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I have a 41 year old son with severe physical limitations. He uses a power chair, voice activated computer and Alexa to manage most of his environment. Not able to do any ADLs on his own. Cognitively he is fine, although because of anxiety and depression he struggles. Last year he started having very mild absence seizures. I am a single mom and worked full-time until an early retirement. Now I am working part-time at a job I love. My problem is I am not sure what to do with my son during working hours. The local ARC has a day program but he is not cognitively impaired, so that is not his peer group but he needs full support for feeding, toileting, scratching itches, etc. Thus far I have a ragtag system in place to support him but it is unraveling. I'm not sure if an Adult Day Health Program is right for him. I don't want him at home just sleeping (which he does now). Any advice and\or insight is welcome.

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Have you gone to the Adult Day Program to see what it is like, what the activities are and the participants? If so what is your gut reaction? Is it a program that he would fit into and get benefit from? If so have you discussed it with him? And if he is anxious and has depression he may be hesitant. (we are all hesitant going into something new, no one feels comfortable the first day / week of school, a job, camp, anything!)
You could check with the Epilepsy Foundation and see if there are programs in your area that he might participate in. Most "medical conditions" have a "Foundation" or "Association" that has information on programs or groups that might give you more ideas. (I hope that made sense)

If your "ragtag system" is unraveling do you know why and is there a way you can prevent the unraveling? Unless his needs are more than the system can manage then you do need more than a "ragtag" system.
And I hate to mention it, not to be more of a downer... but what happens when you can no longer help him...has that been taken care of?
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Attamom Aug 2022
Thank you. Great advice and some things I hadn't thought about.
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Our state has a VERY vigorous program for young people who “age out” after competing what they receive under the public education offerings at age 21.

I can’t remember all the acronyms, but you might get some help contacting a sympathetic ally in state politics.

I spent most of my career focused on inclusion for multiply handicapped, cognitively intact children and young people, but we DID have access to post HS graduation programs that were adapted individually. I actually participated in a lawsuit many years ago, demonstrating that even with seemingly overwhelming physical disabilities, cognitive skills COULD be tapped, to benefit both the individual students and society as a whole.

It would seem to me that with your son’s grasp of technology, there might be some kinds of things that he could do that could be be both satisfying and useful.

I hope you have the energy to pursue a search for something that can use that man’s skills. He deserves that chance and so do you. Please keep coming here.
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Just have to say that the ARC is not just for the mentally challenged. Its also for the physically challenged. My nephew works there because of his physical disabilities. He lives in his own apartment. Orders on-line and can take care of himself.

I suggest you contact your County Disability Dept to see what is available to your son. My Mom was in Adult Day Care but most of the people were older than 40. Medicaid may pay for the DC. They did take those people who were able to go on outings. I just saw advertised that our Senior Bussing does outings. Try Office of Aging. The two Depts maybe combined. They are in my County.
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