My father in law fell last year. His recovery has been miraculous, he can (mostly) walk, talk, feed himself. But at 80, his TBI resulted in severe dementia. The problem is he was showing symptoms prior to the fall. My partner and his mother (primary caretaker) refuse to acknowledge this and still believe it will get better with time. They are beyond stressed, unable to sleep, refuse to consider putting him in a home or going to therapy as a family. Family friends will occasionally come sit with him to give us a break, and he goes to a senior center once a week. How can I make this easier on my family?
It’s incredibly frustrating and difficult to reason with people who are delusional.
How old is the wife? This is a lot of responsibility for her to look after him.
I suppose that you could suggest that they hire additional help. The best solution is to place him in a facility.
I agree though that if FIL has not had an evaluation by a neurologist, he needs one to determine at this point what is going on. At 82, he may not be able to bounce back.
I just lost a friend to a head injury and the doctors said his age was a factor in how he would heal. He was 73.
Good luck to you.
You can ask them what you could do to make it easier on them, however, don't ask if you are unwilling to do what they ask of you.
You can be a listening ear to them. Don't go into solution mode. Just echo what they said to you or ask additional questions, and empathize with their situation. If you are busting at the seams with what you think will be a helpful comment or solution, ask for permission first to air your comment, then when they say yes, then state your comment. If they say no, then hold your comment. People who freely give their opinion that no one requests, are a pain-in-the-***. There are lots of people that pass judgement or give out opinions when the best thing they could have done is keep their opinions to themselves.
So, my suggestion on how to help your family, is just be a good/great listener.