Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My mom who has dementia is very against leaving my house, but she has been very demanding of me and my time. I don't have time for my husband or myself I also care for my grandson. How do I tell her I can no longer handle it?
Take a tour of a couple of facilities. Alone. Choose which one you like best, start the ball rolling as far as getting your mom placed. The facility will have a social worker who will work with you. Let him/her know your mom's position on this and take his/her suggestions.
In the meantime begin priming your mom to leave. Continue to let her know that you can no longer take care of her.
I don't know what the social worker will suggest as to how to get your mom to actually move out of your house. Sometimes people have to wait for an emergency to make a change. This could be a fall or a particularly bad case of sundowner's. Any situation in which you have to call an ambulance. It can be a minor emergency.
But first start working with a social worker at an assisted living of your choosing.
I think the approach to dealing with her in this regard, depends on how progressed she is with dementia. At some stages, the person is very confrontational and disagreeable. It's tough then, because, no matter what you say, she may reject. Later, the short term memory is so poor, that no matter what you say, she will forget. So, even if she agrees to go, she may forget and feel differently the next day. It's not easy, but, with persistence, it's doable. There are some good tips on dealing with people who have dementia on You tube, called Teepa Snow on dementia.
I worked with my LO's doctor, who prescribed AL for her. Due to repeated falls, she needed PT, plus medication that she could not take on her own. There were so many things that AL could offer her, so, she agreed to go, since the doctor said it really was necessary. We called it rehab and she adjusted to the idea. Of course, once there, she soon forgot and considered it normal. She soon considered it her home.
I'd be careful of having an expectation that you can explain how it's too much for you to handle and that it would be in her best interest to go to AL, because dementia often causes that rational and reasonable person to become something quite different and she may not be able to process it. They often have what is called magical thinking. And they may believe things that are totally not reasonable. And they may not be aware of their behavior.
My Mom was to the point she just went along. Since she no longer had short term memory I didn't see the point in telling her ahead. We moved her in while she was at daycare. When she came home we took her to the AL telling her along the way that she was going to her own apartment.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Take a tour of a couple of facilities. Alone. Choose which one you like best, start the ball rolling as far as getting your mom placed. The facility will have a social worker who will work with you. Let him/her know your mom's position on this and take his/her suggestions.
In the meantime begin priming your mom to leave. Continue to let her know that you can no longer take care of her.
I don't know what the social worker will suggest as to how to get your mom to actually move out of your house. Sometimes people have to wait for an emergency to make a change. This could be a fall or a particularly bad case of sundowner's. Any situation in which you have to call an ambulance. It can be a minor emergency.
But first start working with a social worker at an assisted living of your choosing.
I worked with my LO's doctor, who prescribed AL for her. Due to repeated falls, she needed PT, plus medication that she could not take on her own. There were so many things that AL could offer her, so, she agreed to go, since the doctor said it really was necessary. We called it rehab and she adjusted to the idea. Of course, once there, she soon forgot and considered it normal. She soon considered it her home.
I'd be careful of having an expectation that you can explain how it's too much for you to handle and that it would be in her best interest to go to AL, because dementia often causes that rational and reasonable person to become something quite different and she may not be able to process it. They often have what is called magical thinking. And they may believe things that are totally not reasonable. And they may not be aware of their behavior.