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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Some forms of dementia do start with with severe short term memory loss. I think it is valuable to try to get a diagnosis as specific as you can, so that a treatment plan can be put into place, and so that you know what to expect.
I think that an 85 year old should have a geriatrician as her primary care provider, and that a person with severe memory loss should be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist and/or a behavioral neurologist.
Also, countrymouse knows what 'she's' talking about. If your Mother is slowly going through the first stages of progression to Alzhiemers, make sure you do your research. Know exactly what you and your family are going to be challenged with. It's a very taxing job even if your intentions are lovingly clear. The mental toll it takes on a caregiver is enormous. I grew up "old school" you care for your elders like they cared for you while growing up. However, make sure you do your research and a lot of it. Consult her doctors and get a POA and medical POA. Someone needs to have at least part of that before things get worse. My MIL fell many times but was always afraid to tell us for fear of us just putting her in a nursing home at first sign of not being able to care for herself. Give your Mom lots of reassurance. Get help with the caregiving aspect of it all. Make sure your siblings are on the same page and are seeing for themselves what exactly the situation is and get in writing what is going to be expected of each member. It's very easy for them to make excuses when things get bad, not to help out. And, like I said before, you are going to need a break every now and again. Don't want to seem like a real downer but I've walked in those shoes and if someone can learn from some of what I totally didn't know or expect, then that would be my gift to you.
My MIL was initially diagnosed with Dementia. But we've come to realize that she just has short term memory issues, most likely caused by lack of oxygen to the brain due to her heart failure. Alzheimer patients get to the point that they don't know what an item is, like a fork, or what its used for.
Reverseroles, my Mother has symptoms very similar to your Mother's. We were able to keep her walking somewhat, very small distances, until this spring. Now it is from bed to wheelchair for the day. What upsets me the most (besides the whole idea "this" even happened to my beautiful fun-loving Mother) is her inability to express herself. The worst part of that is it leads my stepfather to believe that she doesn't understand words either. And he'll say just about anything in front of her, ignoring my protestations. I know she understands a great deal of what she hears, whether on television, or when the family talks, because she will try to be part of the conversation, and there are even times when she's able to put together an entire sentence that just makes my day. Today I made her French toast for breakfast and after the second bite, I heard her tell my stepfather, "This is nice." Such a tremendous payback for only a small bit of extra effort. I like times best when we're alone together because I talk to her just like I have done my whole life, which means as if there is nothing out of the ordinary going on. I will tease her, I will sing, I will dance for her, which she loves, I'll complain about MEN, which she gets, (because we've pretty much decided that women should run the world). Although I can't complain about the men in her life: her son (my younger brother who lives 1000 miles away) calls her every day; my husband, who along with my stepfather, helps her into and out of bed every day, is wonderful with her, and her husband in his own clumsy way, treats her like a precious commodity. The days I'm out doing my volunteer work, they take turns making her breakfast. Like your Mother there is no apparent medical reason for the dementia. There was hope for a while that she had normal pressure hydrocephalus because many times that can be reversible by placing a shunt in her brain. But tests ultimately could not confirm it. She is 86, she lives with us and my stepfather comes every day at some point before twelve and stays by her side until he puts her to bed at ten. This is so hard on everyone except her, it seems to me. But really I shouldn't even say that much as I cannot know really what she is thinking, or even if she is thinking. I pray every day that if she does have "thoughts", or any dreams, that they are good ones and that no matter what that they do not scare her. I am sorry now though that as this was slowly happening to her we took pains not to discuss the changes with her. We were at sea, with not a clue how to proceed. When she'd say she felt like she was losing her mind, we would immediately reassure her that was not the case. No one wanted to hurt her; now I realize we might have handled it differently. Just one of many things I'll always wonder about. Good luck with your Mother. I will include you in my prayers.
Sheryl, how long ago did you move in with your mother? Are you living in her home, or is she in yours? And, if you're working full-time in a demanding professional job, who is looking after her while you're out of the house?
I'm really hoping you thought this through before you took it on. Could you tell us a bit more, please?
Milindar, I hate to be doom-laden but what you describe in your MIL's case is vascular dementia. The poor circulation caused by congestive heart failure starves the brain of its oxygen supply so that little by little parts of it fail. That is dementia, it's not "just" anything.
If you go to the Alzheimer's Society, or look up the brilliant Teepa Snow's lectures, you will see the various kinds of dementia discussed. As I say, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't believe illusions are helpful to anyone.
If you're employed and your family can afford it, you can hire a health aide to sit with you mom while you work, they'll also do laundry, change bedding, do showering or bathing, prepare meals, clean her room, etc... The average cost is 20.00 per hour and frankly a good one is hard to find but well worth it for a busy professional and family. My dad didn't like the simple puzzles and games, he wanted to build stuff so we went with Legos. Also do a Durable Power of Attorney for finances and health matters, you can be removed with just a simple POA which could lead to a big headache for you and your mom. I do volunteer work and hired a health aide to help with dad so I could continue that work, she helps with doctors visits too.
Sheryl my mom is 94 and has virtually no short-term memory. I think it's from medications she takes. But she lives in independent living by herself and gets along just fine. I take her all of her food (it's too far for her to get to the dining room and she doesn't get dressed a lot of days). She reads almost a book a day, works the daily crossword puzzle in her newspaper, uses the microwave, does her own dishes, and cuts out articles in the paper for my brother and I.
If you're around her for more than five minutes, she'll ask you the same question or make the same comment three times. She can remember her early life, but couldn't remember the next day her son called from California or what they discussed. She gets along well because of having a very set routine. She's had a few issues here and there with remembering her medications and when to shower, but overall she's doing very well and is happy.
So short-term memory issues don't necessarily lead to Alzheimers. Just keep an eye out and look for things that are different from having no memory. The other day I was looking for some little cupcakes I'd brought my mom because I wanted to snag one for myself. I couldn't find them anywhere. I had this sinking feeling that she'd put them somewhere odd, which would indicate more of an issue with her memory (like Alzheimers). I asked her and of course she couldn't remember. I finally found them in her microwave, which she uses as a breadbox. Whew. She scared me there. :)
Alzheimer's does start with memory loss, but so does overmedicating. I would take a good look at her meds. My MIL got herself so screwed up she landed in ICU. "Polypharmacy" is what they call it. More common than you think.
Yes thats how it started with my Mom. My Mom also had low B12 which is why I take 1000 mcg's daily myself now. She had to get the shots until she was up to par and then I continued with the pills. Uti's can cause it also many things can, so get her checked out by a doctor to make sure. When my Moms started I took her to the doctors and by the ride home she didnt believe we went there. It progressed from there, that was in like 2005, she is now 92 and still hanging in there. Its such a long journey. Once she told me to get her keys in her drawer and then she came in and was upset saying "why are you in my drawer?" argh, its just the beginning stages. Hopefully your Moms is found to be minor and medically fixable. Good luck
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I think that an 85 year old should have a geriatrician as her primary care provider, and that a person with severe memory loss should be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist and/or a behavioral neurologist.
I'm really hoping you thought this through before you took it on. Could you tell us a bit more, please?
If you go to the Alzheimer's Society, or look up the brilliant Teepa Snow's lectures, you will see the various kinds of dementia discussed. As I say, I don't want to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't believe illusions are helpful to anyone.
If you're around her for more than five minutes, she'll ask you the same question or make the same comment three times. She can remember her early life, but couldn't remember the next day her son called from California or what they discussed. She gets along well because of having a very set routine. She's had a few issues here and there with remembering her medications and when to shower, but overall she's doing very well and is happy.
So short-term memory issues don't necessarily lead to Alzheimers. Just keep an eye out and look for things that are different from having no memory. The other day I was looking for some little cupcakes I'd brought my mom because I wanted to snag one for myself. I couldn't find them anywhere. I had this sinking feeling that she'd put them somewhere odd, which would indicate more of an issue with her memory (like Alzheimers). I asked her and of course she couldn't remember. I finally found them in her microwave, which she uses as a breadbox. Whew. She scared me there. :)
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