My 88 year old father who has advanced dementia has lived with my husband and I for almost 2 years now and one of the most difficult problems we face is his obsession with shaving. He has always been obsessed with his looks--wanting to look young, not wanting anyone to know his age, etc. It's strange now that he has forgotten absolutely everything about his past--he doesn't remember my mother at all who passed away 2 years ago nor anything else for 2 seconds but he remembers that he has just got to get the hair off his face and sometimes wants everything else shaved! I shave him in the morning with an electric razor and by late afternoon he is trying to rub the re-growth off with his hand and if I let him shave himself, he will shave until his face is bleeding. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
It won’t entirely eliminate the problem but it WILL shorten the time you have to be involved a bit.
Stubble can be irritating at the best of times, but follicles thicken with age and this could be even more uncomfortable.
Trying to shave someone with an electric razor may not adequately produce that silky smooth result (particularly with the ever increasing demands of the terrain!).
I find the extra effort (and pampering) of a blade used with aplomb will suffice once every few days with the electric device adequate for the intervening days.
Alternatively, your father might enjoy the services of a professional once or twice a month for a 'full treatment' (haircut, shave, manicure... wax??) - it may be more about feeling good than looking it (although one does presuppose the other, I guess).
You may want to consider a better shaver as good models (with sharp blades) rarely cause injury even when poorly handled. Supervision and setting time limits might save any compulsiveness, as well as gentle prompts if too much pressure seems to be being applied (as this is counterproductive and damages the device).
Failing all of the above, some well judged praise for how dignified he looks with a beard might sell the idea - longer beards become softer also.
Redirect! For some reason, my thought is to provide things with texture for him. A nubby pillow in his lap, for example. Something textural but safe. Is there a pet available, a dog or cat? I know sometimes a stuffed animal can sub in.
Silly putty. Toys that have a gel-like texture. A creamy aftershave?
Activities. Time for a walk. A snack.
I'm sorry, this all sounds so frustrating.
I was going to suggest the same thing!
I met a man like this when volunteering. Liked to look groomed, shirt pressed, shoes clean. Shaving! He would stand there shaving ALL DAY if you let him. I would have to put the shaver away out of sight - then showed him his comb. Hair combing! I could go do 10 other things & come back - still combing. Then I'd hide the comb & move him onto something else. Had to get his attention visually to shift his focus.
Try a comb? Least he can do that for longer without cutting himself.
Or if bald, a lint comb for his sleeve? I've seen people use these for ages too.
The male facial day includes warm towels, my attempt at a shave, mustache trim, a masque, a face massage; eyebrows, nose hair and ear hair trim, age serum and a moisturizer. He was quite the great looking guy, and insists on the same appearance now.
He is still at the point where he can understand that the spa day is "next Saturday.
I agree with other posters that complimenting, supporting self grooming actions, and some simple moisturizer or after shave application can do a world of good. ( My dad can't smell the after shave anymore, so I think it is the " feeling " of the application, that does the most good)
I was going crazy, thinking I was the only one thinking I had a guy, who wants to look like a dandy, male model.
It's exhausting.
How about an elect razor with heads removed, a regular razor with no blade.'
Do a quick afternoon shave on him, then give him the fake razor if her persists.
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