She wears depends but it runs down her leg as I am pulling them up or down. She has the feeling and wants to use the toilet but understands it is hard. Changing clothes and getting out of the shower is extremely hard. Constant urine when getting up and down.
Holding pee, bashful-bladder, clenching,
My wife started puddling everywhere and then wouldn't go when we set her on the toilet. We put her in diapers.
Then she started overflowing, so we just changed them on schedule.
But often when we stand her from her chair, she would let loose, either in addition to a full diaper, or just a lot of pee. Then she would not finish when we got her to the toilet. Bashful bladder. Some people are very private about personal acts and will clench and pinch off the flow. She was always that way. I am that way, I could never pee in a cup.
She lost all of her memory, doesn't know us or even herself. She auto responded to needs of eating and toileting by expression.
The one thing she is that pee is a very personal thing to her.
We realized that she is not physically incontinent. She simply forgot how to take herself to toilet and was too bashful to express to anyone.
So she would hold it until she couldn't.
Then she hated peeing in a diaper. As would we.
So she would hold it until she couldn't.
We stopped using crotch covers in 2013. Skirts and gowns for privacy.
We toilet her every hour. I am old and I have to pee every hour.
She sits and sleeps on washable bedpads with cotton overlay.
Rarely an accident or UTI in these 8 years.
What about starting or stepping up a toileting schedule so that there's less urine volume to handle?
Caution needs to be used for some meds. A lot of docs aren't aware that
''aggravation of symptoms of dementia (e.g., confusion, disorientation, delusion) have been reported after tolterodine/oxybutynin therapy was initiated in patients taking cholinesterase inhibitors for the treatment of dementia''. So meds like Detrol would be a no-go if she was on something like Aricept. (Ask me how I know, LOL!)
says she doesn’t have to go. You will also be training the bladder with more frequent voiding! Good luck! God Bless her!’ Amichee Board Certified Urology
I will share with you what her hospice nurse told us. She said that sugar increases urinating. Mom was tiny and never had much of an appetite. She did like Ensure drinks, which are fairly high in sugar. When she cut back on Ensure, there was some improvement. My mom lost any control, like your mom. It is miserable for them.
Mom’s hospice nurse arranged for her to enter a hospice house for the last month of her life. They placed a catheter in her then. She was completely bed bound with end stage Parkinson’s disease.
I feel for you and your mom. It’s a frustrating situation. Wishing you and your family all the best.
Agree with the info on "shy bladder". If she could use a bedpan, would there be an issue? One of the problems is "getting comfortable".
Folks realize that there are people in certain areas of the world who toilet train babies. It's a matter of trigger, response, reward. And some people can understand some instructions but nothing complicated.
I'd suggest the following:
- Try a bed pan. Put her in control of using it.
- Try the underwear inserts (basically like sanitary pads).
- Talk to a urologist (with female experience) about any hormonal methods to control urine. If it needs to be applied directly to the area, use the previous suggestion and spread some on there to not have to be too personal about it.
Good luck. Urinating is more important than making a BM, and it's really difficult for some people, even if we have all our marbles. Distracting myself (counting tiles in the bathroom for example) while trying pee often works best!
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