my sister went behind my moms back and got herself as payee of my mothers checks. stated she was incapacitated-not true. keeps her own place. mom hates it there, brother took her money-wont give it back, my sister and mother barely speak. mom hasnt left yard or house-long way from store or dr.
Brother is stealing from her? Tell the police.
You are so right!
Further, the elder might appear as perfectly balanced throughout a 2+hour evaluation by social workers....only starting to "lose it" by the time the soc. workers pack up and leave the house.
Mom needs evaluated.
BUT, someone needs to look into what's really going on with the Brother taking her money--she might have given it to him freely, only to carp about it to others, later.
My Mom did exactly as you state--did the classic "divide and conquer".
She utterly destroyed relations between me and my siblings during the 6 years she stayed under our roof.
They still do not seem to understand what hit 'em.
They still think I am furious at them, or furious at Mom, since that has been laced into Mom's stories.
The hardest part about elders who do this, is that they know enough truths, and how to lace them together with lies, to delude even family who know them well, know their habits and behaviors of a lifetime.
It really does sound like Adult Protective Services might need to investigate, too.
If you are at some distance fro Mom, so that it is hard for you to get there, this would be helpful. And it might help put the brakes on whatever hinky things other family members are doing.
We kept reporting abuses/neglect for a family down the street from us.
NO agency responded, not for reported drug dealing in the house where children were, not for child trying to escape over a balcony, not for cold kids w/no sweaters, nothing...the only time agencies responded, was when it was reported that the drug-dealer boyfriend was taking the mom's welfare check, and preventing them getting things they needed to live.
THEN they were all over the case.
So maybe, something needs said about her money going to persons that are not using it to care for her, and her needs are unmet, and she is endangered..
She is. If she is staying at home, not going anywhere, that is a problem. IT might be the tip of the iceberg.