Does anyone know what a "catfish"is? I was watching a show about this. It is about people who make up personas for forums. Mostly it is on dating sites and the catfish uses fake names, profile pictures and start relationships with people under false pretences. Usually the fakers are just lonely people with low self esteem who do not think people will really like the real them so they make themselves prettier, more educated, with better jobs and more lofty hobbies and talents. But it got me thinking. Do we have any catfish here? And if we do should we care?
What if , hypothetically, I found out we did. Hypothetically what if I was bored with a bad cold and googled some posters on here and found out that we have our very own catfish? HYPOTHETICALLY. Would you want to know? Would it matter? What of I did , hypothetically, out the catfish and the poor people were so distraught that it caused them much emotional pain? Maybe these people are just really lonely. Who cares if they really are not caregivers. Right? But what if these same catfish sometimes wrote hurtful things on here. Would that change the situation any? Or is it still not anyone's place to out them. HYPOTHETICALLY. I mean we all embellish some, right? Maybe I am not such a good person with my Mom as I write. Should I be outted?
This was a by interesting show and there is also a documentary of anyone is interested. It is called-Catfish.
I would really like to know what one would do if they, hypothetically, discovered a catfish. Please.
I did have the experience where someone replied with somewhat rude statements to one of my concerns ( Im learning something new everyday about caregiving, advocating and how family members act when a loved one is ill) if someone is a "catfish" they are being as insensitive as some of our family members are ...who haven't walked an inch in the caregivers shoes. It's great to have an opinion and we all are entitled to it, it's too bad that people prey on others when they are down. To all those who are caring for a loved one, at the end of the day you have made the differance in the quality of thier lives and they do appreciate us even though they may not always show it!
I guess it adds to the caregiver doldrums sometimes to read some outlandish claims, or never ending victimhood.....but I am glad you started this thread Mish, the fact that it keeps coming back gives us a place to say how we feel about certain people without going into attack mode on another thread....
Ya'll weren't talking about ME were you????? LOLOLOL I'm laughing about this last comment I made, but will get the Kleenex ready in case others do not see the humor.....hugs to all who give a damn, who are here for the right reasons.... and may we all find what we need here, and give some back....
lose the guilt. the elder trusts you and has usually selected you years in advance . they are old, not stupid.
so if you are reading this nurse nancy, blomedogface..
I have never ever been on an online forum. This site was my first - and I was seriously suicidal - and needed help ASAP due to caring for 2 bedridden parents by myself and full-time job. I am just soooo glad that those who responded treated me nicely. ... A few months ago, I have seen posters be very rude and accusing to the poster asking for help, I stopped hopping around .... Only one time I responded - via the Wall for privacy in a nice way reminding the poster that this site is for encouragement and knowledge - not to be accused of what she said. That poster responded on my Wall very rudely and told me that she has the right to write whatever she wants "freedom of speech" and then had the nerve to tell Me NOT to write on her wall??? So, where is My "freedom of speech"?... Does it only apply to her and no one else? Anyway, since she didn't want me to write it on her wall, I went back to the thread she made those terrible comments and responded back to her ... Unfortunately, several people read what she said on my Wall and were so worried about me. I reassured them that I was fine. I Rarely Interfere in a thread when someone is being mean or hurtful. But this one time, I just could Not keep quiet.
jeannegibbs -HI! So glad to see you back!!! Hope you are well. ((( hugs))) I did not tell the admin. at the time I did not have as much info that I have now ( without going into detail there is a site that keeps track of people's posts and every once in awhile -- usually when I feel the need to be angry at someone 0.o --I look at it and read what she has been up to around the web. I really NEED to stop!!) and I have not seen her on here for a bit so.... And I do worry that a mental illness is involved and , actually, wish I had not even started this thread, but I did so.....
ANYHOO--I think that the majority of the peeps on this board are awesome! And we should just forget about this whole thread!!!!!!
And I got respite tonight for my girl and am going out with my husband!! YAY! Sooo, I will have a drink for you all-- even you catfish --- ( kidding!)
Not so crabby now.
Blessings!!!!
What's the worst a catfish can do? They just bump along the bottom and get fat. Sit easy.
Rule of thumb, though - if you don't want the world to know it, don't put it online. Given the times we live in, anything you put on the web is potentially public property. Stay safe!
I did post, a week or so ago, That lately there are MANY new posts, from people with no activity on their wall, that tell these elaborate stories. We, as caring people give them advise and sympathy and spend time to help them, and they NEVER post again. AC deleted that post. I check profiles now, before wasting my time on these trolls.
BTW...the male is NOT capt!!!! This male has made it quite clear that he is jealous of all the attention the wonderful, loving, supportive capt gets here.
Sorry, had to speak my mind. I always do! Love to the TRUE caregivers and supporters here!
Wow, what an angry post. That doesn't really sound like you. Are you OK? I am so sorry for what you have been through but I do not believe we all have a hustle. I refuse to believe that. It is too depressing.
That said, I started this post , not to talk about someone, but to see if it would bother anyone that I found out a very hostile poster on here has, in fact, created an incredible web of lies and is not a caregiver. Again, very very easy to find on the world wide web. As vulnerable as we sometimes ( often) get I found it very disturbing that said poster would take someone's pain and life story and twist it to benefit their own warped need for attention-- but not even the need for attention as much as the need to make others feel bad and build up their own false achievements.
I dropped it awhile back but this thread has a way of resurfacing and I again feel the need to explain. I was not asking if anyone thinks there are posters on here pretending to be skinny when they are indeed overweight to get a date :/ I was concerned about the vitriol this one poster had and her lies. Most don't seem to care --so be it. I find it terrible but I also read many other posts by same poster on different forums that were just horribly mean and self righteous. I know I should not let it bother me but , you know what, I am human, and I am struggling and sometimes being able to be mad at a mean, lying poster is a vice I indulge in. Call it displaced anger.
Still crabby. Sorry.
By the way I don't think the Capt is a 13 year old girl in a mini skirt tapping away on her princess bed - but I could be wrong?
My father used to say "When you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." As a young boy, I believed people would always do the right thing; and that the truth would set you free. Translation: I was a blind, idealistic idiot. When I moved to the US, I got "catfished" many times. Most of the time by my birth mother; a cokehead half-sister; an aunt on dope since the age of 13; a gay half-brother who "didn't have any place to go" and ran out with all the Xmas presents while I slept; an uncle who took me on a tour of Times Square, got some $ from some fat guy at a porn bookstore, and told me to get on his van for some kitchen repairs at the man's apartment. I ended up on an abandoned building in the South Bronx, he ripped my clothes off and beat me for not putting out. One punch after another, he kept screaming "I pay, you owe."
A little too gritty for your taste? Well, another thing that I learned here in hypocritical, puritanical America is that people demand honesty from you but when you give it to them they don't know what to do with it. ... This forum's moderators might not be comfortable with this post and sanitize it a little bit. Some members might say "It's not what you say Eddie, it's how you say it;" or "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." ... Freedom of speech -- even when you're not crude, crass, and obscene, can be very expensive. Because truth is so strange, some people sugarcoat things, adopt a teflon-like political language & attitude to camouflage their real selves, lie & fabricate to color their drab lives or to signal they actually exist. Many times, in my experience, self-serving predators make up some kind of front to use me, abuse me, or hurt me in some way. To "catfish" me like the 38-27-42 bombshell from a website who 4 months ago turned out to be a 350+ lb., boozing, Bohemian woman on the 6th floor of a dumpy, Lower East Side tenement. ... In retrospect, she didn't play me. I played myself.
What I'm trying to say Mish is that EVERYONE has a hustle. Call it "catfish," attention-seeking boohoohoo stories, legends-in-their-own-minds playing the victim, condescending know-it-alls, and Ernest Hemingways of BS who've never "caregived" the scrawny chickens in their own backyards.
So keep your eyes and ears open; and find your niche between predators and prey so you don't get "catfished." ... Also, remember that the more you talk about others the more you say about yourself.