My MIL is in assisted living. She was doing quite well going to the shopping center, buying groceries and relatively adjusting for a couple of months. However, while she was living with us, she frequently thought someone was going to pick her up and drive her somewhere (both the someone and the where was a physical impossibility because we didn't live within driving distance.) We didn't argue with her as she would just go out to the parking lot and eventually come back in saying that the people hadn't shown up. She is now doing that at the AL and they are probably going to put a wandering monitor on her and perhaps she won't be able to get outside anymore. Should I tell them this was common behaviour for her and relatively harmless? On one hand her grasp of what is reality isn't very accurate, or the other hand she seems to manage fairly well in her alternative reality.
so don't think your MIL is the only one with this problem! ...If someone met my mom, they would think she was OK. But she's not. she can just cover it up. If you spent time with her, it becomes more apparent that she not all there.
she can still dress and eat etc. BUT she has no short term memory so how can anyone expect her to be normal? PLUS her decision making and rational thinking is poor.
anyway, the AL employees know (as time passes) which residents need more assistance. and which residents need to be watched. once someone is caught trying to leave, bothering other residents or being aggressive, etc. ...they may ask the LO to get involved or perhaps move to MC
If you feel like telling the AL about your MIL past behavior, I see no problem with that. If I have some concern about my moms behavior, I always just pop in the office (or call) of the care manager and just have a conversation.
I think whatever my mom does, or what she will be doing as her dementia progresses, that the AL has seen and dealt with before.
this may not be the same at every AL, but that's how it is pretty much at my moms AL
A congenial guy in my mother's NH showed people in the lunch room his ankle monitor. He didn't seem annoyed with it. In fact he seemed kind of proud. But after several weeks he no longer came to the dining room. They "moved him upstairs" (to the secure memory unit) because the monitor was not enough to keep him from wandering. Roxann17, if they want to try a monitor with your mom I would sure give it a try. Tell your mother it measures blood pressure or it is for a study and they need some healthy people to compare to the sick ones or any story you can think up other than "you can't remember where you are and this is to keep track of you." Nope. Protect her dignity.
The NH talked about moving my mother upstairs because she screamed a lot in the middle of the night, but that went away as she settled in.
Does your MIL's ALF have a memory unit as part of their campus?
You see the quaint behavior of your mildly demented MIL, who I assume was functioning BETTER at that point in her life, before AL.
So tell them and take a chance (your MIL sounds like she’s adjusted to AL well) on anything from moving her to a wander alarm on her ankle.