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Hello I would like to ask for some legal advice if anyone know of a good attorney that would be able to help me? My 83 year old mom has dementia, Parkinson, Alzheimer's and is bed ridden.
I’m the sole caregiver of mom and I have a full time job. I do have an IHSS caregiver that comes every day for 7 hours to help. Which is a blessing.
Mom had a total of 6 kids. Now only 4 live though it used to be my elder sister helping me so every other weekend we would have it free. She got burn out and told us the effect Feb 29th and Mar 1st was her last weekend helping me. So as of March 2, 2020 I’m the sole caregiver of mom.
Know this house is owned by mom and elder sister as a joint tenants. Mom back in 2015 got her living trust in order. I live at mom’s house so my elder sister comes and bullies me and verbal abuse and I want to put a stop to it. I’m tired of walking on egg shells I feel that if she could just leave me alone I have enough with mom not letting me sleep at night sometimes I only sleep 4 hours and have to work (I’m an accountant) so it’s extremely hard. Though I just want to keep mom's wish. Which is she wants to go when the time comes here at home.
Please give me any advice I feel so sick to my stomach and always nerve’s I need legal advice so my sister could just leave me alone.
Thank you
Leticia

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I am going to assume that, as an accountant, you have access to attorneys in your area. Do contact an Elder Law Attorney and request a consult. Take all documents in your possession. If being sole caregiver to your Mom you perhaps should have a contract for payment drawn up with the rest of the family who does not participate. If not you may need to tell your family that you understand they are burned out because you are, as well. Then inform them that you will no longer be in sole care of your mother, that you cannot concentrate on your work and will have to get your own apartment, that Mom will require placement. Good luck. Hope you will update us.
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Mysteryshopper Jul 2020
I agree that she needs to take all documents with her. However, this might sound like common sense, but many don't do these things:
1. Make sure all mail is opened, sorted, and the most current is easily accessible.
2. Ask what documents you need for the appointment and make sure those will be easiest to find. Take other papers/documents as well, but in an organized fashion in case you need them. Get rid of the empty envelopes, junk mail, and inserts.
3. If there are any papers where you're not sure what they are, make an effort to find out what they are before your attorney appointment.
I have dealt with this myself and the affairs/paperwork of others can be a quickly growing mess when you're so stressed and busy providing care and working while sleep deprived as well. I want your attorney appointment to go smoothly so that you can start to see daylight again and get answers.
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I am sorry.  You need to start looking for a place to live.  Sometimes free rent is not worth it, it will only get worse.  I know this is a hard time to look for an apartment, but save your money, start packing
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Your mom would be eligible for Hospice and you would get some help with the Hospice Team. A nurse would be there to see her 1 time a week, a CNA would come in 2 or 3 times a week to help with bathing, dressing and ordering supplies. She would get medications delivered to the house. This is all covered by Medicare.

You should also realize that with the house being owned by mom and your aunt you can be asked to leave at any time. I would begin to look for a place to move to.

I agree with both Alva and Mysteryshopper that you need to take all the paperwork you have when you see the lawyer. One that specializes in Elder Care would be the best option.
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