED AWAY:

www.agingcare.com/questions/i-didnt-get-to-see-her-before-she-passed-on-435936.htm
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My heart goes out to you. I hope you can get there on time. Long story short from experience, you might want to try to Facetime with her in case she passes before you get there. You will be glad you did in case you don't make it there on time and hearing from you might be the closure she needs.
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Missionmorgan
I am so sorry to read about your Grandmother.

I was raised in the Pentecostal faith. My great-grandmother was a minister and other family members too.

I only tell you this because from the time I can remember, we always helped members by sitting bedside with their family member so as to give them a time to rest.

We, as the grandchildren of the starting minister of our church, were also required out of respect to sit with the deceased during visitation; Mom and other ladies would clean their homes and cook so the families could focus on what they needed to do.

My husband and all of my in-laws are Jewish....great combination of faiths!

My husband never ever had to deal with the situation you're describing. Trust me when I tell you that they were all shocked with the things I did to help his grandmother and mother during their "active" dying phase.

I sat with Nanny and talked with her. She would come "awake" and be talking with Gramps and 1 of her 2 children who had died years ago.

She would also talk with her sister who had died very young too. My husband's family didn't understand what was happening. I told them that those who loved her most were there to help her leave us. They thought I was nuts!

We received that same call a day or 2 later and to get to the nursing home. Nanny was trying to say something, but my husband didn't understand and couldn't stay in the room.

I stayed, so did our daughter, and I talked with Nanny again. I asked her if Gramps was there and she nodded even though we were told she was pretty much in a coma.

I asked her if she was tired, she nodded again. I told her that Gramps was there to help her go through the light. That she would be met by her children, parents and all her family. That she didn't need to stay if she was ready to leave. Everything would be ok, but she would leave us knowing that we loved her and would miss her, but her family has been waiting for her and they had been missing her too after all these years.

I kissed her; our daughter did too and told Nanny how much she loved her. By the time we got to my Mother's-in-law house (less than 30 minutes) she had passed. The nursing home told us it was less than 15 minutes after we left.

My Mother-in-law did exactly the same thing a few years later. The immediate family was there, but they were talking like she wasn't even there or why they were there.

I took over the duties that I could from the nurse and asked her what the signs were that I should look for to call her.

I was appalled that these in-laws were telling me that what I was doing was something one did not do in the Jewish faith. I was the only one holding a conversation with her, keeping her mouth/lips moist and placing chap stick on her lips.

She died the next evening. I called my Mom, the hospital was about 5 minutes away, to come and sit with me until the mortuary arrived. Our daughter sat with her grandmother and held her hand. My one time sister-in-law was aghast that our daughter was holding her dead grandmother's hand and told her that she needed to stop. My daughter, in middle school at the time, told her that this is her grandma and she wasn't going to let go until she had to do so.

My Mom got to the hospital and went to my Mother-in-law and told her how sad she was that she left us and held her face in her hands. OMG!! Sister-in-law almost fainted.

Apparently, morticians are considered a necessity BUT their job is considered very low on the job list. That THEY are the only ones that are to touch the dead and that's the reason that shrouds are placed over the open casket. In my faith, you comfort from start to finish.

I couldn't get home when my Grandmother died. Mom's brother called her to tell her that grandma was waiting for her; it was Christmas, our daughter drove Mom to the home. As soon as Mom got there, our daughter kissed grandma/told her how much she loved her. Mom held her Mother and told her that everything was forgiven and that she loved her and it was time. Grandma died in her arms. She was waiting for Mom to get there to say goodbye to her children.

Long story a little short, please have your Mom talk with her and tell her that you're on your way to say goodbye. She'll wait for you and telling those who are ready to take her will wait.

Her so called unconscious reflexes are her holding on for you.

Not that any faith is better than an other, but I have seen these things happen so many times.

Mom's cousin, also a minister, had come home after suffering a heart attack; took a shower, came out from the bathroom, held his wife in a hug and told her that his parents, great-grandma were there to take him home. He died right there in his wife's arms in the hallway.

THIS is active dying. Many medical people do not believe that these things happen; it happens every day. That is most likely the reason the nurse could not explain it.

Those caregivers who do, have many stories about what they have experienced.

The author of Little Women, Louisa Mae Alcott, talks about how she actually felt her sister's spirit leave her body and that she saw her go through the window.

Bless your Grandmother on her new travel to meet family members waiting for her.

The person who you have loved the most in this world, will be at the front of the line for you.

I know mine will be my great-grandma; she's already come to visit me once and had the most beautiful blue aura. We talked, not with our mouths but with our minds. It was a very calming feeling. I still don't know what she meant telling me that everything was going to be alright. Now, I think she was talking to me about my Mom and that I will be the one to help her at the end etc.

BTW, we live in a 100 yr old house here in TX and have 2 spirits who reside with us. When I walked into the house before we bought it, I felt a warm hug and a voice telling me that I was home.

There were 2 other offers, but the sellers accepted ours, I knew they would.

Everyone on our street know about these spirits and/or have seen them. Haven't seen them, but things happen in the house for no reason.

It's going to be very heart breaking for you, but remember she's trying to tell you she's going to fine and so will you.

She'll see you when it's time for you to come to her.
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I'm so sorry.... She could go within a day or last as long as a week - go now. Don't wait.
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People, the woman is dead.

THE OP's GRANDMOTHER HAS PASSED AWAY:

www.agingcare.com/questions/i-didnt-get-to-see-her-before-she-passed-on-435936.htm
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missionmorgan: I am so very sorry to read of your grandmother's passing. I am sorry that I posted before without reading the whole thread. Thank you for pointing that out cwillie!
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dkentz72: I just have to say your post was one of the most beautiful I've read on this forum. Thank you.
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Your Grandmother is dying. Don't wait go as soon as possible. Her passing may be a few hours or a few days but the dying process has already started. If she liked music play the music that she would like. When my sister was dying I played 'How Great Thou Are" by Elvis Presley. She was grasping for air & as soon as that song started playing her breathing started slowing down. The song played for 3 minutes & at the end of the song she was gone. Your Grandmother will be dehydrated. Make sure you have cool cloths to wipe her down with. The morphine helps with the pain from the dehydration. Make sure she gets that and the diazepam on a regular basis. God love you & your family.
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As has been said several times, the lady is dead already.
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THE OP's GRANDMOTHER HAS PASSED AWAY:

www.agingcare.com/questions/i-didnt-get-to-see-her-before-she-passed-on-435936.htm
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The fact that the person that posted this and then posted in another post that her Grandmother had died is a good reason that there should be a way to no longer allow people to post answers. I get very frustrated when I see a question or a response to a question and then notice that it is 2 years old. It would seem to be better to get newer posts, newer questions and newer answers. I doubt that anyone goes back and reads 2 years worth of answers. There should be a way that old questions and answers could be "Archived" the questions and answers would be there for someone to read and gain knowledge but posting a new question specific to the case might get better, more complete answers. Not to mention that information has changed and treatments evolve.
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Grandma 1954--The OP might not read the new answers (hopedly the issue has been solved by then), but the responses are sometimes interesting to others. However, you are correct that there may have been updates in the subject itself, such as new treatments and perhaps even new laws. I suspect that "old" questions are archived, but hopedly someone can confirm one way or another.
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and people need to share in a time like this. The responses are not to the grandmother necessarily but a need to share...lighten up. There's a world of knowledge inside folks.
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