Mom is 91 years old and has dementia. Every once in a while she decides that she does not want to get out of bed in the morning. I let her sleep until 11 and then wake her up. She usually gets up happy and we start the day in a pleasant manner. Maybe every two weeks or so she will not get out of bed. I hear I feel sick, my legs hurt ( she has severe arthritis) or some other excuse. I start at 11 and come in every hour and try to get her up so she can get some nourishment and liquids. Today its now 1:30 and she will not budge? Could this be the beginnings of depression? I welcome any thoughts or suggestions. Thank you
Once in a while we have to have a talk about what happens to people who don't get up and eat... they get weak, they get frail, they die. And that I can't care for her if she becomes totally bed bound, not necessarily true but as long as it motivates her...
It takes my mom a good 2+ hours to wake up and be interested in eating.
She used to refuse to get up to go to the bathroom and be so mean & loud to the assistants. I always marveled that she didn't have one big butt sore from staying in wet Depends too long, despite their efforts. Now that she is totally incontinent, the staff at the NH just change her. It's a matter of skin preservation, not patient preference.
Just off the top of my head.....
Turn on all the lights, open the drapes, and make sure the room is bright for day time. Turn on some music as you announce it's time to get up.
Sometimes they will respond to a rhythmical song better than talking, so tell her it's time to get up, and then approach her where she can see you, take her arm to help her up while singing something like "oh when the saints go marching in" or something she would have known in early life. "She'll be coming round the mountain", etc. "She'll be going to the bathroom right away - yes sir!"
Don't be easily swayed by complaints and fussing. Just be persistent. Some days will be good, some not. At some point, it may be helpful to have a lift.
There's also the fact that at 91, she just needs more sleep and rest than she would have when she was younger.
Are there are any physical issues or meds she's taking that could cause her to be more tired and unenthused about getting up?
But if it begins to get more frequent or interferes with the next few days here are some suggestions.
Address the pain issue. Discuss with her doctor good ways to do this. Maybe extra sleep is a good thing on those days.
Light! Open all the curtains/drapes/shades. Turn on lights.
Caffeine. I am seeing a sleep specialist who suggests treating my "Sleep Inertia.".by having a cup of coffee while still in bed, resting another 20 minutes until the caffeine kicks in, and then getting up.
Voices and daytime noises. A radio or people talking elsewhere in the house or a television on somewhere help convince me that it really is time to be awake. (My problem does not include pain, so I don't know if this would apply to your mother.)
But really, I think I'd let the dear old lady sleep in every few weeks! Maybe declare it an official Pajama Day. Offer to help her into a fresh nightie, etc. Help her to the bathroom and to take morning pills, and then either back to bed or sitting up in her most comfortable chair, dozing off as she wants to. I really don't think she is going to get frail and weak with a couple of Pajama Days a month, do you?
How many times have teenagers, who are healthy, sleep until noon? Plenty.