To report or not to report....... Dealing with Home Care Agency. Suggestions?

When I've had problems I've talked with the caregivers directly.

We've used agency and also direct pay.

Our direct pay caregivers many times work other jobs. I'm okay with them taking a shower if they overnight and have to go to their next job at a nursing home etc.

I've also had direct pay caregivers work 24 hours or more. I'm okay if they take showers in these situations.

Be aware there is a major shortage of caregivers in the US right now.

I don't think the answer is cut and dried - no pun intended. It really depends on what works for all of you. I had pretty much 24/7 care for my mom for 5 YEARS with 1 nationally known agency - initials HI. Through effort, stress, anger, and anguish, I made it work for me. This particular franchise is not well run, but it did attract some good helpers, which I worked hard to get - and keep. Basically I ran the operation as my own sub company and most of the helpers considered me their boss, not HI. Yes, I know it all sounds kind of crazy but there is no ideal agency with perfect helpers. Plus there are caregiver shortages everywhere. So... bottom line. What are you and your mom open to? My mom had dementia, so on some level she probably would have enjoyed being part of a hair coloring session. Is the helper really good but stressed and just needs to run through some laundry while she is with your mom? Yes, it all sounds crazy and unacceptable on its face, but you're right. Will the new helpers be worse? Will your mom go into anxiety with new people? IMHO you set the boundaries, and those boundaries may not exactly match the rules or what all of us think you should do. It's easy to say unacceptable, fire them. But again this is not a perfect world.Remember the end goal: good care for your mom. Make it happen in whatever way works best for you. Oh, and I would NOT try to hire people myself. The obvious paperwork for payroll, plus if they get sick and can't show up, guess who's going to be doing the care. Good luck!

Speak to them directly.

I'm not clear about the 24/7 arrangement. Are the caregivers staying in your mother's home, or arriving from elsewhere for 8 hour shifts, or what?

If they're actually living there, even if temporarily, then of course they would expect standard domestic conveniences. Colouring one another's hair might be a bit much, but using the shower (obviously!) and even the washing machine isn't.

If they aren't living in then I can't imagine why this hasn't already been tackled. But seeing as it hasn't, call the agency and get the ground rules sorted out. (Your mother hasn't told them it's fine to use the shower and the washing machine or anything, has she?)

We also never would have been able to afford continued private at-home care with an agency.

When you use an agency the caretaker only earns a small amount of what you’re paying.

The benefits of using a service (providing substitute workers and processing paychecks) were outweighed by the cost savings for us.

Once you find someone you like, a “nanny” payroll service charges a nominal fee for processing payment (withholding, etc).

They only thing the 'caregivers' are doing in assisting your mother -- is assisting her in wasting her money.

Your mother is not receiving the services the 'caregivers' are being paid to do. ABSOLUTELY REPORT THEM -- and find new caregivers! Your mother is being disrespected and that is intolerable. I would make certain to make that agency famous and report to licensing agency.

Having employed caretakers via an agency for my 95 yo mother, this is my personal take on this situation, as described: You contracted with an agency, not the individual caretakers. It is the agency that provides the liability insurances, takes care of taxes, etc, etc. Thus, if there is an issue with a caretaker, I talk to the agency. Especially since if I personally spoke to the caretaker, without any other 'witness', what I said could be misconstrued or misheard/interpreted. I feel it is the agency's responsibility to discipline.

I don't care how many hours the caretaker is employed - if they are 'on the clock' and being paid for their time, then their sole and total responsibility is for taking care of the patient. If they are performing personal things during that time, in essence, YOU are paying them to color their hair; YOU are paying them to make personal calls; YOU are paying them to do their laundry (without permission to use your appliances); and YOU are paying them to take a shower and thereby endanger your parent by not having supervision.

Some may counter - well, the caretakers don't make very much. Well, EVERY service industry employee is underpaid - it doesn't provide the excuse that they can 'make up' for the smaller wages by engaging in other behaviors. For example, what if your flight attendant was busy making a personal call on her cell phone while making the final take-off checks, or was putting on a coat of nailpolish while in-flight? Would that be o.k?

Hiring a independent careprovider - they would need to be bonded and insured; you would need to talk to your homeowner's insurance (liability, personal injury, etc) and your cpa/tax prep expert; also check with your state/county/city for things like unemployment insurance etc. There is a lot that goes into hiring independents.

Finally, if expressing dissatisfaction with service, make sure they don't have a key or access to a key (could make a copy). And I always worried about retaliation. That is why going through a highly reputable agency that pays well (not all of them do)is utmost important

My mom has aides daily m-f for 5 hours. I am tired of awful caregivers . I finally let loose and told the company that I did not want xyz to come back. My husband works from home and caregiver was sitting on his chair with her shoes off , leaned back, playing on phone. Mom is pretty easy so no. We aren’t Doing that I told them I wanted someone else. Why should I pay for a bad caregiver. We have 3 girls now. One is okay. The other is great and the other on Saturdays is fantastic. If you don’t say anything then nothing will change. You are paying if they aren’t providing good service then go with another company. My current company was on strike three when they finally lined up the current provided. Don’t tolerate sucky care.

jeanmarie12: Imho, your mother's place of residence is NOT a beauty salon. The actions of the caregivers are appalling.

I’m tough too. After my mom was robbed of her valuable jewelry. All if it. And we caught the aide who did it. From an agency and we prosecuted. She also stole and used 4 credit cards. The agency was “shocked” because she seemed like such a nice agreeable person and everyone liked her. We fired them too.
nothing can replace my moms stress and the loss of her wedding and engage rings. And all the rest of her jewelry. It happened Over the holidays as well.
of the agency you use isn’t supportive at provided good qualified and compassionate people to care for your mom (you said it was 24/7), you need to keep shopping. I know it’s rough. Been dealing with this for over 10 years now. Twice we’ve had phenomenal aides, but the majority of the ones hired through agencies gave not been. And the minute you become reluctant to complain means you are settling and that’s not good. If these people can’t do what they’re supposed to do, they need to go. And quickly. For everyone’s well bring. We waited too long and settled. And the horrific events that transpired was the result.

In a word, Fire them. You need caregivers who are attentive to your mothers needs. Period. Coloring each other’s hair is not what you pay the aides for. Also, they need to be paying attention to your mother not on their phones when with her. This is on your fine or hers. And is not acceptable behaviour.

So either report them to the agency or hire another agency. That’s the bottom line. They are Care givers. Not beauticians. Sorry to be so blunt.

Coloring each other’s hair! I don’t think so. Why are there two aides anyway? You are being taken advantage of and your mother is correct: she is being disrespected. Call the agency and tell them you want new aides as your mother isn’t doing well with the current ones. You don’t have to go into detail (however I would). Meantime, call a local church or ask friends if they know anyone who does homecare. Or place an ad in a local/community free paper. You can’t do any worse!

If you have two people hired to be there at the same time and they have time to color their hair, it would seem one person could do the job. Get rid of the buddy system and reevaluate what the agency told you the caregiver tasks would be.

I wouldn't have a problem w/someone washing a load of clothes once a week - but more than that is too much. Make a daily task list from your agency contract and have the solo employee check off each task as completed.

Once you allow an employee to do things that they should be doing, it's not an employee problem - it's a problem with employer for not saying anything.

It's hard to find good honest people today; which is a shame for our LO's. Even though the care they give; when they do give it, is helping her; you need to let the agncy know what's going on. I'm lucky enough; actually Mom is lucky enough; to have a retired nurse who was working with seniors at the hospital she retired from for nearly 30 years. She's a Godsend and has Mom engaged nearly the entire time she's been here; going on 6 months. She's here M-F from 8a-1p; give or take depending on if she's able to come a couple hours on Sat afternoon to make her lunch & give her her meds so I don't have to take off work early. I also let her know that she can wash her cloths here if needed since she does my Mom's and that might be a half a load at max. Never once thought twice with her here, so I guess I'm lucky in that regards. She works thru an agency in our area called European Services at Home. From the personal experiences I've had with a few of them, I can't say anything bad. Give them a call if you live in Northern Illinois or Southern Wisconsin; I think they cover WISC also. They seem to vett their employees a lot more than most and their training for new caregivers also seems to be above what other agencies do. Good luck & God Bless.

Nanny cam.

Get independent caretakers. You will be happier! Don’t report the infractions until the new caretakers are in place. Then do so, to prevent this from happening to others. Make sure the caretakers you are complaining about don’t have a key or other access, to take any revenge.

Remember that these people are your employees and they should be doing their job.

Your mom should feel delighted, not stressed by their arrival. I remember once a caretaker came to help me and Mom was so thrilled and ready for me to leave. It hurt my feelings a bit and then I realized that we had hired the right caretaker.

Get a copy of the expectations of caregivers from the agency.
Post copies in a few places in your mom/s home.
Let caregivers know these are just reminders for everybody.
If you see a problem, "remind" the caregiver of the expectation list.
If the problem is repeated, report to agency.

You may have to let them know that your mom does not have unlimited resources to pay for their water and electric needs.

I don't know about those workers, they may need replacing and then monitoring moving forward. I'm trying to add on cameras before bringing more people into the home because I want to see how dad interacts with others and how others treat my parent and home.

Doing hair and showering - no on those for me. I may would try to be okay with the laundry if they have shifts beyond the norm. But again I'm funny about stuff like that so my mind would be all over the place wondering what bad habits they hold.

Give you an example; trying to keep dad in our home for a while. He at 87 thinks he can still stand and hit the target. So last weekend he had his &*? on him and told me if I didn't get out his way and let him stand like he wants he would pea on me. My bp went through the roof. I told him if he did he would immediately be removed from our home. I left the room to cool off only to find he missed.

Urine everywhere (on toilet and on floor in front of toilet). I told him that he had made work for himself and that I'll do the final cleanup. He goes, it's just urine and urine on floor ain't nothing. BP up again.

So those things would go through my head when it comes to others because I know how I like to keep my home.

Would love to hear your end results.

You are correct not to report...not sure any of what is mentioned constitutes an infraction. Maybe talk to them to play less on their phones, engage your mom a bit more, but if they are awake and essential care needs are being addressed, don't rock the boat.

I would first discuss the issues with the caregivers.
Is your mom able to participate in the conversation? If so she should also have a say. If not this can be done in a meeting between you and the caregivers.
Do you /does your mom need 2 people to assist her constantly? If not then 1 person at a time. If the time of day dictates when mom needs more help then one can do a split shift and the two can alternate who does what hours. I doubt that 2 people are needed overnight.
IF the discussion, meeting falls on deaf ears then asking the agency for replacement caregivers would not be out of line. If you explain the situation they may ask that you keep the ones you have after they have a "in-service" about policy, boundaries and other agency policy.
And I also would be appalled at a caregiver doing her laundry in my machine, dying another persons hair as well as showering. (Unless she has worked overnight and will continue to work more that day)

Cutting back hours would be good if your mom can handle it. It would also be a way for her to assume more independence on a gradual basis if that is the goal.

I wonder if you have communicated your concerns directly with the caregiver. “I do not mind that you wash your own clothes at my mother’s house, but I do not want you taking a shower here. It is inappropriate.” Or “I am shocked that you are coloring someone’s hair while you are caring for my mother. That is unacceptable.”
Instead of reporting their supervisor, you become the supervisor.

Do you really need two of them at her home at the same time? If not, have them take turns coming or just keep one. As far as doing their laundry, hide the detergent and if they want to do their laundry they have to bring their own, and tell them that you would appreciate them asking before they use her washer/dryer EVERY time and to not assume that they are allowed to just use or take whatever they want when they are at her house. That would help with her feeling disrespected. We once hired a company to come in for 24 hours. The first woman they sent only had 15% of her hearing and gave my mom the wrong topical medication, which caused burns on her tush. When her shift was over they brought in a young woman who spent most of her time on the back porch smoking, and fell asleep on the couch. My mom could barely walk and she told me that she kept yelling for the caretaker and finally came out to find her asleep on the couch. She took my mom's crystal salt shaker outside to pour salt over snails, and she broke the salt shaker. I told the company that if she was so cruel to spend hours outside smoking and killing snails, I didn't want her here. I refused to pay for their "services" and now I live with my mom and take care of her, with my BFF sitting for me when I have to go somewhere. I'm lucky that my friend will do this for me, and I pay her $11.00 an hour, which she appreciates.

You need to tell the Caregivers that you will not allow them to take advantage any further. Why let people like this in your home?Give an inch and they will take a mile. Alot of great, HONEST caregivers out there. Dont settle for less.

If you don't report violations or serious problems then you leave them to someone else who might not be as observant and our loved ones become the victim. The agencies have rules and regulations. If someone is doing their hair, doing their laundry how in the heck are they tending to the needs of the person they are supposed to be providing services for? I noted earlier I went through four different care givers in a couple of months and finally found a mature care giver who was perfect for my mom. Unfortunately you had a family emergency ever other day so I ended up doing what she was being paid for. By all means report the infractions and the violations so that someone else does not become her/their victim. Today is small stuff. what else are they doing when they can't be observed and how are they giving your loved one the care they need,

I had a care giver service for my mom through an agency. Went through 4 different providers in several months. One would sit at the table on her cell phone most of the day, a younger person. We had another person would do the laundry and toss it on the bed for my mom to fold and put away herself. "Fired". We had another one who made excuses every other day for not showing up and they had to clock in and out. The pandemic forced me to become a care giver for my 98 year young mother who is still able to get around by herself, cook when she really wants to and go outside on the deck to relax. Needing a care giver in paramount however because I know her limitations. I'm going through a private service and a government agency since I've been doing this by myself for over a year. I interview each potential care giver like I'd do a job interview. I avoid those care givers who ask questions about my parents finances, bank accounts or insurance!! I reject anyone who provides a list of things that they won't or don't do for the amount of money they are paid. And finally I've set of baby cams for when I can not be there. Unfortunately some of the inexpensive services are just home makers, or unskilled workers who are there to clean and keep our senior patient company. Emphasis If I have a person that my mom complaints about one time I am going to pay special attention. If my mom complaints twice she's fired. If my family feels disrespected or that someone is taking advantage or them I'm going to make it personal. It's difficult to be a care giver but it's even more difficult to think about leaving your loved one to the care of someone who does not care. The right person is out there so jut let the right person in. And on that point, coloring your hair while you should be working, doing your laundry using our power, detergent, water. etc. That's a lot of nerve. I'd fire her immediately....AGAIN, The right person is out there and they are looking for the work.

Report immediately. That's ridiculous and I would hope in violation of your agency's rules. Coloring each other's hair?! I am a home caregiver and no way, no how. That shows zero standard of care.

Seems like a lot of caregivers if you go to 4 hour shifts. 6 people in one day? Am I misunderstanding?

I had 24/7 care for my dad. I was still there (at his house) 6 out of 7 days a week. We had 3 caregivers. 1 was excellent, 1 was good, and 1 was acceptable. So hard to match personalities.

I don't know how many agency choices you have in your area, but I had a lot of support from the agency I chose. The owner was involved, the case manager came to help one girl prepare meals, weekly check in calls to me from the company.

If you go private, you'll have to pay the taxes, do the scheduling, the background checks, verify licensing, etc.

You have to report all of this.
I know it might feel uncomfortable, but they can’t address what they don’t know.
I had 24:7 live in care that robbed.
I didn’t pay the last $7,000.00 bill.
I sent in the police report with the bill and never heard from them again.
They are at WORK.
Don’t normalize this behavior and you’re not the “bad guy.”
They are.

You have 2 caregivers over there at the same time? I have NEVER had that except when relieving each other... change of shifts... giving report and one CG was NOT doing anything for this one client. She had told me that another CG was NOT changing him on her shift, a 16 hour shift. That was a lie. When I came on, this CG was the one NOT changing him. Bed was soaked, when taking off depend, caked feces. I started coming 20 minutes early ( no pay) just to have her "help me" change him and clean him up. She refused. She would not even get the water. She would NOT touch him. She refused to help.. ON Her shift-- me cleaning him, yeah.. on her shift. He needed suctioning of spit. She did not know how to turn the machine on so she was allowing our client to literally drown in his own saliva for hours at a time! I reported this to daughter who was POA. She did nothing. I quit... again. Won't work with that CG ever again. So, get rid of those girls! Please.. do NOT put up with this stuff. This is NOT caregiving. They are abusing your mom and you!

Can you talk to the owner of this agency? If that does not work, these agencies are usually a franchise and they have some main office they have to report to. I worked for Comfort Keepers. Terrible RN there. She knew nothing about home health, hired right from school and she did not care to learn. Terrible attitude. Did not check on clients/patients. I tried reporting her to owner but ended up having to report to the main office. The woman I talked to acted genuinely concerned and was not long after, this RN was no longer employed there. Franchises do have bosses.. offices that they report to. Please, if this is a franchise, report them to their main office.

Again, these girls you have there with your mother are NOT caregivers. Get rid of them because if you do find at least one great CG... she will most likely get tired of these others and leave and you don't want that. It normally takes awhile to get those that are the right fit.

Also please remember.... CG are NOT housekeepers. They are NOT there to clean your whole house. That is what housekeepers/housecleaners do. They make a ton more money that CGs do but I would rather much wipe someone's butt than clean house any day. PLease.. do NOT expect your CG's to clean that whole house of your moms on top of everything else. We do light housekeeping which means this... any thing we do for your mom... give her a bath, we clean up AFTER ourselves. Prepare a meal for your mom? We clean up after that. And yes, that does involve sweeping the kitchen floor and mopping it. Same with the bathroom that SHE uses, but we don't vacuum and/or dust the whole house. We vacuum, dust just the places ----where she is at and what she uses. Just the areas that are used in the care of your mom. We don't clean the kid's bathrooms, their rooms, We don't clean windows, mow lawns, pull weeds, strip kids' beds and do their laundry, make cupcakes for kids school parties (which I have done..lol) We don't go up and down ladders. I had a lady who said that I am to do what her husband was doing and can no longer do. She kept telling me to mow the 1 acre and pull the weeds. When I told my agency what she said, she said she never said that! I have had people make their loved one use all 3 bathrooms in the house so I had to clean them. Make them walk by their usual bathroom to the bathroom on the other side of the house! So...abuse goes both ways.

Please.. report these girls. They know better. I see this stuff going on all the time any more. They do it because they get away with it most likely. You are NOT helping them or teaching them consequences when you allow this to go on. Evidently mommy did not teach them so someone has to or it will continue. Thanks...