Not been in other 2 sisters homes in 8 years, never seen their grandchildren know my children, We travelled camped had bbqs etc and her and I had a great time. we barely even disagreed. h*ll then took over, she was in a hospice at 84 dying of cancer, loved my other sisters, cant stand me. she once asked me to call my sister toi come and make me leave her bedside. on heavy doses of morphine etc. told me I never looked after her which I did and slept on my couch for several months. I was always there for her and was dismissed. if I told her I loved her she turned her face away and would not speak. my kids were the only ones who came to visit her and she loved that. even her great grandchild (6 yr girl) loved her and cried at home and also wanted to come to the funeral. what did I do so wrong to be so chastised and felt like idont belong here. I have so much sorrow in my heart because of this. Can anybody tell me why did she reject me . I cry every day because I miss her so much, so much, so much.
Of course you looked after her. Deep in her consciousness she knew that, knew that she was loved, and loved you. The pain and the morphine confused her. She was not "in her right mind" when she said those things to you.
The sorrow over your mother's passing is appropriate. You will never "get over it" but you will heal in time and be able to think more often of the good times than of the loss. But I hope you can let go now of the sorrow over things your mother said when she was not herself. That is certainly not how she would want you to remember her.
Peace and healing to you.
Our elderly parents aren't themselves toward the end. Your mom might have lashed out at you because she felt closest to you and safe enough with you. Our parents often reserve their negativity and/or bad moods for us and us only because they know we're always going to be there no matter what.
Did your mom die recently? If so, try to remember the good times you had with her and don't focus too much on the end. Easier said than done, I know, but as times goes by it'll be easier.