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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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What do I do? I have had my mother's power of attorney since 1997. This summer my 90 year old uncle went to the bank with my 88 year old mother (who has dementia) and had the bank give him the power of attorney over her bank accounts. So, I have power of attorney, but no access to her finances. At this point, my sister and I have started thinking that a nursing home might be the best place for our mother. But my uncle is opposed to the idea. What do I do?
One more tip...if you are overweight or obese...don't even bother...they won't even look at you....which is sad because not all overweight poeple develope diabtes, etc. My daughter's friend's dad was just told he has type 2 diabetes...and he is as thin as a rail. I on the other hand am overweight, low blood pressure, no diabetes...and was refused. Go figure! Sounds biased to me...
@Debi58, Every long-term care insurer has a different way of evaluating one's health history.
Some A+ rated long-term care insurers will insure someone with a BMI as high as 43.0. Other long-term care insurers won't insure anyone with a BMI higher than 36.0.
Every company uses different criteria for determining who they can and cannot insure. That's why it's important to work with an independent agent who represents lots of different companies and specializes in long-term care insurance.
The standard DPA typically does not contain the specific language/clause which allows a caregiver to admit their parent, if necessary, to a psychiatric hospital against their will. If the parent refuses & your DPA doesn't cover this potential situation, you cannot admit. Check w/ your atty or local psychiatric hospital. (This is the case for CA, I have no info as to other states' laws/procedures.)
he refuses to tell me anything, i know hes not handling things well, but hes still sharp enough that it looks like im just on a mad spending spree, ( even though my clothes are ragedy and i dont wear make up) all money i spend is on the house and im a reciept keeper. he also keeps insisting on making desert for his friends every friday. we cant afford to be buying all these ingredients and were both overweight, but hes a big baby.yells at me when he doesnt pay bills, only grocerys he buys are sugar flour rasins,etc..no actual food.he eats out 3-5 nights a week, he volunteers and gets a free dinner, so i buy my own food.but his part of grocery bill is way more than budget allows.. oh well.. just one of so many things
I started dating with my current boyfriend about 11 years ago. After a couple of years later I did ask him about LTCI, He had no idea what LTCI was , so I explained to him then we contacted independent agent for purchase LTCI (provide by Genworth) for both of us. Well now my boyfriend is having series problems his right leg with Edma.... And just found out he has bloods crat same side of leg....He will be 79 in Dec. We don't know what going to happen but at least keeps us a little peace for now. stp
I have a POA for my mother and the Advance Directive in my name to take care of her - do I need anything else? Also - at what point do I call my attorney/financial advisor about things? Do I even need to do that? I just placed my mother in assisted living after a stroke. I have 2 letters from doctors stating she is unable to make decisions for herself.
What do you do if your mother refuses to admit she has a problem and if asked about any financial matters she refuses to tell you? She's at the point where she's losing money, literally, but insists that she knows what she's doing and won't allow any of us to help her. She also refuses to go to a doctor or admit that she has any memory problems despite asking the same questions repeatedly, telling the same stories over and over and accusing my brother of stealing from her. All classic signs of dementia from what I've been reading here. I have POA but she has to be declared incompetent before it's in effect and I live 3 hours away from her.
A simple way - if you trust the other person, you can have both names on any checkwriting accounts, includes Banks and Financial Institutions. Either person has power to empty out accounts if necessary.
Don't depend on Long term care Insurance to pay out when you need it. Like disability insurers they will do their best to find excuses not to pay. If you have the means try and save up six months worth of nursing home expences. that way you can choose the home you are admitted to and self pay till the money runs out. When you have to rely on Medicare you have to accept he first bed available no matter the reputation of the facility. if you already have a bed somewhere Medicare can not make you move which can be very reassuring. The premiums for long term care are very expensive so saving as an alternative should not be too difficult.
Good points. Loved one just passed.we had none of these answers. Also we had no final instructions and no funds. Not only are we dealing with grief, we were scrambling to make the most appropriate and respectful last decisions. Please have the talk. Have some plan of action. It will help everyone.
What do you do when you have a durable power of attorney for a couple with Alzheimer's and no children and you need to corral their spending and cannot with the POA?
When one healthy parent is the caregiver of the other who has dementia, what are the financial problems of assisted living costs vs. keeping the home environment and thus having capital left for the healthy spouse when the sick parent has to enter a nursing home?
My parents are 81- my Mom was just put into a memory care unit in mid to late stage alzheimers. My Dad has the finances to pay the expensive cost of assisted living for her. We think he just had a minor stroke, tests are currently being conducted and his memory is slipping- in the event of his death everything goes to Mom and she is mentally incapacitated. What does he need to put in place so that we can keep Mom in the AL center in the event he becomes incapacitated or worse passes away first. my brother and I are listed on the will as splitting everything after they pass away. I am afraid if he dies we wont be able to access his IRA, bank or sell the house to keep Mom in the facility.
My mother doesn't have enough to go into a facility and has to much to get Medicaid. Can you charge her her rent to be Abe to get her Medicaid and then will she be able to get accepted into a facility?
When I took over finances for Mom and her husband, they were so bad we had to file bankruptcy for both. As bad as that was, it was a blessing in some ways because it was the opportunity to stop all the bad spending habits. All the credit cards were shredded and accounts were closed. All they had left were their bank cards. I told them they could never be used online for any reason whatsoever and they believed me. I told them all charges of that type would need to be charged on my credit card and paid back to me. So that is how we have handled for the last 4 years. Step-father has started getting a little out of control again but I'm working on reigning him back in. I have POA for both. Mom has Frontotemporal dementia but he is becoming very forgetful. Both are 75. He still works part-time. I live with them and manage all finances, grocery shopping, etc.. He is typical man and resents not having control over everything so is very passive aggressive. Will buy things knowing I just bought them and let them go to waste. Anyway, bankruptcy was a humbling experience for both of them, at the time. Mom no longer remembers it even happened. Step-father takes advantage of memory loss. Recommend having ducks in a row as early as possible, including POA, will, advance directives, organ donation, burial vs. cremation decisions, etc. Can be the cause of many family problems - especially between siblings and / or when step-families are involved!! Good luck to all of us traveling through this journey ...
These are great tips that can help adult children manage the finances of their aging loved ones. This is very important especially now that most seniors will need long term care. Its cost is devastating so it's important that you have an idea whether your parents have insurance products and other investments that can help cover their future long-term care needs. In addition to this list, I think adult children should know if their parents applied for reverse mortgage. Why? If your parents applied for reverse mortgage and died, the lender will take their home. This is a big problem if you'll inherit their home. It's important to know these things in order to avoid inconveniences and financial woes in the future. To those who are asking what is a reverse mortgage can refer to these helpful resources:
Stepdad has Med POA and I have Fin POA for my mother. He appears normal to most but is jealous of mother daughter relationship and would like me not to associate with her. Has stroke granddaughter with cane and attempted to hit me. I think my Mom needs to rewrite her will and Med POA.
I just recently had to take over the bill payment for my Dad. My Mom use to do all the budgeting/finances but has since passed. One day while visiting Dad I happened to have noticed current bills mixed in with the recycling, and saw on Dad's desk bills that were over due. Oops.
Oh my gosh, this has turned into a full-time job... going on-line and trying to change addresses so the bills come to me and not to Dad.... love the ones that ask for a "pin" number, have no clue what the number would be and Dad [94] wouldn't know.
And Dad has dozens of 3-ring binders with all sorts of financial information, and trying to match mix-matched papers has been a chore. Stocks go back to the 1960's.... [sigh]. And there are gaps, heavens knows where those papers are hiding !! I did find some missing Medicare paperwork in the binder for the car repairs.
Whew, just this past week I was finally able to consolidate all the checking and savings accounts into one bank, instead of having these accounts scattered in various banks. Wasn't until after the fact that I noticed that Dad's Social Security check and pension check went to an account that I had closed. Was able to get the Social Security check to the correct bank via on-line, but will need to call the pension group in person as the on-line site wasn't user friendly... hope I can speak with a human.
Then all the change of addresses as Dad recently moved into Independent Living, finally, he and Mom should have done that years ago... then they could have done all this paperwork :P
H20user - I'm sorry you are going through this, but I can relate. My stepfather has always been verbally abusive to mom and me, and now that I convinced him that he could be jailed for abusing mom, he has turned all his anger on me. He has physically attacked me 3 times and cornered me another time. I have both their POAs. Things are getting bad and he's trying to get me to leave. He is also rearranging all the furniture and ruining the beautiful job my mom did decorating their house. APS was of no help at all - stepfather and sister are both pathological liars. APS rep said stepfather and I need counseling and that will resolve everything. Hardly!! Not when stepfather won't be honest about anything. I may have to take mom and leave but I'm disabled and can't work, still waiting on disability decision so not sure where we would go. Extremely depressed and feel trapped.
I had all of the above documents and thought we were well planned for our parents but when the actual time came for me to execute my DPOA I discovered that the federal government does not recognize it and I should've had a Payee Representative form. I was very upset as we paid a lot of money to a very reputable attorney to do this for us. He should've added this to his paperwork and I have since told him so. I'd like to share this with everyone.
Complicated. My father passed away 3 months ago. I was his Medical POA. My sister was Finacial POA of my father and mother and medical POA of my mother. Please note, my father was hospitalized with a terminal illness and my mother was diagnosed with dementia and feels she was forced to sign these papers), I received a tx message at 0303 that my mothers bags were packed and I had to take her to the state I reside. During the care of my father, his wishes were for my mother to be in my care, due to the unhealthy relationship that my sister has with my mother and I. My sister was reported to Adult Proctive Service by a physician, for medical neglect of my mother. Since, I have moved my mother to the state that I reside, my mother is domiciled in this state and she hired a attorney to appoint me as the POA of finances and medical, which revoked my sister. Unfortunately, after my sister recieved notice that she was "Revoked", $$$$ was removed from several of my parents accounts. My mother has hired attorneys in two states to assist in the estate. My sister insist that my POA is invalid, although it was completed by an attorney and not a form printed off line. My sister has now refused to pay any of the bills that are consider in the trust. She is stating my mother is incompetent and taken the role of Co-Trustee of the family trust. I have had my mother tested by a neuropsychologist and she is deemed compent over her financial matters. I have found out today that none of the bills have been paid. I do not have access to pay these bills. Any thoughts??? The attorney seems as frustrated as me
This topic is vital. People facing dementia of any variety have a whirlwind of issue to face. At a minimum, solid Powers of Attorney should be drafted. Too often I see weak, wrong or outdated POAs in place. That is the first, but not the last concern for Elder Law Estate Planning Attorneys.
I think that is a great tip! However, I would like to add that individual states should be considered as well. I filed late this year for TYE 2013 for federal and state for mom and step-father ~ I hold POA for both. I signed returns for both as POA, included copies of POA (highlighting language related to federal and state income taxes) and sent certified mail. Federal refund was received quite promptly. State has still not been received 7 months later.
Don't do a thing, mean parents deserve a mean end. I have been berated, belittled, lied about, put down and stomped upon by my mother who uses me to make herself a victim. Save yourself, check out and let the one she appointed do it.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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10 Things You Should Know About Your Elderly Parent's Finances
Every long-term care insurer has a different way of evaluating one's health history.
Some A+ rated long-term care insurers will insure someone with a BMI as high as 43.0. Other long-term care insurers won't insure anyone with a BMI higher than 36.0.
Every company uses different criteria for determining who they can and cannot insure. That's why it's important to work with an independent agent who represents lots of different companies and specializes in long-term care insurance.
Scott
http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/program_offices/housing/sfh/hecm/rmtopten
http://www.revmortgage.org/education/what-is-a-reverse-mortgage/
http://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0192-reverse-mortgages
Oh my gosh, this has turned into a full-time job... going on-line and trying to change addresses so the bills come to me and not to Dad.... love the ones that ask for a "pin" number, have no clue what the number would be and Dad [94] wouldn't know.
And Dad has dozens of 3-ring binders with all sorts of financial information, and trying to match mix-matched papers has been a chore. Stocks go back to the 1960's.... [sigh]. And there are gaps, heavens knows where those papers are hiding !! I did find some missing Medicare paperwork in the binder for the car repairs.
Whew, just this past week I was finally able to consolidate all the checking and savings accounts into one bank, instead of having these accounts scattered in various banks. Wasn't until after the fact that I noticed that Dad's Social Security check and pension check went to an account that I had closed. Was able to get the Social Security check to the correct bank via on-line, but will need to call the pension group in person as the on-line site wasn't user friendly... hope I can speak with a human.
Then all the change of addresses as Dad recently moved into Independent Living, finally, he and Mom should have done that years ago... then they could have done all this paperwork :P
During the care of my father, his wishes were for my mother to be in my care, due to the unhealthy relationship that my sister has with my mother and I. My sister was reported to Adult Proctive Service by a physician, for medical neglect of my mother.
Since, I have moved my mother to the state that I reside, my mother is domiciled in this state and she hired a attorney to appoint me as the POA of finances and medical, which revoked my sister. Unfortunately, after my sister recieved notice that she was "Revoked", $$$$ was removed from several of my parents accounts. My mother has hired attorneys in two states to assist in the estate.
My sister insist that my POA is invalid, although it was completed by an attorney and not a form printed off line.
My sister has now refused to pay any of the bills that are consider in the trust. She is stating my mother is incompetent and taken the role of Co-Trustee of the family trust.
I have had my mother tested by a neuropsychologist and she is deemed compent over her financial matters.
I have found out today that none of the bills have been paid. I do not have access to pay these bills. Any thoughts???
The attorney seems as frustrated as me