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The elderly parent is in skilled nursing - possibly MIS- DiAGNOSED with dementia (Ativan allergy) but the POA is not very pro-active on his mom's behalf. Refuses to transfer POA to his sibling and also refuses to allow his sibling to re-locate his mom to another state where the other sibling can stay on top of things. The parent is being over-sedated and really not getting the care she deserves. Lots of negligence - but everyone passes the buck. We are very worried that if something doesn't change, she will die before her time.

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How very distressing, Patty.

Does the son have both general and medical POA? General POA is typically about financial transactions and not power to decide where the principal lives. But, I suppose, if Brother is in control of paying for the care center, and refuses to pay for a different location, the technicalities may not matter -- the end result is the same. The medical proxy should have decision-making power over drugs, etc. Does Brother have that, too?

I know there are posters here who have gone through the guardianship process and I hope they'll share ballpark costs and how long it took. I understand that a court can decide that the person doesn't need a guardian, or to grant guardianship to the person petitioning for it, or to appoint a non-family member, so it doesn't always result in what the person bringing it to court wants or expects.

I think I'd start with a lawyer specializing in Elder Law and find out all of your options.

I don't see how your brother could transfer the POA to you. He doesn't "own" it and it is not his to give. If you are named in it as the backup and he steps down, then, yes, you'd have POA. But if you are not already on the document, then it is Mother who would have to change it. Is she competent to make such a decision? Does she have periods of being lucid or is she always too drugged to make coherent statements?

I hope you'll get some good background from other posters' experience here, and that you'll find an excellent attorney to help identify the pros and cons of the available options..
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It is horrible and expensive................we are trying to go a cheap route with negotiating and even that is 3000.00 - if negotiation fails, then a mediator charges you 300 and hour while your attorney charges you 200 an hour and by the time it is all done, My dad will have probably died still never havng receivied a penny of his va benefits..............
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In answer to jeannegibbs: It is actually my aunt and it is her tow children that are in conflict. The brother doesahave ALL POA and now that she has been diagnosed with dementia, I thought my aunt would not have any say. But, perhaps if and when she is lucid a new P.O.A. cold be done? Problem is, the cousin who wants to take control back is in a different state. She has been trying to get her brother to cooperate to no avail. Hence, the plan to try to get legal guardianship. It seems the only way now. I think she has a good case, considering the list of offenses the "Nursing Home" has committed, amongst them prescribing drugs that the patient is allergic to for months on end.
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I had the vague idea it was your aunt, but I didn't want to lose what I'd typed to go back and check other posts.

What a sad family situation. Not that it is likely to change the answer or the options, but do you have any ideas about why your male cousin is taking the stand he is? If it were just about laziness, the easiest course for him would be to hand off some of the work to his sister.
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nOPE - it is my flesh and blood mother - she not only destroed Dads life by moving him into a sub staandard facility, but this was not even a marriage by definiton - hecl he did not even have keys to the house = the parking lot at nursing home is practically at the door so she would not even have to walk a few feet wit t - I did not want to go tis route but she has given me no optionss - and she even has a marital agreement that says what was hs was his and hers was hers.........
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I hope you get many response to this guestion. I have the same question. Mom has a POA financial and that is it. No alternate. If my brother dies, I would have to get guardianship. I have explained this to her so many times but she is paranoid and a little crazy, so she doesn't believe me. I wish I could just get some real figures and information from someone who has been there and done that. It may, may make her do something.
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In our situation, the one with POA is convinced that his mom is hopeless now - doesn't understand that his mom has real trouble with drugs and that the dementia may very well be from the Ativan , since this has happened before. I think he is tired of his sister telling him this and that etc and now he is just being difficult. Seems now it is a "FIGHT" between him and his sister and he is not going to lose - even if it hurts his mom. He is convinced by the doctors or nurses that his mom needs to be extremely sedated because of her "condition." What they haven't tried is taking her off the drugs to let her recover. It can take awhile - a month or more - but for some reason no -one wants to try this. Particularly frustrating since we believe her "condition" with acting out and all that goes along with dementia was CAUSED BY THEM GIVING HER DRUGS IN THE FIRST PLACE. We know that there is a $150 filing fee. Plus $300 for court appointed attorney for the parent - although i think there are pro bono lawyers to help with that. But then the person seeking guardianship has to retain a lawyer - waiting to find out what this will cost and how much time it will take In the meantime still giving info to a newly assigned doctor about the drug allergy and drug reaction history. Hoping that he does care and is willing to listen and will act accordingly AS HER DOCTOR , because of course POA (medical and financial) is in the hands of another..I will post info on guardianship as I know more about cost etc.
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I have read it can cost quite a bit. Court costs, lawyer fees, bonding. All would depend on the assets of the parent for whom you are seeking guardianship . And of course, the relative who wishes to fight you because Mom does have some money.And the person seeking guardianship would be reimbursed for their money spent, hopefully. All of this because my Mom won't put an alternate on her power of attorney. I just can't get her to understand what could happen. Give me patience :(
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