Recently, my father’s dementia was diagnosed as Wernecke Korskoff. As well, Dr. stated that is unsafe for him to drive a vehicle. Issue is since he is being treated at a VA hospital, they are not allowed to report to the DMV for veterans privacy rights. I have spoken to our local DMV office and our state doesn’t have any Way, requesting a driver safety test of any sort? Must come from law enforcement or a doctor? At this point, my mother says he still drives from time to time again throughout the week. I tried to help as much as I can with their legal and financial issues, but , feeling like this is a battle I don’t think I should involve in any tips. Greatly appreciated. As always, thank you all for your responses
She took a "virtual" driving assessment through OT in our clinic network. They gave her a written test for executive function (judgment) and a physical reaction time test that involved standing in front of a large board covered in pressable buttons. They would light up and she'd need to press them. There were 4 versions of this test. She failed both executve and reaction testing. Then OT had to put it in her medical record and my Mom's primary doctor saw it and had to report it to the DPS. Then DPS sent out a letter of cancellation.
Maybe it's because your Father didn't take a specific driving assessment test? I would call your DPS and ask how to stop an unsafe driver.
FYI, Mom was very resistant to even seller her car. It's taken her about a month or 2 to come to acceptance. I didn't want to go to battle over the car and told her I wanted to give her the dignity of giving it up voluntarily. This acknowledgment seemed to help.
One final thing: I had an Uncle and Aunt whom I loved a lot. They built a 60-truck plumbing contracting business and were still going to the office part time in their early 90s. My cousins should have taken his car away. One day they were coming home from work in the afternoon and he went right through a red light and got t-boned on his wife's side, killing her (a 2-time cancer survivor) and the dog that was on her lap. Thankfully, the other victims were not seriously injured. My Uncle was mostly unscathed but had a dramatic cognitive decline immediately afterwards.
Please, please work to help your Mom keep the car from your Dad. Your Mom should NEVER be his passenger.
Whatever you have to do, you must do it to get him off the road before he kills or maims other people or even himself. This is nothing to take lightly. Why does your mother not make it her project to stop him? Disable his car, disable his key fob, remove the car, anything! How would you feel if you let this go and he kills someone?
My brother-in-law died on a beautiful Saturday morning when someone who shouldn't have been driving ran a stop sign and broadsided his car. BIL couldn't survive massive head injuries and died, leaving a young wife (also injured) and four children. I went to the accident scene a few days later to gather up things that had flown out of his wrecked car and saw bloody gauze that the EMTs left in the weeds at the side of the road when they were trying to stop the bleeding. Then I went to his house to cook dinner for his family. And I was crying all the way there and thinking, "Why didn't someone stop this guy from driving drunk?"
Someone may think that of your mom or you someday if you don't get your dad off the road, permanently.
You have reported him to the DMV.
Other than doing that, it isn't clear to me what else you CAN do, and I am utterly amazed that an MD will take no action in this, and would, instead, risk the lives of your Dad and anyone in his path.
I would go to the local police and discuss.
considering your mother is very fearful of Dad since there is a history of abuse ,
And since you say this isn’t a battle you really want to be involved in……
I would suggest that you tell your mother to leave him and take the car with her , and for her to go to a lawyer and get out of this abusive marriage . Short of that I see nothing else you can do .
The ball is in your mother’s court.
I hope there is only one car . If there are more , get rid of them , hide them , park them somewhere else until they can be sold .
If mom still drives, well, just have her tell your Dad that she needs to drive to help her keep her driving skills up. So whenever they go any place, your mom has her keys in her hand (your Dad won’t be able to find his keys) and she can say she wants to drive for a change. If Dad has dementia these kinds of “fibs” are necessary. Also, your mom will need to hide her keys where Dad can’t find them.
If neither mom or dad should drive, then you’ll have to make arrangements to get them where they need to be. Either drive them yourself or hire someone or family/friends can take turns driving them. Or there may be a service for elderly transportation in your area.
Here is why. My FIL saw both public and VA doctors. But his eye doctors were strictly from the VA. When they could no longer correct his vision to the required level, even with glasses - I can remember him saying to the eye doctor "I really hope you don't report this" or something along those lines.
And her words were "It's already been reported sir." This was a doctor employed by a VA Hospital and all appointments took place on the property of a VA Hospital.
Is it possible that the difference is because he could no longer SEE well enough to drive, vs no longer had the cognitive ability to do so? Maybe, but I find it hard to believe that they couldn't report it in some way.
Can you get the medical file and notes where they stated it is unsafe and provide THAT to the DMV, then take your father in for a driver's test so that he can "prove" to you that he is capable of driving?
Often the decision to remove driving privileges is left to the family. There are more subtle ways to prevent them from driving - but often they won't agree until someone forces them and makes sure they don't have access to a driveable vehicle.
OMG! This issue of allowing folks with a broken brain to drive is so beyond maddening to me that I can't even see straight. Actually it makes me want to use some choice swear words, but that is frowned upon on this forum.
Your father driving with dementia is NO different than someone driving drunk or high on drugs, and God forbid that he were to hit and kill some innocent family or even your mother. Would you be able to live with yourself, knowing that you could have or should have done something to stop him?
And know too that if your father were involved in a horrific car accident and either severely injured or killed someone and it was discovered that he in fact had dementia, he could be sued for everything he has and he and your mother could lose everything.
PLEASE....it's not worth any of this. Time to take action now to save the lives of all those innocent people who haven't a clue that there's a man driving a deadly weapon with a broken brain on the same road that they're on.
Trust me, you'll be able to sleep much better at night as will your mother when he's permanently off the road.
Do the right thing.