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OK, I have some strong opinions on this, so please bear with me. We went through the whole POA/Guardianship thing with my MIL this past summer due to her daughter having POA and absuing that power. This is what I have learned through the whole process.
The whole POA thing is a farce. Your mom can sign a different POA form naming someone different every day. Yes, you can have the POA put back to you. The next day your mom can turn around and give it back to pot smoking niece, and this can go back and forth. The way to put an end to this is to try to get guardianship of your mom.
In order to get guardianship, you need to go to court. You need to prove your mom is incompetant to make any legal or medical decisions for herself. The court will appoint a guardian ad litem to represent your mom's interests. This GAL will talk to all family members involved. This would give pot smoking niece the opportunity to tell them how much of a piece of crap you are, as you can do the same to her. So if the GAL decides neither one of you are fit for the responsibility, your mom becomes a ward of the state after you just spent about $5,000 in legal fees and court costs. Now say you ARE appointed guardianship as I found, apparently no one has to honor those papers. Say your niece and your mom have a joint bank account which your mom's social security is being direct deposited into, and you open a new account in your mom's name and try to have her SS switched to be deposited into that account.... SS will not honor it without your mom calling herself to have it switched. My MIL did not have the mental faculties to do this. SS is the federal government, guardianship is the state so the federal doesn't honor those court documents. Even the bank won't honor it unless everything is spelled out specifically and their attorney's review it and agree to it. Yet, all these institutions readily accept POA documents without question (and please refer back to the first paragraph). I guess orders signed by a judge are meaningless.
So essentially, if your mom still has some mental faculties and wants your niece as her POA.... let them have each other. To change it otherwise simply because you are her daughter.... that is a long, stressful, expensive road that you do not even want to deal with. Unless you can prove with bank statements and other documentation.... financial abuse or medical neglect it is not worth it. I will never do that again.
Jackie---How in the world after 6 years-and then 1 month did the POA change? You may have to take this up with an elder care attorney....Was your Mom in sound mind-at the time of the POA change-if not, I doubt if it will stand. Who has the POA at this point, and is it for legal issues, or health? Is there a department of elderly affairs nearby-and if so-present this matter to them for guidance. Best, Hap
Crowemagnum Not sure if it's only in California but that's where we live and not only do they all live there mom,brother,nephew,sister,brother-in-law NO BODY Works! so my mom is supporting them all but she don't do anything to change it! I feel bad for her but what can I do? I've told her she needs to kick them all out ,and the nephew has pot plants growing don't even get me started on that.Thanks for responding.
I have pretty much had to do alot of this. I was a guardian, a niece (not pot smoking), and am working on removing my mother's POA away from my sister who is 46, jobless, lazy, mentally abusive, and spends at least half of mom's SS check on herself. I found getting my uncle and aunt involved has helped. Sis now knows we all are monitoring her. We also are gathering real proof to take to Family Services. It has already helped to clean up her behavior. Just mentioning to your niece that the authorities might not approve of an illegal drug user as a POA might help. My sister's license was suspended for lack of insurance and I researched the fines and jail times and shared it with her. It helped. We are trying to keep Mom out of any fighting. She is desparately attached to Sis and her life is difficult enough. Because Mom sees me as the calm and reliable child, she tends to rely on me more and I'm able to keep an eye on everthing. So, my point is that I'm keeping the peace while I'm gathering my proof and if needed, I can go to Family Services with concise, rational, and undeniable proof. Recently, someone answered a POA question by saying that POA comes with great responsibility and that is so true. So, I know, that even if Sis gets to invoke the POA, I can go to Family Services anytime because now she'll have even less wiggle room to get out of trouble. So, if you can, bide your time and fight that battle when you are ready. I wish you best of luck. Karen
The first concern to be addressed is your Mom's daily needs and her quality of life. Who is the person that will be wholeheartedlly willing and able to focus on her issues, before their "own" needs? This matter is a stressful and emotional battle for the caregiver, anyone who has this position,{ as the main caregiver and also responsable for financial and leagal issues} should be rewarded not punished. If possible try to focus on what "MOM" needs and not who is or is not in control! If you can do that, than make a joint effort to focus on "MOM" . We all have different personalities... some people are good with paperwork others are good with finances and others with caregiving etc.. Bottom line, there is a life that needs people to be there with unconditional love. Just ask yourself one question... "How would I like to be treated if I were in this position?" Once you have accomplished these matters all the other details will be in focus and the reality of the situation will be clearer.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
The whole POA thing is a farce. Your mom can sign a different POA form naming someone different every day. Yes, you can have the POA put back to you. The next day your mom can turn around and give it back to pot smoking niece, and this can go back and forth. The way to put an end to this is to try to get guardianship of your mom.
In order to get guardianship, you need to go to court. You need to prove your mom is incompetant to make any legal or medical decisions for herself. The court will appoint a guardian ad litem to represent your mom's interests. This GAL will talk to all family members involved. This would give pot smoking niece the opportunity to tell them how much of a piece of crap you are, as you can do the same to her. So if the GAL decides neither one of you are fit for the responsibility, your mom becomes a ward of the state after you just spent about $5,000 in legal fees and court costs. Now say you ARE appointed guardianship as I found, apparently no one has to honor those papers. Say your niece and your mom have a joint bank account which your mom's social security is being direct deposited into, and you open a new account in your mom's name and try to have her SS switched to be deposited into that account.... SS will not honor it without your mom calling herself to have it switched. My MIL did not have the mental faculties to do this. SS is the federal government, guardianship is the state so the federal doesn't honor those court documents. Even the bank won't honor it unless everything is spelled out specifically and their attorney's review it and agree to it. Yet, all these institutions readily accept POA documents without question (and please refer back to the first paragraph). I guess orders signed by a judge are meaningless.
So essentially, if your mom still has some mental faculties and wants your niece as her POA.... let them have each other. To change it otherwise simply because you are her daughter.... that is a long, stressful, expensive road that you do not even want to deal with. Unless you can prove with bank statements and other documentation.... financial abuse or medical neglect it is not worth it. I will never do that again.
Best,
Hap
Best,
Hap
Not sure if it's only in California but that's where we live and not only do they all live there mom,brother,nephew,sister,brother-in-law NO BODY Works! so my mom is supporting them all but she don't do anything to change it! I feel bad for her but what can I do? I've told her she needs to kick them all out ,and the nephew has pot plants growing don't even get me started on that.Thanks for responding.
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