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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Recently our mom has started refusing her meds fir heart, high blood pressure, etc. I have tried to no avail to get her to take them take them with me. With others, can they cajole her into taking her meds but refuses with me. Suggestions?
You tell us in your profile that your mom is 86 and that she has Alzheimer's, is incapacitated in so far as mobility goes, is incontinent, and etc.
Really, at some point these medications, and what will happen for the lack of them is a somewhat moot point. There comes a time when life is an onerous battle for a meaningless existence and a battle over medications simply is not worth it.
It's time to have "THE discussion" with your mother's doctor. Exactly which medications MUST be given and how do the doc propose that can be accomplished? Short of putting them in food where they are often tasted, there are few ways to get this done finally. Is hospice or palliative care now an option for your Mom, and etc. It is time for the hard questions and the uncomfortable answers. I am very sorry. Not everything can be fixed, and for refusal to swallow medications? Very few bullet-proof options exist.
I would discuss this with the doctor who prescribed the meds. Perhaps given the current list of conditions and mom’s confusion, some or all of them can be discontinued. When my dad chose home hospice, many of his long term meds were discontinued, meds he’d long been assured were vital. We were all amazed to see no change at all minus them, he was the exact same. It can also be true, despite mom’s dementia, that she’s showing you that she’s had enough of this life. Both my parents reached this point. It was so hard, but also understandable. I wish you both peace
As my mother’s dementia progressed she stopped doing anything I asked of her , showers, incontinence care , change clothes , eat food other than cookies , etc.
This and the fact that she was no longer safe alone , led to her being placed in assisted living , where she continued to refuse her diuretic pill on and off because she didn’t want to have to pee . She understood what could happen by refusing it , but did not care anymore . She said “ whatever happens , happens”. Her last 3 months she was “ wanting it to be over”.
Let Mom live on her terms at this point . Perhaps she is hoping to not prolong her life with dementia .
I would crush them up or if they are liquid even better and out them in a smoothie or milkshake or even pudding is good .. maybe in her oatmeal in the morning ? Just sneak them in something she eats .. good luck 🙏
There are many meds that cannot be crushed or split, must be taken whole. Best check with the pharmacist before doing this with any medication. Even after crushing, a bitter taste that’s hard to mask can still persist
In his last few months, my dad had swallowing issues. He was eating almost nothing (small amounts of vanilla cream only) and drinking only a few sips per day. He lived surprisingly long like that. Quite often, he would pretend to take the pills but then hide them.
As AlvaDeer said, there comes a point where taking the meds no longer matters.
In his final days, the only med that mattered was morphine and they gave him that in liquid form. I don’t even think he needed to swallow it.
Sometimes they know this meds are keeping them alive and they just don't want them anymore.
Sometimes it's a matter of just figuring out the right thing to say. I took care of this one lady she wouldnt take her meds for me for nothing. She would tell me, I know "they" set you up to this. Finally I told her your right , "they" did, and I'm so sorry but "they' won't let me come anymore and see you if you won't take your meds. She really liked me, she took those pills so quick after that, and Everytime I saw her after. This could of backfired on me and of been worse, but for this one time it worked.
Maybe tell your mom , they won't let you visit any more unless she takes her meds.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Really, at some point these medications, and what will happen for the lack of them is a somewhat moot point. There comes a time when life is an onerous battle for a meaningless existence and a battle over medications simply is not worth it.
It's time to have "THE discussion" with your mother's doctor. Exactly which medications MUST be given and how do the doc propose that can be accomplished?
Short of putting them in food where they are often tasted, there are few ways to get this done finally. Is hospice or palliative care now an option for your Mom, and etc.
It is time for the hard questions and the uncomfortable answers.
I am very sorry.
Not everything can be fixed, and for refusal to swallow medications? Very few bullet-proof options exist.
This and the fact that she was no longer safe alone , led to her being placed in assisted living , where she continued to refuse her diuretic pill on and off because she didn’t want to have to pee . She understood what could happen by refusing it , but did not care anymore . She said “ whatever happens , happens”.
Her last 3 months she was “ wanting it to be over”.
Let Mom live on her terms at this point . Perhaps she is hoping to not prolong her life with dementia .
As AlvaDeer said, there comes a point where taking the meds no longer matters.
In his final days, the only med that mattered was morphine and they gave him that in liquid form. I don’t even think he needed to swallow it.
Sometimes it's a matter of just figuring out the right thing to say. I took care of this one lady she wouldnt take her meds for me for nothing. She would tell me, I know "they" set you up to this. Finally I told her your right , "they" did, and I'm so sorry but "they' won't let me come anymore and see you if you won't take your meds. She really liked me, she took those pills so quick after that, and Everytime I saw her after. This could of backfired on me and of been worse, but for this one time it worked.
Maybe tell your mom , they won't let you visit any more unless she takes her meds.
Best of luck