Hubby is 80, still quite active, strong, but he is partially deaf (seldom wears his hearing aids) and will eventually lose his sight due to macular degeneration in both eyes. I have a bad back (I can see problems for me in the future, a hip break, limited mobility) We have a 9 room house. Its getting to be too much for me to keep up. I'm trying to get rid of things in anticipation of getting out of here and into something easier. He just keeps on as if we can live like this forever. I try to pick up, keep the house neat, organize and put away his stuff that he leaves on counters, bookshelves, tables, all over the place and he gets mad. He won't even try to downsize. All I see is some day he will not be able to see, and I will have to figure out what to do with all of this - including a street rod, a basement full of power tools, and junk of all sorts. What if I am not well enough to do this? I have seen so many of my older friends end up overwhelmed because health caught up with them long before they were able to downsize. My children are thousands of miles away. I have no other help. I just can't stand the clutter and the overwhelming pressure of all the stuff!
I see our future old age looming as not so nice if we can't move in the next year or so. It is driving me nuts, stuff in several rooms on every counter, shelf and he gets mad if I move it. "Leave it - I know where it is - I'm going to do ....... with it" except all the things he is going to "do" eventually stretches out for years and it's still there in corners and on top of every surface, bookcase, filling closets and drawers. Its gotten so I don't touch certain rooms. When he gets around to "cleaning" he puts it all back. I can't stand the clutter which keeps us in this house.
He won't accept that, at 80, he will not use all this stuff and he has lost interest in a lot of it anyway. Most of his time is spent on internet forums or reading. That's ok, normal, but its time to accept some day is not going to happen to get rid of a lot of this stuff. Our house is too big. I'm exhausted trying to keep up with the indoor upkeep and cleaning, up and down stairs carrying laundry baskets with a really bad back. Most of his physical energy goes into the necessary repairs and yard work (that he won't pay anyone to do although we could) This isn't good for him (that energy could be used for hobbies if we didn't have this house) . He shouldn't be power washing, leaf blowing, carpet cleaning, etc.
I'm going to hire someone to clean for me a couple times a month but no one but him can get rid of the clutter.
I just watched my best friends diverse themselves of 45 years of very expensive furniture, collections, etc because they are moving 3000 miles away. They couldn't give away all the beautiful things they must leave behind and plan to call the junk man. So sad that we spend a fortune on material things that become meaningless, we can't take with us and never face it until its too late.
Sorry for my rant. Christmas is almost on us and if I sound very negative its because I get really sad and depressed, frustrated this time of year. Mom is gone, my children live far far away, we have so little family now and I worry a lot.
The people who plan ahead, get into a home or condo that is low maintenance, no stairs and easy to navigate are able to stay independent much longer than those that cling to the house (and things) they had when they were 40. I see that in my neighborhood where the homes are 45 years old. The original owners (both widow and widower) who stayed into their 80's had homes that have depreciated due to lack of maintenance and updating. I personally know 6 people who ended up selling their homes for $100k less than market value of an updated home right next door. Every one waited too long, were desperate and needed assisted living so they had no choice but to leave and sell in a hurry. They did not see how their home deteriorated and almost all their possessions ended up in the dumpster.
I really believe many who have trouble seeing, they don't want to move. They have the current floorplan imprinted in their brain so they could find their way around even in the dark. They just know where everything is.... so a move would disrupt their whole way of finding things. I want to move, too. But my sig other refuses, big time.
My late Mom refused to move from the house that she and Dad shared. Mom eventually became legally blind, but she could find her way around the house, cook, clean [somewhat], laundry, etc. I even noticed when I use to bring in the groceries, she was zipping around quickly [like The Flash] putting things away before my Dad tried to help. Dad would just put things anywhere, thus Mom wouldn't be able to find it later on.
I also need to clean out the basement of power tools, I have no excuse, that workbench and everything on or near it is mine... my Dad taught me how to fix things even though I was a girl, thus I would gets Dad's hand-me-down tools whenever he got new ones.
Have you tried telling hubby you are thinking of hiring a 1-800-Junk type crew that is coming in to take away some of your own stuff, and since you are paying for a half a truck, is there anything that he [hubby] wants to toss out so the truck doesn't go away less than half empty.