My 75 YO sister in New York State suffered a stroke 12 weeks ago and has right side hemiplegia (paralysis). She is now at her home and receiving 24/7 care from her boyfriend. He has convinced her to move most of her assets to a trust with him as trustee so she will meet the $31,000 asset limit required by Medicaid and use the NYS Medicaid Diversion Program for long-term in-home care. The trust is not completed yet. The boyfriend is her Health Care and Financial POA and beneficiary to her estate (named in Will). No one in our family thinks the boyfriend is acting in my sister's best interest. We have seen many signs of emotional abuse of my sister from the boyfriend such as isolating her from family and friends, she has to disconnect phone calls when he enters the house, threatening violence against siblings, etc. Social Services has already visited the home once. My sister does not acknowledge any abuse and thinks the boyfriend is wonderful! How can her family intervene/rescue my sister?
Your sister has chosen this person to look after her for now at least . I think it would be better to try to stay on good terms with your sister , so she would be willing to tell you of any problems , and so she would allow visits , so you can get a view of how she is being cared for .
It is possible your sister now has a cognitive impairment, either from the stroke or the onset of dementia, since she is "old enough" to have this start being a problem. They can make up confabulations and have delusions, and also paranoia. The isolation part is worrisome. Has your family ever tried to go there unannounced to visit? If so, do you get turned away at the door?
Is he as old as she is? This isn't a good plan for either of them since a PoA or trustee should ideally be a generation younger than oneself.
I agree with Waytomisery that you don't have much power in this situation but I would still consult with an attorney for the state of NY just to make sure no stone is unturned. A PoA (in my state) is not obligated to show the document to anyone except a judge if it is taken that far. You may want to confirm that he is actually the PoA and that she meets the definition of legal "capacity" to create the trust. This has to be done through an attorney.
You sisbling has a partner. Time to accept that fact. He was her partner before the stroke and he is now. She has CHOSEN him to be her beneficiary. She has chosen him to manage her care and be her caregiving. She has chosen him to be her POA.
Quite honestly, as someone now living with my partner for 38 years (we are in our 80s, are one another's beneficiaries on some items and have our Trusts created many years ago, are also one another's POAs) I am here to tell you that this isn't your business. If you had no reason to suspect an abusive situation before the stroke, you don't really now either. You are siblings, not spouses, not even children.
If you have EVIDENCE of fraud or abuse call APS for wellness check and you can also see an attorney to have examined by the court (should the court so choose) how the POA is being managed. Other than that this is out of your control. APS is very unlikely to interfere in a long standing relationship and the court is unlikely to examine without proof and good reason, and will be a cost to you.
Good luck, I hope your sibling has a good recovery, and the protection of the man she loves.
I'm so sorry for the situation your family is in but unfortunately there really isn't much you can do about it. Your sister chose her boyfriend to be in charge of her care, her life, and her assets. If he has unsavory intentions and thinks he's going to get her estate while Medicaid pays for her care in a facility or at home, he will be in for a surprise.
Try to stay on his good side and on hers but be observant. If you notice anything off or you suspect something going on, keep a record. You may need it if APS and the courts have to get involved.
This Trust you speak of is not completed yet. Would your sister be agreeable to a clause being put into it that she will have regular contact with her family? Or that you can be made joint POA for both her finances and medical decisions? How this works is the boyfriend can't spend a dime without you signing off on it as well and he won't be able to prevent you from having contact with your sister. Can you go have a talk with whatever lawyer your sister is using to make the POA and Trust? Can you go with your sister to see him without her boyfriend's knowledge and have yourself also put on as POA?
You need to talk HRA or something to see what is what.
There is only one type of Trust that will protect one's assets from Medicaid, and that is an "Irrevocable Trust". The owner of the Trust cannot use any of the assets, not even for a medical emergency. The assets are saved only for the person who will receive the assets after your sister passes.
There is always a chance that your sister could hopefully recover from her stroke, and when she does, that money would be unreachable for her use should she need it. I know this can be complicated if someone is unfamiliar with such a Trust.
The only person who can possibly change our sister's mind would be the Elder Law Attorney him/herself. The Attorney always looks out for the best interest of their client.