My Father had a heart attack 2 years ago. At that time they replaced his pacemaker with a pacemaker defibrillator. Since then his dementia has increased and he is not eating. Shortly after he came home from the hospital 2 years ago he got a feeding tube because he was deteriorating rapidly. We did this with the hopes that his appetite would return and life would get back to normal. But that didn't happen. He still has the feeding tube and has gotten very weak. He sleeps all day but has no quality of life and he's sad. A few weeks ago he went on hospice. Since then we had his defibulator shut off but his pacemaker was still going to be operating. Last week his pacemaker began to beep indicating a low battery. Given his condition I don't think a doctor will be willing to put him under to change the battery. I'm very torn. I don't want my father to suffer but I don't want my lack of action to accelerate his demise. When he's awake he's alert and aware of the fact that he's been in bed all day, every day...and he's sad. Should I try to pursue getting the pacemaker battery changed? I'm very conflicted. Any insights would be appreciated. Thank you.
I would contact the cardiologist that installed it and find out what is causing the battery to be going.
Honestly, I wouldn't put him through it. It's a pretty easy surgery for the battery but, you will have to remove him from hospice to have it done and he might not make it through and he will be put under anesthesia, so the risk of further decline is great.
My dad was not doing well and he had a triple bypass, all because the surgeon wanted to operate. He did not make it out of the hospital. He was pacing 70% of the time and lasik wasn't pulling the water off anymore. My point is that you will find a surgeon willing to operate, even if they know that certain death is the end result, do not use that as your determining factor.
Look at the quality of his life and decide from that.
I am so sorry that you are losing your dad. May God give you strength and wisdom to make this decision.
If it was my child, I’d do whatever I could as they have so much life left to live. But with my parents, I wouldn’t prolong the inevitable, just for my own sake. They wouldn’t want me to. And I don’t think I’ll like to suffer that way either.
My mother has advanced dementia & I pray every day that God takes her Home. Her quality of life is dramatically reduced and she's in pain every single day. I would never take ANY life extending measures for her under any circumstances, so I say these words to you as if it were my mother I was making this decision for.
There comes a time when extending an elder's life is nothing but cruel. Allowing them to transition into the next stage of their life is the best thing we can possibly do for them, in my humble opinion.
I'm sorry for your situation, and I wish you peace with your decision.
I am caring for my mom since her stroke and several times have had to “think really hard” about what mom would want (and I say this from the ICU after her stroke to toxic encephalopathy - feeding tubes though she now eats on her own to even some of the bad UTIs before I knew about how awful they are - each time I think about moms wishes - sometimes I even take out her health care proxy etc and re-read her wishes several times before I choose anything for her. I feel comfortable that when the time comes that I will honor my moms wishes - as well as make any decisions that would always protect her to comfortably pass when it’s her time - I think because we are close and always had these talks that I know my mom is not afraid to go when it is her time - she talked about it as her beautiful next journey so I know these talks will always help guide me and I’m grateful for those talks we always had.
It so hard making choices for someone else and to feel we are choosing what they would choose. I think you are here asking From pure love and I believe you don’t even need us to help answer this - I think you know and you came here for support and You will receive all the support in the world - you deserve to feel comfort in knowing your Dad will be okay and you don’t need to put him Through anything else - he knows you would if it would give him something better. I’m giving you the biggest hug and wishing you peace and comfort.
When my mom was well into dementia, she developed heart block which required a pacemaker. My brother's and I all held joint POA for health. My mother would not have wanted this in her younger days, but we asked her if she wanted the surgery and that the alternative was dying rather quickly and painlessly. She thought about it for a few moments and said "yes" she wanted the PM.
FGRINSTIX, can you ask him in one of his lucid moments?
prolonging life … but the way I tht about it was … even if these measures were to be successful… what quality of life are they coming back to … . And would they want it ??? The next day g-d had taken the decision out our hands and my husband passed. Anyhow always lots great advice here … this site always been my go-to .. hope helps you too … good luck !!!
P.S. - two years seems like a short life span for a pacemaker battery. Are you sure this is what the beeps are about?
I had to consider quality of life versus quantity of life with my brother when I chose to put him in hospice. Would you and your dad want to continue this very sad life? In some ways you answered your question. I don’t believe you are hastening his life. The pacemaker extended his life when it was very appropriate. All the lifesaving technologies have their place but the end of life isn’t that time. By the time I placed my brother in hospice my goal was quality of life and comfort. You may want to ask yourself if you were in his place, would you want a new battery? Getting closer to the final good bye is never easy.
If hospice is against it, simply revoke the hospice (sign a piece of paper) and his regular Medicare will pay for it. When discharged put him BACK on hospice by signing a piece of paper. It's really very simple. You won't even need a doctor's order to reinstate it. As long as a hospice doctor never discharged him due to improvement he will always be on hospice whether you revoked it or not. So even if you are not happy with your hospice, you can fire them by signing that paper and put him on a new hospice by signing a paper and no doctor order is needed.