I think tough love is best with my elderly mother. After a health crisis, I firmly told my mother to come home with me. My narcissistic brother gave in to her desires to go to her home. His "plan" involved me and his girlfriend dividing our time in her home. He didn't even bother to consult me. I tried at first, but backed away because he was too domineering, controlling and judgmental. Now, his girlfriend is backing away also. He is taking time off from work to care for mom himself rather than admitting that he was wrong. This has been ongoing for 6 weeks. He and mom are in this co-dependent dance. He gets narcissistic supply and she gets to stay in her home even though she can't care for herself. He is currently on FMLA leave without pay. I fear that his next step will be to take control of her money....out of necessity. He is acting as gatekeeper. He recently changed her locks so I no longer have a key to her home. When I call, he often answers and won't let me talk to her. Do I have any legal remedies?
I am hoping that you read my post because some states carry laws protecting the elderly under such circumstances as what had happened to your Father. Speak to an Elder Attorney as it can be illegal to make alterations to an elderly persons assets within five years of their death, even if a person has a legal Power of Attorney or regardless if the elderly person has alzhiemers/dementia. A P.O.A. gives an individual the right to sign anothers checks, but in doing so legally you sign their name, then yours followed by POA. All checks written against the bank account can be interpretted by the family or an attorney if there are any questions regarding an elders bank account and how that money was spent.
In the state where I live, if anyone tries to move assets of any sort, into their name, for whatever reason within five years prior to the elderly person passing away and gets caught doing so they are automatically thrown into jail along with whatever fines the judge deems fit for the crime. Making the family members entitled to recovery of those assets, be it a home, property, cash, automobiles, etc.
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