My mom went into assisted living in December after years of not properly caring for herself (mostly hygiene). She has never been a caring, loving mother. She has always told us she wishes we were never born,etc. So her living with one of us is not an option. Ever since finding out she has aUTI she is meaner than usual. She refuses the meds (she currently is on no medication at all). She has always had some mental health issues but has never been formally diagnosed (she hates doctors). Anyway is there anyway to make her take the meds? AL says they can't make her.
If this is important to you you could try to have her declared incompetent and become her guardian at that point you can force her to take her medications. (Or she would be appointed a Guardian by the court) She would probably have to be moved from Assisted Living to Memory Care. (Or at least be admitted to the hospital so her medications can be administered.)
Another option would be to let her do as she wishes for as long as she can. You could encourage her to take the medications or if she will not do that at least increase fluid intake, drink cranberry juice and or cranberry supplements. The infection will run its course and get better or get worse.
Sorry I'm not much help here but you can not force someone to do what you want them to do. You can try to motivate them, you can try to change their mind about something but you can not force someone. (short of restraining them). It also depends on the policy of the Assisted Living facility where she is do they administer medication? and if they do so will she be then charged for a higher level of care? (You might want to mention this to your mom if she is concerned about cost)
I remember the nursing home crushing pills for my Mom and placed into her favorite chocolate ice cream. What was interesting afterwards Mom wouldn't eat regular non-pill ice cream, she would say that it didn't taste good :)
Hugs 🤗
It's up to the attending doctor to talk her round. If the doctor won't or can't, and mother really does have an aggressive u.t.i., mother will eventually become so ill that consent will cease to be an issue temporarily (because she'll be incapacitated) and her next of kin or her representative will get to make the decision. If mother hasn't created any standing directive, it will then be possible to treat the infection.
I can understand that none of you would be exactly eager to take on the role of advocate for your mother. It's hard to fight for someone who has made her own feelings about you so painfully clear. Does anyone have power of attorney for her? Would it be possible to ask the ALF about finding somebody independent to do this?
On the other hand a little sleight of hand is sometimes all it takes - I watched an encounter where the nurse asked someone if she would taste her pudding as it was a new recipe and she wanted her opinion, of course the meds were mixed in the spoonful. After accepting the lady replied "well you sure as h** can't cook"!
If she does, and she understands that she may end up dead from the infection going septic, then it's her decision.
If she continues to refuse the antibiotics her bad attitude will get worse, this is a symptom of UTI in seniors. Then her system will become septic, full of toxin, and she could very well die without intervention and if it gets bad enough, she could very well die with intervention.
I would tell her that and see if it shifts her willingness to comply.
I am surprised that no one has mentioned this to her or you before, doctors and nurses, even CNAs know how serious this is.
You may be better served letting the state take over as her guardian, it is hard enough dealing with a senior without all the baggage she packed for you all.
Hugs, it is okay to not be her advocate, just make sure and get her one. She should be paying her own way also, you children should not be paying anything for her.
That being said there are some things they can try. One of the problems with a UTI is that it can cause a senior to become confused. I would ask the home to try and crush her medication and mix it with something she likes, applesauce, ice cream, pudding. Another thing they can do is request a liquid medication that can be mixed with something she likes to drink.
As long as she is competent, I would respect her health care decisions. And, if she's competent, perhaps she needs to sign an Advance Healthcare Directive that says exactly what she does not want in writing. Such as no antibiotics. This is not unusual for someone with a terminal illness. Is she terminally ill?
My dad was told to lay off his aspirin while they treated him with an antibiotic for I can’t remember whether it was an uti or bladder infection (he had blood in his urine). Well, he got confused and refused to take any of his other medications (sugar pill, lung pill, prostate pill, etc). No amount of me pleading worked as he only allowed me to give him the antibiotic. The only thing that worked was calling the doctor and begging him to call and get dad back on track. That was the only solution. What made it so bad was that sister did not notify me that while I was off dad had gone days without his medications.
Just wondering how things are going. Is Mom still refusing antibiotics. If so, how is she doing?